RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (Full Version)

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utopicus -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (12/9/2008 11:40:28 PM)

it's probably best not to advertise it; it comes with the right person, so it's up to you to decide who that person is



Jeptha -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the sam (12/10/2008 6:38:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I found that making references to ducks and cuddling is a sure fire way to ward off the trolls...No clue what scares them more, but I'm thinking of getting an attack guard duck to see if it works real time too.

You could embed a request for a some particular non-sexual information toward the middle or end of your ad.
Some people request that anyone replying put a certain word (like "Ducks!", maybe) in the subject line.
If the guy doesn't address the request at all, he probably hasn't really read your ad.

Otherwise, I advise looking for someone who tries to express complete thoughts, writes complete sentences, etc. Someone who makes a stab at communication, in other words.



Maya2001 -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people **** the same time? (12/10/2008 7:01:04 PM)

There are quite a few that do not bother to read the profile.. I have had many a male sub write me hoping to convince me they would be the perfect slave/sub for me (even though I am a sub not a mistress or domme).... I have had fem doms  email wanting me me to be their sub/slave even though I am straight and was seeking a male dom... some actually do read but hope they can change my mind/preferences



kidwithknife -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same t (12/10/2008 8:21:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss
It sure can be tricky, my x and I were compatible in a lot of ways but sex, and it drove a huge wedge in between us, cause he was very immature and didn't have the maturity to handle rejection and would pester me untill I saw red about sex, knowing he was doing so. One time he pissed me off and pushed me to far and I told him pack your bags I am sending you home I am sick of you pestering me.


That sounds like there were other compatibility issues as well.  (Communication, him not being able to handle rejection etc.)  If anything, that looks to me like sex was the catalyst for issues rather then the issue itself.

Don't get me wrong though.  I'm not saying don't talk about sex at all!  (Not all my conversations with subs on here are highbrow discussions of Wittgenstein).  What I'm suggesting is that's a subject to explore as conversation naturally develops, as opposed to necessarily outlining in it a profile/initial mail.

On reflection though, I have thought of another factor. I think a lot of it depends on what you're looking for on here. In my case, while I'm not averse to a relationship if one seems to be a good idea, my profile also lists friends, because I'm always happy to talk to cool people.  Obviously, with that being the case, my profile needs to not overly emphasis sex as it's not relevant for that purpose.  At the other end, I can understand that someone primarily seeking play partners may want to get the issue of sexual compatibility resolved as soon as possible.



SlaveIndigochild -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (12/11/2008 2:29:02 PM)

bdsm has always been sexual for me. It would never have occurred to me that it wasn't sexual for others either....so i always have expected it to be part of the bdsm excursion. Scumbags are scumbags with or without the sex. 



stella41b -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same t (12/11/2008 5:15:57 PM)

In my experience you can call it jiggy jiggy, rumpy pumpy, wubba dubba, bumping, jumping, bonking, shagging, humping, rogering, discussing fine art, showing people your etchings, horizontal Olympics, but the Dirty Raincoat Brigade will always find out and coming looking for you.



agirl -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same t (12/11/2008 6:02:41 PM)

 I've tended to assume that most people interested in a relationship with me would want sex. I'm strange like that. I haven't been out to test it against their *dominance*. I like sex too.

I wouldn't advertise anything at ALL about myself sexually, it would give completely the wrong impreession of me altogether. While I like sex, it doesn't mean I'll like it with anyone......and even if I DID like it, it wouldn't mean a great deal more than that.

Sex isn't a final outcome, a precious goal, a super-duper commitment of any kind. It's something I am able to enjoy IF and WHEN I want to. 

Instasex doms get fed up within a message or two if you have much to say beyond * sex*.

agirl




GoodFeathers -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (12/12/2008 5:46:54 PM)

I would like to offer you some words of wisdom here, but I can only give you a bit of my own experience and you make take from it what you will.

1) I like sex.  A lot.  I don't put it off as long as I'm told I should, but I don't give in on the first date, either. 

2) I purposefully did not post anything sexual in my profile and was bombarded with some of the freakiest emails ever.  Heck, I got a marriage proposal in one.  Yeah, "delete" & "block". 

3) After recently being acquired by my Dom, I put a notice in my profile concerning that I was no longer on the market--still got 20 emails a week offering to play.  I edited it so now I get maybe 3 or 4 a week with obscene offers.  Again "delete". 

