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RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:15:16 PM

Nendarye

Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

Oh, get a grip. You think a guy owes you something because you "took the time to respond to his email" in which you turned him down?

That's a high level of arrogance.

I'll bet that what you're really annoyed about is that he probably put you down for being a "wide load".

/blinks
/blinks again

I take it we found the 'rude' one?

Take no notice of those who respond like that Kit. You OWE no one an explanation for ANYTHING :)

< Message edited by Nendarye -- 12/28/2005 2:17:00 PM >

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

(in reply to roughleather)

Post #: 21

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:17:21 PM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittean
Instead i got a rude response because i would not consider starting something with a person who is hundreds of miles from my home.

Hi, kittean and welcome out of lurking mode!

I put a comment, about seeking men that are "local only," right in my profile, so that I don't have to deal with this type of nonsense. It doesn't stop them from responding ('cause we know how many few people actually "read" profiles

), but I delete the e-mail, if they aren't local. I just have no desire to chit chat or play games with someone thousands of miles away (although I do enjoy corresponding with folks from this forum

). I find no desire to read or respond to travelers, when they don't read well enough to comprehend, or respect the simple note in the profile.

Being specific in the profile will curtail some of that, and it's up front, clear about what you want, or don't want too.

K

(in reply to kittean)

Post #: 22

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:18:21 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

kittean the answer would be:

NO!!!!! 不!!! Nr!!!! NON!!!! NEIN!!!! Αριθ.!!!!
いいえ!!! NÃO!!! НЕТ!!!! and again NO!!!!NO!!!NO!!

(in reply to kittean)

Post #: 23

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:20:36 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

kittean, never think you owe someone like the rude poster any explanation, out of the gate you are far and above--a much better person--and I applaud your focus, your dedication and your passion--the L/life is supposed to be more tolerant for that is what we all seek--tolerance, but some forget and seem to leave that at the door---

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 12/28/2005 2:23:56 PM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to kittean)

Post #: 24

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:28:00 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

I agree, with you MH, but turn the lights out on that neon green above you, and I don't know half those words, anyway?
I do know...No, means NO...not maybe..........usually, anyway

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 25

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:31:04 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDREAD

kittean the answer would be:

NO!!!!! 不!!! Nr!!!! NON!!!! NEIN!!!! Αριθ.!!!!
いいえ!!! NÃO!!! НЕТ!!!! and again NO!!!!NO!!!NO!!

LOL I could not have said it better myself :)

As for the intentionally rude comment made by rough boy there...people like that live only to make others feel bad...ignore comments such as that, and never, never apologize to them...they are not worth the waste of breath or the waste of mind power .

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 26

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:32:14 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I actually agree with roughleather as well and you let him take
control of your thoughts and action with out concensuality. I
also think that roughleather has a right to His kirt and Common
Sence wake up cat call on the subject to make all here understand
that for different folks different strokes. Some actually get off
on such acts, opinions and humiliation and rudness folks. Remember
We are not at Your mothers picnic nor frontroom, this is alternate
lifestyle, alternate opinion, alternate conformity here on collarme.

Be careful caitlyn n albatross the people you tempt to shun today may
become the Owners of tomorrow.............. ~evil grin~

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 27

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:38:52 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

The TOS for CM also has rules about flaming others--that was not a wake up call, it was a direct attack on someone who asked for advice. IMHO

"Remember
We are not at Your mothers picnic nor frontroom, this is alternate
lifestyle, alternate opinion, alternate conformity here on collarme."

and all should be respected as such

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 12/28/2005 2:43:53 PM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 28

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:44:08 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Well ... one of three things just happened here:

a) We found out who the rude dominant was ...

b) We just witnessed message board suicide ...

c) Both a) & b)

I say "all of the above." M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to caitlyn)

Post #: 29

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:45:11 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I disagree. I seen no attack. I seen a differance of opinion.
Of course I am a Sadist and will look at issues differently
then a bottom or D/s. kittean second guessed herself in act and
thought process. If this had been real life and such took
place the reality would of been a kittean looking a roughleather
in the face and I think its quite appropreate that all see
what this lifestyle is like in real life and reality. How would
she then of responded? With a question or a absolute NO??

Understand My gist on this small but all important lesson?
When NO means NO ? ~smiles~

< Message edited by MistressDREAD -- 12/28/2005 2:48:12 PM >

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 30

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:49:20 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

"Remember
We are not at Your mothers picnic nor frontroom, this is alternate
lifestyle, alternate opinion, alternate conformity here on collarme."

and all should be respected as such

I agree.
One time this guy who thought he was showing the highest form of respect and submission approached me with such vile description of himself/such profanity, that I blushed just reading it... Yes this is alternative lifestyles, and we're all adults (I hope), but no one imposes his kink on me without my desire/consent, after 1 short warning to cut it out, he was blocked when he proceeded to act clueless. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 31

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:50:14 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

But this is not real life it is a library, she did not second guess, she came to speak, vent, and seek knowledge and wisdom--so that in real life, she knows what she wants and needs to do--she has chosen to seek guidance from others with experience--she deserves that guidance delieverd in an intelligent and tolerant manner--

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 32

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:56:47 PM

kittean

Posts: 14
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nendarye

quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

Oh, get a grip. You think a guy owes you something because you "took the time to respond to his email" in which you turned him down?

That's a high level of arrogance.

I'll bet that what you're really annoyed about is that he probably put you down for being a "wide load".

/blinks
/blinks again

I take it we found the 'rude' one?

