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RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 4:39:05 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
rudeness is a kink enjoyed by the devient on the unknowing

it loses its punch if one knows its comming and ignores it.

by making your very presance here on a alternate lifestyle
board as an adult in My opinion you have gave permisson
to other lifestylers that you accept and will tolerate their
nonconformist and alternate actions and ways just the
same as if you had walked into a dungeon where people
are there practicing their arts of nonconformity. Look
around, you wont find anything here in the dungeon on
your front porch stoop,nor anyone overly manneristic,
modest, or docile. JMO

Damn Mod11 Your tolerance is allmost just as stern as
the president. ( Is that concidered a flame? )


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 4:41:43 PM   
Nendarye


Posts: 147
Joined: 12/23/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

Let me set it straight so there is no attacking an innocent. Roughleather is not the person in question.


I was not attacking an innocent. My rude comment was in relation to his comments here on the forum.

quote:

But i ask.. which is more rude?? to ignore an email from someone who took their valuable time to write... or to take a chance of bruising a fragile ego by saying "no thank you"? and does that small effort of returning a message really open a person up to a personal attack? Does it justify the behavior in private email or for that matter in open forum


Hmm, and what tells you that they took valuable time out of their day to write an email? And, returning any email opens you up to any kind of response the person feels like making at that time. Nothing justifies rudeness of any kind, no matter where it happens to take place.

_____________________________

" You may be suffering, but you will always suffer with love"

@~~Proud property of Master Michael~~@

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 4:58:53 PM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittean

Now it has me wondering... am i wrong for having responded and telling him that i was not interested? i thought as a female i had a right to say no... am i wrong?



Maybe it is just me, but did you actually believe even for a moment that you did not have the right to say, “No, thanks”?

I find it hard to comprehend how a submissive would think they have to do whatever someone else says just because they call themselves a dominant. I can not even imagine the thought process that would lead me to the conclusion that I have to submit to everyone. I am a slave, but I am my Lord’s slave. It does not make me a slave to anyone else.

I am not trying to be disrespectful or rude. I just really don’t understand this perception at all and maybe someone can help me understand why I see so many who think this way or wonder if they did something wrong by saying “No”.


Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: When no means no.../MS Dread - 12/28/2005 5:14:28 PM   
shylittleheart


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		WELCOME BACK Ms Dread. wow Ive missed Your wisdom............. Happy New Year!!!!!!!!

_____________________________

life is a road we travel, how we travel it is up to us

(in reply to MistressDREAD)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: When no means no.../MS Dread - 12/28/2005 6:20:10 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
Why thankyou shylilheart.
Yanno Me an the Mods have this
endearing relationship with Our
foot and mouths. ~smiles~
We shall forever be entwinded
in a melodious rendition of the
twist. ~wink~

Happy Yappy Kwanzzaa Solstice and a Zipadeedoda 2006 Year to you too shylittleheart

(in reply to shylittleheart)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 7:42:47 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		GREETINGS LURKS
YOU HAVE EVERY RITE IN THE WORLD
when confronting someones predjudice or bias attitude; you cant get rid of them unfortunatley without confronting them ;dont let them get away with that b.s with you ...
having to confront or be confronted constantly is a hostile environment and is illegal
you have the rite to peaceful enjoyment
sometimes; some people dont deserve any kind of reply at all; esp the insulting( i dont like you )disrespectful types (trashing you attitudes),
if im being disrespected and abused by someone who is auful disrespectful to my image
calling me nuts or a bum ....or some,other nonsense; i walk
it's the ,"only cure ";
their problem;
stay,
and, it escalates,
to something worse,imagine me
the big slave
being clocked by a dumpy hostile ;who
kicks me and i cant cum?
ya you do it ....
no thankyou ,
and ,dinner was nice....
see ya.......
some one waits for me and its not this negation is the best thing to keep in mind when spelling out the facts to someone; who has to be read the riot act.;no disrespect, in return required.

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 12/28/2005 7:51:23 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 7:52:57 PM   
MasterHyde


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: caitlyn

Well ... one of three things just happened here:

a) We found out who the rude dominant was ...

b) We just witnessed message board suicide ...

c) Both a) & b)


caitlyn, you always have the best comments. LOL

Will you marry me?

_____________________________

Master Hyde
A self-righteous, poly, dominant, possessive control freak with strong paternal tendencies and a sadistic inner child

(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: When no means no... - 12/28/2005 8:32:50 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Slight change here.

As a male on this site I would like to personally thank you for responding to that man, (and all the others you have responded too!). You don't know how frustrating it is for guys to send out e-mails and never get a response. I don't mind a lady saying "No thanks" or whatever but I feel insulted when she can't even take the time to reply. Unfortunately, as LuckyA has said, there are a lot of rude people on the internet and not nearly enough pleasant ones. Even if the ladies would write a 'canned' reply in their word doc and have it ready to cut & paste to the e-mail for a reply. At least it's something.

