quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The only thing I would like to add is that just because you don't know there's any illness involved doesn't actually mean there isn't. Thyroid, depression, long term viruses like chronic fatigue, Epstein-Barr, toxoplasmosis, lupus don't manifest with any really obvious or easily identifiable physical symptoms.

That's why I said the first thing to do is get full physical and psychological screenings.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

First, I DID do a search on responsibility and only found a thread from 2007 that did not help with this question, hence:

In this question,
 
1. I refer to those who are  in a live in 24/ 7 relationship---though of course anyone's thoughts are appreciated
 
2. I refer to "promises" both kink and day to day life management stuff.
 
3. There are no extenuating circumstances such as job loss, illness, etc.
 
4. Conversations and promises to change out number consititutional amendments
 
We begin:
 
What does a submissive do when a Dominant has made promises/commitments and then stops doing them either out of the blue or over time? I elaborate:
 
 
*stops paying certain bills potentially impactful to sub
*stops providing access to outside activities
*stops any agreed upon "fetish or kink or lifestyle" activities
*stops making the home "habital"
*stops communications
*stops acting as a Dominant
 
Thoughts?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Perhaps the D wasn't really a D after all but tried to "pull one over"? 

quote:

ORIGINAL: urlittleprincess

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
Perhaps the D wasn't really a D after all but tried to "pull one over"? 

that very idea was posed to me over and over again about my own situation...but i had to follow my heart and find out for myself...and things, so far are going well...there is always hope if you know your own situation and know your own heart/gut...can't always listen to strangers who don't have the inside scoop...fact is, if we look deep enough, we usually have the answers within ourselves...i hope your sub-friends make the right decisions for themselves...

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

First, I DID do a search on responsibility and only found a thread from 2007 that did not help with this question, hence:

In this question,
 
1. I refer to those who are  in a live in 24/ 7 relationship---though of course anyone's thoughts are appreciated
 
2. I refer to "promises" both kink and day to day life management stuff.
 
3. There are no extenuating circumstances such as job loss, illness, etc.
 
4. Conversations and promises to change out number consititutional amendments
 
We begin:
 
What does a submissive do when a Dominant has made promises/commitments and then stops doing them either out of the blue or over time? I elaborate:
 
 
*stops paying certain bills potentially impactful to sub
*stops providing access to outside activities
*stops any agreed upon "fetish or kink or lifestyle" activities
*stops making the home "habital"
*stops communications
*stops acting as a Dominant
 
Thoughts?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

First, I DID do a search on responsibility and only found a thread from 2007 that did not help with this question, hence:

In this question,

1. I refer to those who are in a live in 24/ 7 relationship---though of course anyone's thoughts are appreciated

2. I refer to "promises" both kink and day to day life management stuff.

3. There are no extenuating circumstances such as job loss, illness, etc.

4. Conversations and promises to change out number consititutional amendments

We begin:

What does a submissive do when a Dominant has made promises/commitments and then stops doing them either out of the blue or over time? I elaborate:


*stops paying certain bills potentially impactful to sub
*stops providing access to outside activities
*stops any agreed upon "fetish or kink or lifestyle" activities
*stops making the home "habital"
*stops communications
*stops acting as a Dominant

Thoughts?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Not to disagree with the stiuation that you have set up for the hypothetical, but I would find the idea highly unlikely.  No matter who we are, there is almost something that is effecting our lives at any given time.  It isn't always things within the relationship, that effect the relationship.  Work, school, social situations, dead lines, financial pressures, rush hour traffic, and a hundred other things outside the door can effect what happens inside the door.  I generally call this the ripple effect, meaning various areas of our lives have an influence on other areas of our lives.  Of course, they can be either positive or negative, but in the type of decline you're looking at, I would have to say they would be negative.  There could be outside stresses that may not seem like a big enough deal in their own context, but are having an impact in some way.

There is also the physical and mental health to consider of the person.   I believe blushes mentioned depression.  That would be My next thought if no other outside issues are working their way in.  Serious changes in behavior are often linked to a decline in health.

As to your specific points:

*Stop paying the bills.  This could be due to a lack of financial stability or concern about future instability.  It could be that other matters have been taking up the time it would take to write the checks.  If the money's there, I don't see any reason why the s type couldn't offer to do the managing of check writing, and just bring the completed work to the D type for signatures.

*Providing access to outside activities.  Ok.  First of all, this would never happen in My world.  I can't wait for social opportunities and am usually the one who is craving to go out.  For people like Me, if this stops, that's a big sign there's something up.  Did a social situation go bad?  Are there certain places that the D doesn't want to go or certain people they don't want to be around?

*Stops kink activities.  Is this person wrestling with their enjoyment of these?  Some folks struggle with concepts like sadism at certain times.  Just My first thought.

*Stops making the home habital.  Is the home no longer a decent place to live?  For some reason is there a chore or a project that isn't being completed?  Is it something that only the D has the ability to do?  I need more here.

*Stops communication.  I would suggest the s initiate.  Ask some probing questions (maybe like the ones above).  Ask about other areas of life, and not what's just right in front.

*Stops acting as a Dominant.  On this one I'd have to say, after asking the probing questions, evaluate and assess.  Has the person changed as far as what type of relationship they want?  Is something not working?  Are they happy?  Have they allowed themselves to decline and just don't see it?

I'm sorry that your questions have only really made Me think of other questions.  Sometimes when we're looking for answers, additional questions are a good place to start.  

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Thoughts?

 
*it's over...the relationship is dead and it is time to move on.
*pack up the dogs and split.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

Thoughts?

 
*it's over...the relationship is dead and it is time to move on.
*pack up the dogs and split.