Differences between male and female subs? (Full Version)

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MRandme -> Differences between male and female subs? (12/10/2008 7:22:46 PM)

This came up in a discussion with an msub, which then got hashed out on the IRC channel i haunt with no real conclusion.

Is there a difference between the way You would train a male sub and a female sub? Do they react differently to the training? Or is there no real difference, excepting the usual variations You get within the genders? (ie, different people will all react in different ways)

i had thought that since men and women think and process differently that they would need different approaches. Perhaps i am wrong.

Thoughts?

g





SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/10/2008 7:39:11 PM)

For me, it's not a matter of male or female.  It's completely dependent on the individual.  I'm a stickler for learning everything I possibly can about a sub.  I have a highly psychological approach to D/s, and I want to know what makes him/her tick.  I even go so far as to keep a file on a sub with their responses to questions and assignements, either written or physical, that I give.  I do this for all subs I'm seriously considering, regardless of what sex they happen to be.  From this file, I'm able to determine what training techniques are best suited to that person and then make use of them.  (I'm also able to cook up some wickedly sadistic mindfucks, but I digress.) I'm not interested in cookie-cutter slaves so while I do use the same questions and assignments, what I learn from them is different for each individual.  From there, how I train depends on what I learn.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/10/2008 8:09:16 PM)

The differences tend to come far more from social impositions placed on people as they grow in their world, and then from the impositions the scene tacks on based on sex/gender.

Generalities only work when discussing a general group.  The moment you start to talk about individuals, all that goes out the window.



MarcEsadrian -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/11/2008 12:39:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

This came up in a discussion with an msub, which then got hashed out on the IRC channel i haunt with no real conclusion.

Is there a difference between the way You would train a male sub and a female sub? Do they react differently to the training? Or is there no real difference, excepting the usual variations You get within the genders? (ie, different people will all react in different ways)

i had thought that since men and women think and process differently that they would need different approaches. Perhaps i am wrong.



You are actually quite correct. While most techniques apply equally well to both sexes, and it is true that we should always look at the individual personality, it is wrong to assume sex has no bearing on the subject. Outside of the cultural cues we've been given since birth, differences between males and females in mate selection strategies and even cognition itself lend credence to the idea that the sexes are different enough to make sex a consideration whenever one wishes to "teach".




DesFIP -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/11/2008 3:25:22 AM)

There are some things more common with one sex than with the other. Obviously not in every single person of an orientation but sufficiently common that we can think of it as a technique more likely to work on men than women, or vice versa.

Chastity isn't usually used long term on women. Long term meaning months or years.
Heavy degradation isn't usually sought after by women. Men are more likely to go for the "lowly worm" stuff than women are.



Focus50 -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/12/2008 2:36:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

This came up in a discussion with an msub, which then got hashed out on the IRC channel i haunt with no real conclusion.

Is there a difference between the way You would train a male sub and a female sub? Do they react differently to the training? Or is there no real difference, excepting the usual variations You get within the genders? (ie, different people will all react in different ways)

i had thought that since men and women think and process differently that they would need different approaches. Perhaps i am wrong.

Thoughts?

I've only ever interacted with fem/subs and they've all reacted differently in one way or another to different tasks/challenges/stimuli etc, which means I've had to adapt my own methods accordingly. 
 
Different genders is merely another dimension to the same individuality equation - one that this hetero Dom isn't the least bit interested exploring....
 
Focus.



Missokyst -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/12/2008 9:47:34 AM)

Well I am not a master but I have had a lot of contact with male subs.  I do see a difference between the the sexes and the way they go about getting their needs met.  Most of the male subs I know are almost.. demanding.  It is as if the societal push toward men being leaders, has cast the shadow down on them and it's nearly unavoidable to walk away from that.
Male subs in my observation have defined needs.  "I want to service you", but in the way that has replayed in their heads for years.  Females on the other hand veer closer to the "whatever he wants" side of the spectrum.  In a strange way, both of these mirror the other.. they are the same, but different.  It is hard to explain.
As far as training goes I find it easier to break the illusions of either sex.
Kyst



IronBear -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/12/2008 10:47:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MRandme

This came up in a discussion with an msub, which then got hashed out on the IRC channel i haunt with no real conclusion.

