quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

I wanted to make another comment on breaking a rule on purpose. I know this is probably doesn't speak to the majority of submissives/slaves who are in a committed relationship, but because i am in a relationship without committment/ownership, somedays it is hard for me to not break a rule, because I can rationalize it as, you don't own me. When i get to feeling that way though, i know it is something deeper in me, usually the control issues, and I realize it has nothing to do with being owned or not.

oceanwynds

What control issues would they be?

agirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: swan70

i just did this.  i don't understand my own actions.  HELP!!!

Here are the specifics:

i WANT to lose weight.  i asked my Master for help.  He agreed.  He placed several requirements on me--one is that i am allowed only 1 diet soda a day. 

Today was rough.  I'm into my second day of sub drop.  my X is taking me back to court over support.  my X just trespassed into my home.  my X is really making my divorce difficult.  my X is refusing to supervise my children's schoolwork when they are with him.  ( i left my X for being abusive!)  my kids are with me today--and pushing some of my buttons.  

i had a diet soda at lunch.  THEN--today happened.  It was rough and i reached for another soda.   Before i opened it--i KNEW i shouldn't.  Did it anyway. 

WHY???   ((BTW--got caught by Master...and punished.  i feel like i failed Him.))