Please continue to be courteous and polite. It's very pleasant to have people like you here with us.

_____________________________

Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly ! !

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: When no means no... - 12/29/2005 3:40:25 AM   
gbgirlz2003


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

But i ask.. which is more rude?? to ignore an email from someone who took their valuable time to write... or to take a chance of bruising a fragile ego by saying "no thank you"? and does that small effort of returning a message really open a person up to a personal attack? Does it justify the behavior in private email or for that matter in open forum?


I think it is more rude to ignore an email. I appreciate any kind of reply and I always respond to all emails. Sometimes my response is biting; "Did you not read my profile." is my most often used line in my response..lol.

I like to read profiles; it give me insight. It must be a female thing; because not many men bother to read....I think they just look at the pics. That is why I put my "chunky" pic up. It keeps the visually fixated horn dogs from emailing.

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: When no means no... - 12/29/2005 10:11:56 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		There's litterally tons of posts about rude emails an emails who never get anmy responce and stuff.

Don't let someone's cyber bull shit have so much power over you block delete and move on. Realize this is online and not every one has good manners.

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 12/29/2005 10:14:14 AM >

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: When no means no... - 12/29/2005 11:46:07 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
I think this is a very interesting question, which is essentially a question of dating etiquette. What are the ethics of termination, no, not interested, and I don't want to see you? This question of course permutates here on the internet and in the D/S realm. In the general realm, though, from what I hear the standard tack of rejection/termination/brush off is to disappear. There is no open conflict, no acrimony, no awkwardness for the terminator. The suitor, on the other hand, is left to wonder what happen and to decode the message of no response.

Where I am concerned, if I broke up with someone, I would give them word about it. At a minimum I would email, up from that a voicemail, and up from that a face to face. I would not leave calls unreturned until no more calls came (this is a different situation from yours, so I digress.)

In your case, IMO, you were very nice and responsive to respond with a no, not interested. I like this because it gives closure and it shows consideration too, that you took the effort to say something.

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: When no means no... - 12/30/2005 11:21:08 AM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHyde
caitlyn, you always have the best comments. LOL

Will you marry me?


Well ... anything is possible, but there are a few basic requirements.

First, you would have to be able to pay for about seven more years of college. You might want to price out graduate school at Rice U.

As a wife, I would certainly need an SUV. I think an H2 should do nicely. I like black.

Eating my cooking would instantly kill the union. Might want to plan on eating out every night.

I like to go out drinking and clubbing, which usually means you have to bribe my way in, at least for a few more years. A fifty dollar bill paperclipped to my drivers license usually works.

Now that I think about it ... this sounds awefully expensive, just to get smartass comments.

(in reply to MasterHyde)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: When no means no... - 12/30/2005 11:59:56 AM   
sudja


Posts: 155
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittean

I will admit.. i dont usually post things. I am a lurker by trade. But something happened today that i am having trouble dealling with. I thought i was being nice today when a man emailed me, and i took the time to respond versus just ignoring a message. Instead i got a rude response because i would not consider starting something with a person who is hundreds of miles from my home.

Now it has me wondering... am i wrong for having responded and telling him that i was not interested? i thought as a female i had a right to say no... am i wrong?


I don't think you're wrong for responding. You were polite. Sounds like the man was a jerk. But "hundreds of miles" is not that far away in today's world. You may want to expand your mental scope of where the "right" person might live.

If I had limited myself geogrphically I would not have ended up where I am now, with the One.

sudja

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: When no means no... - 12/30/2005 12:38:35 PM   
nelbot


Posts: 95
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline 		What a shame that your politness seems to have opened you to attack and thus makes you want to be impolite in the future. I try to answer every unsolicited email that I am unable to accept their invitation to communicate, it often seems to lead people to think that the door is open if only they are persistent but has rarely lead anyone to be crude or mean as a result, perhaps I have been fortunate. But just becuase you tried to be poloite you can not expect everyone to be, sadly. You can hypothesize that this person is angry or insecure and be thankful that you have the buffer of the block button to delete this person from your life and not have them infect your real life with their negativity. Shrug, block and move on, the karma train will roll over them in the end.

_____________________________

In life there are no winners, only saints and sinners
of pleasure and pain both have their gain for
what is a devil but an angel in bondage?

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: When no means no... - 12/30/2005 1:12:43 PM   
LadyKim


Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline 		You did what was polite. There are people out there who handle rejection by attacking the person that rejected them hoping it makes them feel better about themselves.

Just ignore it and him.

Good luck to you.
MzKim

(in reply to kittean)
Profile   Post #: 55
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