Is there a difference between the way You would train a male sub and a female sub? Do they react differently to the training? Or is there no real difference, excepting the usual variations You get within the genders? (ie, different people will all react in different ways)

i had thought that since men and women think and process differently that they would need different approaches. Perhaps i am wrong.

Thoughts?

g





There is a difference in the training of male and female slaves so I imagine that the same applies to subs (never dealt with subs but listening to them and their Dominants talking at munches and other functions, this seems to be the case) . It appears that the training may differ in the way it is imposed but the goals are either the same or similar.

  One wants to emphasize the masculine beauty of a buy in his carriage, demeanor and his service. I would want him to serve as gracefully as any competent girl but with manliness rather than femaleness. If he is well muscled I want them exposed and oiled for view if the lifestyle dress codes and the occasion allow it. Should he not be well muscled and toned the lad can still demonstrate his maleness by selecting alternative dress modes (perhaps hiding a brewer’s goiter) I do not expect a boy to be a simpering self effacing sycophant, but rather to be respectful and to reply clearly in his normal voice with directness and conciseness.
 
Ideally I prefer to have a boy and a girl for ‘tis wondrous to watch them complement each other as they serve and perform their duties..  Oh dear, and I was expecting to explain the differences between male and females to someone who has spent their life cloistered away from the other sex….     



TheVoiceofOne -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/12/2008 11:58:46 AM)

One has an inny... one has an outy... I only play with inny's.



KnightofMists -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/12/2008 12:43:01 PM)

quote:


i had thought that since men and women think and process differently that they would need different approaches. Perhaps i am wrong.



I would say that each person thinks and processes things differently and they each would need different approaches.  Many might be similiar... but all are going to be uniquely different as well to be effective.



KnightofMists -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/12/2008 12:44:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheVoiceofOne

One has an inny... one has an outy... I only play with inny's.


um... actually...  One as 3 inny's and the other has 2 innys and an outy.



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/12/2008 1:11:35 PM)

Third time is a charm, right?

One has 4 inny's, one has 3 inny's and an outty (not counting nose, ears, or belly button).  [;)]



AlexandraLynch -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/12/2008 2:58:57 PM)

Every person's different. I do know that with a female slave I would not probably use the same exact training I am using with a male, and especially not with this particular male. I'm not just talking about something specific like arousal training. The grace of the man comfortable in his body and the grace of a woman comfortable in hers are two different things, and while both are the foundation of a beautiful slave, they require different methods to get there. I would say that my own inclination is to shape graceful strength in my males, and strong grace in my females.




sirguym -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/13/2008 4:30:18 AM)

Much as others have said, the individual variation between people is  far wider than any differences between men and women.

But their bodies are significantly different, there is a clear difference between the role 'the average submissive woman' see for herself, to the role 'the average submissive man' sees for himself; whether that is due to cultural conditioning or 'genetic predisposition'.

Having said that, some men would fit the 'typical woman' profile and some women the 'typical male' one.

Particularly when they are transexual, inter-sex, genderqueer, etc.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/13/2008 8:52:24 AM)

Anyone who thinks that there isn't a difference between male and female submissives should just ask a pro-dome.  They finding one who services women.

Yeah, they are very different animals.



boytoyinatlanta -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/26/2008 10:43:14 AM)

males subs are trained to be submissive....female subs are born that way



CatdeMedici -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/26/2008 11:44:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

males subs are trained to be submissive....female subs are born that way


oohhh I am going to grab a martini, this is going get good now.



roland23 -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/26/2008 11:47:01 AM)

Great question! Are male subs as obsessed about looks and money as many of the female subs on this website are?



DesFIP -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/26/2008 11:55:06 AM)

Women have body issues, men have performance issues. Look it up.



NefertariReborn -> RE: Differences between male and female subs? (12/26/2008 9:43:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: boytoyinatlanta

males subs are trained to be submissive....female subs are born that way
[/quote

Someone left their brain on the counter this morning.  Go back and get it, idjit. ( I meant that in the nicest way possible.  Seriously)



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