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LadyPact -> RE: Judgmental/ Biased? (12/13/2008 6:37:40 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: trealeon
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyPact
One of the things that John (Rover) pointed out was the fact that not all judgments are negative. We hear the word judgment and automatically assume that it's not a positive thing. That's simply not the case.
Yes but the point he was making was about personal judgments. Judging someone trustworthy before you trust them with something and things like that. What I think people find offense with has nothing to do with personal judgments. If my friend has a history of losing things, then of course I'm not going to loan her my camera. That's my choice, my assessment of her personality and track record and it directly affects me and my life. Of course I have a right to make decisions that I think are best for me.
The argument against being judgmental is basically around something very specific. Someone posts something here, a question, a comment, a thought, and those that disagree, instead of just disagreeing, personally attack or reticule that person. I think that's different from the generic "judging" that people are defending. Of course we make judgments and assessments all day every day, that's how we function.
For me when it comes to a post on here, as long as that person's not attacking me on a personal level, I have no reason to attack them, even if I disagree or don't like whatever they're posting. I can post my counter point or disagreement without being insulting, snide, rude, or whatever.
While I agree that it isn't necessary to always be rude, you also have to look at the tone of how some posts are presented. Some people will automatically feel slighted, just because a number of folks will disagree with what they have to say. I just came from a thread where someone offered up a rather moronic method of dealing with a submissive. After a few responses telling the OP of that thread that the idea was a very emotionally unhealthy way to conduct a dynamic, the OP came back to say "excuse me for breathing." Personally, I thought the OP of that particular thread was a twit, and even without calling her so, I'm pretty sure My general opinion showed.
One thing that people here tend to forget is that this is a message board. When a question is posted that involves any relation to the reader to internalize it and reply from their opinion, they are going to reply with an answer that is created by their own personal influences. Their emotions, their experiences, their mood at the moment, and many other factors. If you hang out here on the boards a while, you're going to notice this come up especially in areas such as when questions are posted about situations where people think everything is acceptable just because someone poses a question to a bunch of kinky folks. Just wait for the next thread that comes along where a Dominant is having a problem with his submissive, but the background that comes with it is that he's lying and cheating on his wife. Would you suggest that everyone climb on the bandwagon and say that they feel it's perfectly ok, even though they feel morally different about the situation?
Every now and again, we get one of those lovely threads created by someone who thinks we should be a kinder and gentler group of folks on a message board. That we should openly accept everyone as they are and accept anything and everything that they are wanting to do. We should coddle every new person who stumbles onto the site, worry about their feelings alone, and condone every action and deed. I hate to disappoint anyone, but I highly doubt it's ever going to work that way.
I'll continue with My honest answers to honest questions. I'm willing to be there will be some judgment thrown in there, too. Just as you say that no one has to respond if they are going to judge an OP and just ignore the subject, that same OP has every right not to read what I say in My reply.
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