4) I've found simply saying, rather frankly, what I'm willing to do right away and what I'm not.  I say it very slowly and very clearly and maintain eye contact to make sure nothing I've said has been missed or misconstrued.  It can be considered too straightforward, but I'd rather be harsh and honest than a pushover. 



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same t (12/12/2008 6:43:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

In my experience you can call it jiggy jiggy, rumpy pumpy, wubba dubba, bumping, jumping, bonking, shagging, humping, rogering, discussing fine art, showing people your etchings, horizontal Olympics, but the Dirty Raincoat Brigade will always find out and coming looking for you.


LOL Stella!  My Master is a fireman and they call it "chopping".  [sm=dunno.gif]  Don't know why though!  So you can add chopping to the list. [;)]



YourhandMyAss -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same t (12/12/2008 7:57:58 PM)

He wrote the book on issues lol. There were tons of other problems and issues lol.


That sounds like there were other compatibility issues as well.  (Communication, him not being able to handle rejection etc.)  If anything, that looks to me like sex was the catalyst for issues rather then the issue itself.





YourhandMyAss -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (12/12/2008 8:00:20 PM)

I remember one guy in the first email to me on match maker.com WAnted to know if I'd marry him and move in with him and be wife to him and mother to his children. I can't remember exactly what scathing reply I had, but boy he did get one.


quote:

ORIGINAL: GoodFeathers

I would like to offer you some words of wisdom here, but I can only give you a bit of my own experience and you make take from it what you will.

1) I like sex.  A lot.  I don't put it off as long as I'm told I should, but I don't give in on the first date, either. 

2) I purposefully did not post anything sexual in my profile and was bombarded with some of the freakiest emails ever.  Heck, I got a marriage proposal in one.  Yeah, "delete" & "block". 

3) After recently being acquired by my Dom, I put a notice in my profile concerning that I was no longer on the market--still got 20 emails a week offering to play.  I edited it so now I get maybe 3 or 4 a week with obscene offers.  Again "delete". 

4) I've found simply saying, rather frankly, what I'm willing to do right away and what I'm not.  I say it very slowly and very clearly and maintain eye contact to make sure nothing I've said has been missed or misconstrued.  It can be considered too straightforward, but I'd rather be harsh and honest than a pushover. 




YourhandMyAss -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same t (12/12/2008 8:09:33 PM)

See, I have the potential to like sex, and the desire to like sex, but I've got a lot of roadblocks in my way to enjoyment of sex and I really do not enjoy sex, or get anything out of it,  haven't for years and years, * and before any one says but you're only 26, I've been having sex since I was 14, and before that went through years of sexual abuse, so I am pretty much  been exposed to sex most my life, and have been around the block many times as the saying goes*.

* Sex right now is been there done that, I didn't get the t shirt and you're not impressing me.

Sensuality,  now I have no issues with.

Even though I am / was seeking a dom, they'd have to be the type that is ok with the female calling all the shots with sex,  and be very patient, and they would have to put her pleasure ahead of theirs, at least untill some of the issues were resolved.

I would of been seeking a dom that wanted to help my sexual enjoyment blossom and grow and together work on t hose road blocks, and if needed go to sex positive counsoler, who'd be willing to help us work through those issues.

So, sexual compatibility would of been a very important issue, And I feel it's very important to let it be known right up front I WILL be calling the shots,  untill we decide  TOGETHER, it will be other wise.

That way they can't say any punches were pulled.
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

 I've tended to assume that most people interested in a relationship with me would want sex. I'm strange like that. I haven't been out to test it against their *dominance*. I like sex too.

I wouldn't advertise anything at ALL about myself sexually, it would give completely the wrong impreession of me altogether. While I like sex, it doesn't mean I'll like it with anyone......and even if I DID like it, it wouldn't mean a great deal more than that.

Sex isn't a final outcome, a precious goal, a super-duper commitment of any kind. It's something I am able to enjoy IF and WHEN I want to. 

Instasex doms get fed up within a message or two if you have much to say beyond * sex*.

agirl





moonvine -> RE: How do you advertise you want a very sexual rltionship but attract the right people @ the same time? (12/12/2008 8:57:52 PM)

Good lord almighty...*runs to perv your profile to see why you get so much email*



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