RE: Alcohol and BDSM (Full Version)

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daredevil865 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (12/31/2005 10:02:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Nendarye


quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist


quote:

ORIGINAL: daredevil865

IrishMist


so the thruth comes out..lol

DareDevil


Thank you... I am Irish so drinking is in the blood

DareDevil


LMAO so am I...but no drinking in this blood...I'm a tenderfoot when it comes to alchohol



/nods earnestly

I can vouch for that, Irish Girl can not hold her licquer (sp)...she does the funniest things






IrishMist -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (12/31/2005 10:24:22 PM)

LOL...I am going to have a long talk with that girl when I get past this flipping hangover I have




Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (12/31/2005 10:51:06 PM)

Im not sure about playing whilst under the influence of alcohol.
My Sir and i live together, and so the D/s dynamic is not bedroom only, as this is what works for us.
I notice, that when He has had a couple, he gets all, get me this, get me that. I start to trip up in my responses, and its a downward spiral. His Dominance, and 'out of control' behaviour, do not sit well together with my submission.
It makes it dreadfully hard to know 'how' to please, in those circumstance. And i am unable to submit willingly when alcohol is on board. It was causing me a issue. I took this to Him, so he's changed things.
Now i am relieved, that i do not have to submit to a person who has alcohol on board.
My parents rarely drank, but when they did, they got nasty. Seeing people alcohol affected, makes me uneasy.
When im uneasy, i cannot submit properly. Simple
Just thought id bring that perspective to the table.






daredevil865 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (12/31/2005 11:17:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1

Im not sure about playing whilst under the influence of alcohol.
My Sir and i live together, and so the D/s dynamic is not bedroom only, as this is what works for us.
I notice, that when He has had a couple, he gets all, get me this, get me that. I start to trip up in my responses, and its a downward spiral. His Dominance, and 'out of control' behaviour, do not sit well together with my submission.
It makes it dreadfully hard to know 'how' to please, in those circumstance. And i am unable to submit willingly when alcohol is on board. It was causing me a issue. I took this to Him, so he's changed things.
Now i am relieved, that i do not have to submit to a person who has alcohol on board.
My parents rarely drank, but when they did, they got nasty. Seeing people alcohol affected, makes me uneasy.
When im uneasy, i cannot submit properly. Simple
Just thought id bring that perspective to the table.






If you want to get serious.....Yes Never mix alcohol and BDSM......or is it alcohol and MDSB

DareDevil




Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (12/31/2005 11:25:00 PM)

"if you want to get serious, never mix bdsm and alcohol.
If you live 24/7, its 42 degrees, your gonna have your Sir come home and want a beer to cool down.
Its not just play, but day to day interactions that are affected.

Personally speaking, we've played far closer to the edge when we are relaxed by a couple of glasses of wine. Playing and alcohol, has as yet, not been a problem. But we play lots of power exchange games. In the head, then the body. And alcohol, can enhance things for me, and Him.
Though too much, and nature decides.




Morgaine289 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/1/2006 6:10:44 AM)

A very long time ago as i was between 16 and 18 i made some experiences concerning sex with or without Sm and alcohol. I decided not to mix the both. Especially because some people act totally different under the influence. For example i had a female friend, who was incredibly sexy for me, i never made a move, because i thought she was not interested in woman. On three occasions over the years we went out and she drank some alcohol, all tree times she tried to seduce me. All three times i declined.

I like my sex and my sm carthatic, tantric and with a clear mind.

I am not writing about one glas of wine, i mean more alcohol.




Phoenxx -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/1/2006 11:49:46 AM)

