Meeting a Dom

Meeting a Dom (Full Version)

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SunshineSunny -> Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 8:36:55 AM)
I have had experience a few times that I meet someone on collar me and we get it off so well .. and we are able to exchange .. our things and likes and sometimes it comes to the point that we do want .. to be with each other .. BUT .. yet I do feel that the first time when we meet .. we are just really meeting for the first time .. Why do Doms think that becuase you are doing so well on-line they already claim you and expect to have sex with you ..I am just getting to know the man that i have been talking to for a few weeks .. making sure he is real and safe to be with .. How do you arrange your first meeting and what happends when a Dom gets mad becuase you say no to SEX ... on the first meeting ...? Sunny

IrishMist -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 8:43:55 AM)
The first meeting is arranged to how YOU want it to be. As for the sex part; I don't deal with it at all. If I say no sex, then it's no sex. He can either accept that or walk the fuck away; makes difference to me. However, if he walks away...there are no second chances...he's history.

chamberqueen -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 9:25:53 AM)
You can always make it clear before the meeting that you expect no session to follow - that it is only a meeting similar to an interview. You are under no obligation to play.

SingleRarity -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 10:00:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SunshineSunny Why do Doms think that becuase you are doing so well on-line they already claim you and expect to have sex with you Do you mean doing well, as in getting to know one another platonically, or doing well at some kind of on line D/s dynamic? If you have a D/s dynamic going already, why would you not expect a Dom to think he couldn't continue that on into the first meeting. It's like cybering with someone for a few weeks, then meeting them for coffee and getting pissed when he comments on your cleavage. I'm not saying you can't do those activities online and still ask for the first meeting to be friends only, but if you're corresponding with a particular type of man then why expect him to suddenly change his demenour? If you're clear with who you are and what you want from the beginning then this kind of scenario wouldn't happen all that often. If you want a "get to know you" type of guy, the minute a potential Dom gets sexual, clearly state that's not what you're seeking at this time. If he doesn't get it move on. Daddy's Ballerina, e EDIT BECAUSE I READ YOUR PROFILE......... Umm. You expect a man you've never met to get you a rental car, give you gas money, and pay for dinner for your first "friend's only" meeting? Friends only, from what I've seen, is a casually meeting of two people who buy there own coffee. Expecting a man to drop hundreds of dollars on you right away, isn't something that the average joe is probably going to do. No wonder you're getting those types of guys! As sad as it is, by putting monetary stipulations on a first meet your cutting out alot of people and narrowing down your search to Sugar Daddy types. They usually expect something for their contribution.

OsideGirl -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 10:20:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chamberqueen You can always make it clear before the meeting that you expect no session to follow - that it is only a meeting similar to an interview. You are under no obligation to play. Which is exactly what I did. I made it perfectly clear there would be no sex or D/s until I was comfortable with it. I'm of the mind to think that it's worth waiting for. The second part of that is that I never engaged in any online or phone D/s. Our talk sessions were merely get to know you time. I felt it would be leading them to expect that I'd be willing to continue that D/s in real life once we met when that wasn't necessarily the case. Next if you're expecting guys to pay your expenses to meet you, then it's probably reasonable for them to expect some return on their money. Personally, I think that if the person is out of geographic area, then just decline rather than making demands like you do in profile. You come across as petulant and demanding.

parakeet89 -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 10:35:44 AM)
Yeah, I'm inclined to agree with SingleRarity and OsideGirl here. If a first meeting to you is like meeting someone for the first time (and honestly, I agree with that), then you should be able to pay for yourself. If you expect them to, obviously they're going to think it means something more to you. If you want to avoid those encounters, you have to change the way you approach them.

DesFIP -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 10:38:33 AM)
Tell him before you meet there won't be any sex or play. If he pushes you, then don't meet. If he agrees and pushes at the meet, then get up and leave. More importantly is if in your premeet chats you talked about anything other than sex? Talk about your vanilla life, ask for support on a difficult subject, ask his opinion of the funny noise your car is making. If he only wants to talk about sex, then don't meet him. He's shown you what he wants from the relationship, if it isn't what you want, then you aren't compatible and shouldn't meet.

lilgirl2008 -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 11:55:39 AM)
Just make it perfectly clear there will be no sex. I actually have a rule that there will be no sex or playing until after the fourth meeting. That is the rules I have set up for myself. If someone is intersted in me and thinks I am worth something, then they are willing to meet me four times without expecting sex. Until you are actually theirs, you get to set the rules for your own life.

SassySarijane -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:10:02 PM)
I don't meet someone for the first time unless I can pay my own way. Saves on the expectations for me to put out as payback for my way being paid. Maybe not meeting unless you can afford it would ease up on some of those with such expectations. As to the rest, you are not obligated in any way to have sex or play with someone on a first meet. I also do not submit online. I'm not one who can fully submit to someone I don't know and a person can be anything or anyone they choose to be online. I get to know them in person before I do any submitting and then only if there's the connection that I need to be able to let go, so anyone I knew online who expected sex and/or submission and obediance on a first meet is going to be very much out of luck. If that's expected, then I tell them it's not going to happen, why and then I move on with my life as after that it's usually not worth continuing communications in my experience and life is too short to put up with anymore stress and bs than you absolutely have to.

LaTigresse -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:17:57 PM)
You've got them expecting a paid booty call. Quit being a little princess and pay your own way. I will not pay for anyone to come visit me. If they come, they get here under their own power. They had better be prepared to pay for all their stuff, meals, hotel if applicable, and transportation. In return, I don't ask them for anything. No tribute........nothing. What they get, my time. What I get, their time.

KatyLied -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:46:58 PM)
quote: what happends when a Dom gets mad becuase you say no to SEX ... on the first meeting ...? You can't control another person's emotions. You can control how you react to his behavior. I know how I would react. I would probably say "next".

lronitulstahp -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:50:23 PM)
Umm...is it a bad sign that i actually felt a bit perturbed that my Dom *wouldn't* have sex on the first in person meet?[sm=angel.gif] ~phatslut in orlando

Lockit -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:52:04 PM)
Pouty dom's that don't get sex on a first meeting are most likely men who just want some fun who might think anger will prove their dominance to a submissive woman... because don't they fall for that macho stuff? But you know... enough lil bunnies do... looking for love... romantisizing and many other reasons... as long as some bunny falls for it, there will be guys playing it.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:53:31 PM)
Katy, here's a line from the OP's profile. SingleRarity has this nailed. I especially like the Freudian slip that the master is the property of the woman. you guys are Doms/ Masters and yet you expect for the woman you will be property of to be paying things for you LOL OMG .. where are the real Masters and Doms

KatyLied -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:55:59 PM)
Well, where are the real masters and doms? [:D]

RedMagic1 -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:57:44 PM)
Rent me a car and I'll Realdom you good, bay-bee!

KatyLied -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 1:59:54 PM)
I guess I have to pay for dinner too. Sheesh! [;)]

Lockit -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 2:00:05 PM)
ROFL... Let me know if that works Red!

PrincesaAshley -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 2:10:07 PM)
I was gonna say something nice about how the first meeting should go in a way both people are happy and if one person can't handle that (ie, wanting sex if the other doesn't) then just tell em to fuck off... Then I read this part how you expect a guy to shell all that money just to meet you. Paying for dinner, maybe. But a rental car AND gas? If that guy you met did all of that to meet you I think he was semi-entitled to expect some action. Emptying his bank account to just to say. lol

LaTigresse -> RE: Meeting a Dom (12/11/2008 2:22:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 Rent me a car and I'll Realdom you good, bay-bee! slut[:D]

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