Take no notice of those who respond like that Kit. You OWE no one an explanation for ANYTHING :)

Let me set it straight so there is no attacking an innocent. Roughleather is not the person in question. But he is entitled to an opinion in open forum... which is different than in private unsolicited email. But i would hope that in the future that if he sent an unsolicited email and got a "no thank you" email back that he would show more respect than a personal physical attack.

But i ask.. which is more rude?? to ignore an email from someone who took their valuable time to write... or to take a chance of bruising a fragile ego by saying "no thank you"? and does that small effort of returning a message really open a person up to a personal attack? Does it justify the behavior in private email or for that matter in open forum?

(in reply to Nendarye)

Post #: 33

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 2:59:28 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Again I disagree MH00314 This person asked for help and
did second guess her answer to the other person and this
site is the stepping stone to real life and I feel both Mine
and the other Dominants answers were both intelligent,
tolerant to Our Lifestyles ways and beliefs and experiences
and as a library you should be showing all sides and aspects
to any situation and the email today will become the door
knock of tomorrow for this person and I think My wisDom
is just as great as any others here. I also think that for
her to vent on this other person here is also flaming that
person who might have also not had a clue about things
from what it sounds like, or could of been a lifestyler into
humiliation which last I looked is STILL a part of BDSM
and S/m as well. Define Your Tolerance MH00314 because
it seems to differ greatly from Mine.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 34

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 3:05:52 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

kittean I stand by My opinion and treat no one any different
here then I would in real life in a lifestyle setting. Which by
the way My Lifestyle setting for Me involves My life 24/7
and I am the same Rude, Ruthless, Mean, Sadistic Bitch
of a Dominant Teacher that I am on here and take no issue
showing all sides to a complex and sometimes extream lifestyle.
Civility is for Societies norm. Nonconformity is for the rest of Us.

(in reply to MistressDREAD)

Post #: 35

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 3:10:49 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

But i ask.. which is more rude?? to ignore an email from someone who took their valuable time to write... or to take a chance of bruising a fragile ego by saying "no thank you"? and does that small effort of returning a message really open a person up to a personal attack? Does it justify the behavior in private email or for that matter in open forum?

We've responded to every email even though 99% of the time it's only to say "no thanks". That said, I'm sure, since we participate on this site as a couple with only one profile, we do not receive nearly as much email as an unattached female. How many rejections responses have been "rude"? Couldn't tell you, but it's not important. To us, it is more important that we aren't so we reply.

We've sent a response to each and every message received. Even to those who can't read and their email is a request to be dominated by beth and to have their balls crushed by her boots. Would you consider that request rude or just deserving of pity?

(in reply to kittean)

Post #: 36

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 3:31:47 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

1. But i ask.. which is more rude?? to ignore an email from someone who took their valuable time to write... or to take a chance of bruising a fragile ego by saying "no thank you"?

2. and does that small effort of returning a message really open a person up to a personal attack?

3.Does it justify the behavior in private email or for that matter in open forum?

1. Mis Manners lives in normal Society. If you are a part of
this society then it regulates to respond. What you have to think
about here in a alternate way of life and living and what value
you will put on the act of addressing another persons addressing you
who gains responces from you that makes you second guess
yourself in any way shape or form. Just the action of a second
guess in My alternate lifestyle way negates a quick and resounding
NO. neither way is rude. you responded back right. once you said
no the name should of been blocked and you turn your back and
walk away because no means no. once you took the act of entering
into his space you became his to abuse, and your no turned into a
i dont know and his words controled your thought and action process.

2. any responce can negate another responce. Did you feel totally open
to his abuse of your no? I think so by your words so you answered your
own question here.

3.Just what action would you like justified? his responce to a no he dident
like or your responce to a no you dident like?
by writing to him you opened yourself up to a responce what ever it is.
by reading his writing after giving him a negitive no you opened yourself
up to his negitive words and their weight insteand of standing up to your
no and removing him from the scene completly, turning away the weight
and power of your NO by letting him back in to control your thoughts and
feelings.
If you had stood up to your no completly and after writing a small note
to him saying no blocked his email would you of even known his thoughts
or had any reason to second guess your actions of writing a responce in
the first place? No of course not and this is the way you need to feel in
all things lifestyle related in My opinion.

(in reply to kittean)

Post #: 37

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 3:33:10 PM

MizSuz

Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

This is probably the same person who will post (as a first post) a complaint that nobody responds to their inquiries.

You have the right to say no. You even have the right not to bother.

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to kittean)

Post #: 38

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 3:41:48 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

L M B A O! Your right Suz!

(in reply to MizSuz)

Post #: 39

RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 4:18:50 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

But i ask.. which is more rude?? to ignore an email from someone who took their valuable time to write... or to take a chance of bruising a fragile ego by saying "no thank you"? and does that small effort of returning a message really open a person up to a personal attack? Does it justify the behavior in private email or for that matter in open forum?

Rudeness comes in many forms. I have received emails BACK from others who told me I was not submissive, not slave material, a plain out bitch, too opionated, etc, etc, blah, blah , blah.

None of them had the right to respond in ways like that simply because I was polite enough to answer them back with a 'thankyou but I don't think we would make a good match'.

As for the comments that rough made, which is what I think you are referring to in the latter part of your comment...he attacked your weight, you went on the defensive...no one was coming down on him, we were just letting YOU know that you have no need to explain your weight to anyone.

(in reply to kittean)

Post #: 40

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