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StormsSlave -> RE: Being a Good Communicator (3/20/2009 12:03:30 PM)
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To answer the questions:
What is good communication?
Listening and being blunt:
Listening is such a challenge for me. It seems like my brain is always multi-tasking while people are talking, and I am so impatient for it to be my turn. I'm incredibly visual, remember a huge percantage of what I see, but the audio flows in and out of my brain without leaving much behind. I believe good communication is open sharing of thoughts, feelings, and ideas without worry of reprisal or consequence. When I bring something to My Lord, my greatest fear is his displeasure. I've told him this, and God Bless his heart, he tries so hard to be completely neutral to whatever comes out of my mouth. Later, when my heartbeat has slowed down and calm has been reestablished, he will tell me the wrong in my thinking or state his side of it. Listening is the thing he does beautifully, and I am learning it from him.
How does one be a good communicator?
My Lord is a far better communicator than I.
He'll tell you otherwise, because I know so many buck-fifty-words, but a huge vocabulary does not a good communicator make. Here's what I've learned from him in our time together.
When My Lord asks me to tell him something I am feeling or thinking, he watches me intently. He gauges my body language, my facial expression, my tone, and my words. He listens for key words to explore matters further, and pays attention to my word choices. By actively paying attention to me, he hears way more than I say. It feels a little uncomfortable to be watched so intently, but I've learned to appreciate the result.
What is your communication style?
I am impatient, and energetic, and very good at stating my thoughts and ideas, and clarifying them so that everyone can understand. I often finish other's sentences, a bad habit, and one I am trying to break. I have learned to listen better thanks to my job and My Lord. I use a lot of big words, not to be a showoff, which I know is how it comes out, but just because my brain tends to pick the most apporpriate word, and often that word has more than two syllables.
I am in the process of training myself to be a better listener. I am actively setting aside distractions and focusing on the person in front of me/on the phone. The other thing I am learning is to let people know VERBALLY that they have been understood before I jump to action. If a person is repeating themselves, they don't feel as if they are being heard. It's my job as the listener to make sure they know they've been heard. My conversations are a lot more productive and a lot less frustrating when I can remember that little basic step.
Nice topic, MR. :)
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