I rarely drink. About every 5 years or so I will take one night and get fall down shit faced drunk. Before I do, I make sure everything is set up so that my kids are taken care of, warn everyone what I’m doing and invite over a couple of people that I think need a damn good laugh. Because I’m damn funny when I’m like that.
Fawn enjoys a drink now and then. She has to ask first. And her limit is 3 drinks. That is based on experience. After 1 drink there is no play allowed. But after 6 ½ years I know her and she knows me.
Speaking as on of the DM’s at a fetish event held in a bar, we try to watch really carefully to prevent people that have had too much to drink from playing. And yes I have taken a flogger away from someone I think is too drunk. Do I think it’s a good idea to mix alcohol with BDSM? No I do not. But that doesn’t mean others can’t. If you want to go home and get plastered to enhance your experience… well I would recommend you watch Robin Williams Live on Broadway and hear his comments about snow boarding LOL.
However, if you need drugs of any kind to loosen up enough to play, I think there is a bigger issue. Like why you have to loosen up to begin with.
All in all it comes down to adults being adults. If will not play with anyone that cannot give valid consent, or that have in some way altered their ability to think or feel. I
And there is a difference between one beer or glass of wine in a night and drinking a magnum of Mad Dog Red Wine…
Know who your playing with. It's the safest way...
Tony




ImpGrrl -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/1/2006 4:20:48 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: topcat

quote:

I agree never mix drinking and playing..too easy to spill the drink when you are using a whip


You've never seen the Amazing MizSuz with a bottle in one hand and a bullhip in the other<g>.

Personally, I usually observe that if you can't handle your liquor, you can't handle SM either.

Stay warm,
Lawrence



Does that include the recovering alcoholics?

I think "handling liquor" and "handling SM" are vastly different.




sultryvoice -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/1/2006 4:59:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?

I've made it a hard limit..... though i must admit I failed to adhere to that limit one time... not to drink if i'm gonna play, or play if i've been drinking.
I also refuse to allow someone to top me if they've been drinking.
I just think reactions are slower, people aren't as observant, and are much less capable of controlling their movements where alcohol is involved.
However, i've seen some Dom/Dommes.... usually younger ones, consume a great deal of alcohol (I consider 6 beers in about two hours a great deal) and not hesitate to play.




Never, Never..will I let someone play with me that has either been drinking or taking any other thing that can cloud judgement. It is one of my biggest hard limits. If they have my well-being in their hands, they just better have all their wits about them. That would be like givng a drunk a car..a drunk a whip..judgement is off and horrible or deadly actions can occur.

Respectfully,
sultry




gbgirlz2003 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/2/2006 3:53:12 AM)

quote:

If you want to get serious.....Yes Never mix alcohol and BDSM


Sometimes I want to get serious; other times I just want to get spanked and fucked...a lot.

Like NYE in NYC. Wow what a party. Thank you Sir Saul and Master Jerry. And all the other men and women who used me until 4 AM...whew.




topcat -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/2/2006 5:48:29 AM)

quote:

I think "handling liquor" and "handling SM" are vastly different.


Midear Imp-

I think there might be some simailarites- both require self awareness, a sense of personal responsibilty, focus and will. I would point out that 'handling your liquor' involves being able to decide not to drink at all.

Of course, the prevelant twelve-stepper attitude, that the booze is in control, and the alcoholic powerless to resist it's evil allure, would give one a different veiw.

Stay warm,
Lawrence




ropesubby39 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/2/2006 11:45:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

Do you have a policy or a hard limit regarding the use of alcohol before or when playing/scening?
Do you play if you've been drinking?
Would you put yourself, as a sub or bottom, into the hands of someone who's been drinking? What about if you're the top/Dom/Master... do you play them if they've been drinking, even if you're totally sober?
And if you have any policy against this, why?

I've made it a hard limit..... though i must admit I failed to adhere to that limit one time... not to drink if i'm gonna play, or play if i've been drinking.
I also refuse to allow someone to top me if they've been drinking.
I just think reactions are slower, people aren't as observant, and are much less capable of controlling their movements where alcohol is involved.
However, i've seen some Dom/Dommes.... usually younger ones, consume a great deal of alcohol (I consider 6 beers in about two hours a great deal) and not hesitate to play.



I have had one experience a long time ago. I have played while the Dom and i were under the influence of alcohol and personally, it was a BIG mistake cause when i woke up the next morning, i was covered in bruises from head to toe.

Never again i will do this, but luckily my Master doesnt drink [:D]




redheadedfire4u -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/3/2006 3:24:41 AM)

I would not like to play drunk or with a drunk, I do not see a problem with a couple of drinks if both parties know each other and their tollerance and play is light. As a general rule I think play should be drug and drink free, should be enjoyed for what it is without artificial enhancements.

Booze and me are old friends, but it has not always been a good freindship. I tend to not know when to stop and can be very unpredictable when I drink. It caused me alot of trouble when I was younger. There are things I will do under the influence that I would never even consider sober, and that frightens me, espeacially where play is concerned.

These days I wil not drink unless I am in a safe zone with people I trust, my judgement with booze has proved to be questionable so I tend to only drink when I feel it is safe to do so. Now that I am with Sir I simply defer to His judgement, and if Sir says you have had enough I stop, Sir says do not drink at this or that venue, I do not. He knows my fears of working at the mines, 12hr shifts, 14 days straight in a fly in fly out roster, and we have discussed ways to make this easier for me, and one of His hard and fast rules is no drinking on the mine site.

It is important to recognise your own weaknesses and for me alcohol is one.

warm smiles to all




lilminx -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/3/2006 3:19:16 PM)

I hardly drink at all, maybe a couple beers here and there, but I don't think I would want to be drinking if I was going to be playing. The same goes with anyone whom I might play with. Though, it really comes down to how well I know the person, and how well they handle drinking.




plantlady64 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/3/2006 3:24:02 PM)

Hello There,
My rule is if you've had more than one drink an hour, or a total of more than two in an evening I'm not playing with you.
If by accident I didn't know you were drinking and I found out in the middle of a scene I would stop.
I personally don't drink. I would prefer play friends and Masters that don't drink.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne




HoosierScorpio -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/3/2006 5:38:20 PM)

I am not a drinker any way but you should not drink and play. Hard for the Person who is has been drinking to judge how much pain they can take also it thins the blood. When the blood is thin you will bruise more and if you get cut you will bleed more. If the Dominate is drunk he or her could really hurt some one. The only time alcohol should be use is during fire play or when some one is cut.




Wolf1020 -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/3/2006 8:07:32 PM)

To the origional question here are my thoughts-

There is drunk, sober, and countless levels inbetween.

There is a distict difference between a night out and a few drinks and being wasted (at least for me....different people have different views of a few drinks). Basicly you may not be truly sober but you aren't drunk either and still clear headed.

PLaying after drinking doesn't bother me depending on jsut how much someone has had to drink. A glass of wine or two at dinner is one thing, a six pack is another so really it goes to just how effected the person is. If they were drunk then no way no how, but the same would go if the person was dead tired and not thinking completly clearly. So long as your jugment isn't effected fine, if it is effected not fine.

That is more to the dominant, as to the sub there is a lot more leeway provided it is with a partner you know and trust and not with a new partner.




dsamethyst -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/5/2006 9:53:51 PM)

As a seldom drinker....I have an opinion...just like everyone else on the topic...

I do not play if i have been drinking...based on my personal physical reactions...I bruise like the dickens if i have ANY alcohol including nyquil in my body! I like bruises...but well not that much!

also...inregards to my Dominant drinking and driving a whip well....I use my own judgement...while im quite choosey as to whom i will play with...I am choosier as to thier status when playing....I have only been in one long term D/s relationship...and two short term D/s ones in none of those cases were alcohol even part of the equation... I never had an incidence where i was in the position to potentially play with anyone that had been drinking....granted for the most part i was an afternoon delight kind of lady LOL...but still..on those occassions where i did meet with the gentleman of the time they had always been in control of their composure...and i never had a doubt as to their ability to maintain their wits about them...

I was a lucky lass I suppose!




EriaeMelody -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/10/2006 3:35:12 PM)

Yep, sure do. I refuse to drink before play...if my partner wants a drink or two...that's fine, just so long as they can control themselves while under the influence.




MistressAlexaS -> RE: Alcohol and BDSM (1/18/2006 7:48:33 PM)

There will be NO scening/play if either party(ies) has been drinking or doing drugs PERIOD this is not open for negotiation as far as myself and my BF are concerned. We will not play with others who have been drinking or doing drugs.
These impair and alot of people boast Oh I can handle it, yeah sure and then someone gets hurt and they have the nerve to be shocked.
Safety should be everyone's number one priority.

~Alexa




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