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Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 6:39:33 PM   
swan70


Posts: 47
Joined: 11/25/2008
Status: offline 		i just did this.  i don't understand my own actions.  HELP!!!

Here are the specifics:

i WANT to lose weight.  i asked my Master for help.  He agreed.  He placed several requirements on me--one is that i am allowed only 1 diet soda a day. 

Today was rough.  I'm into my second day of sub drop.  my X is taking me back to court over support.  my X just trespassed into my home.  my X is really making my divorce difficult.  my X is refusing to supervise my children's schoolwork when they are with him.  ( i left my X for being abusive!)  my kids are with me today--and pushing some of my buttons.  

i had a diet soda at lunch.  THEN--today happened.  It was rough and i reached for another soda.   Before i opened it--i KNEW i shouldn't.  Did it anyway. 

WHY???   ((BTW--got caught by Master...and punished.  i feel like i failed Him.))

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 6:52:41 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Rebellion (against master)?  Attemtped manipulation (of master)?  Only you can answer why you do what you do.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to swan70)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:01:29 PM   
elegantalexis


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Were you able to tell Master about the type of day you were having and unknowningly reached for that 2nd soda?

I know how Xs are...and having one stress you out so much that you grabbed the 2nd one as a part of relieving stress is a small break, but tis better than grabbing something with alcohol or illegal drugs to escape that stress.

Setbacks happens in dieting...like freezing weather when you want to go jogging or walking and its a crappy day.

Shahar

_____________________________

Subbies to 12 cats...

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:04:49 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		How long have you had this rule?  I would say it comes down to more body chemistry and esteem than anything.  Food control can be the most difficult out there.  I'm not downplaying the disobedience, but it's just a diet coke.  Use this as an opportunity to work WITH your master so you can become more secure and have more options and coping mechanisms next time down the road.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to elegantalexis)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:07:19 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Do not view it as failure view it as growth and lesson learned and do not repeat the lessons .You also have to want the help provided and honor it when given .Perhaps if you desired another soda communication would have been a better course of action  than what was done .Honesty goes much further .Maybe your would have had to of done some additional work out for your additional soda  and gotten it .Its not just a weakness diet moment that your doing , Now that your Master has become involved think of his efforts try'n to help you .
best wishes , yes it is tough  but the rewards are  and can be great .

(in reply to elegantalexis)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:12:04 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: swan70

i just did this.  i don't understand my own actions.  HELP!!!

Here are the specifics:

i WANT to lose weight.  i asked my Master for help.  He agreed.  He placed several requirements on me--one is that i am allowed only 1 diet soda a day. 

Today was rough.  I'm into my second day of sub drop.  my X is taking me back to court over support.  my X just trespassed into my home.  my X is really making my divorce difficult.  my X is refusing to supervise my children's schoolwork when they are with him.  ( i left my X for being abusive!)  my kids are with me today--and pushing some of my buttons.  

i had a diet soda at lunch.  THEN--today happened.  It was rough and i reached for another soda.   Before i opened it--i KNEW i shouldn't.  Did it anyway. 

WHY???   ((BTW--got caught by Master...and punished.  i feel like i failed Him.))




I guess now is not a good time to point out that diet sodas aren't very good for diets sooooo........

Accept your penance, learn your lesson, and make your Master proud from hence forth. 

Make it so #1.

Captain WinD

(in reply to swan70)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:17:56 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		Another hint  -switch to water , want another soda ,have a water .Most of us do not drink  enough water anyway  and often replace  our bodies water needs with  sodas and coffee .

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:20:46 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		My doctor and the dietitian I saw when I needed nutrition counseling said Diet soda's are just as bad for you if not worse than regular soda's they honestly are not a healthier option. All soda is bad for you. There was an article out in the newspaper about how people who drink tons of Soda's are at higher risk for diabetes and brittle bones.

If you really want to get somewhere with being healthier, I suggest bottles of water, and if you can't stand just plain old water, get some crystal light sugar free " on the go packets"

I drink about 5 or more  bottles of water a day just about every day ,  have made no changes to my diet or exercise levels and I have already lost 17 pounds.

quote:

ORIGINAL: swan70

i just did this.  i don't understand my own actions.  HELP!!!

Here are the specifics:

i WANT to lose weight.  i asked my Master for help.  He agreed.  He placed several requirements on me--one is that i am allowed only 1 diet soda a day. 

Today was rough.  I'm into my second day of sub drop.  my X is taking me back to court over support.  my X just trespassed into my home.  my X is really making my divorce difficult.  my X is refusing to supervise my children's schoolwork when they are with him.  ( i left my X for being abusive!)  my kids are with me today--and pushing some of my buttons.  

i had a diet soda at lunch.  THEN--today happened.  It was rough and i reached for another soda.   Before i opened it--i KNEW i shouldn't.  Did it anyway. 

WHY???   ((BTW--got caught by Master...and punished.  i feel like i failed Him.))



(in reply to swan70)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:24:43 PM   
elegantalexis


Posts: 237
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Besides, the sodium in diet sodas are crazy.  I am parched after a diet soda.  I have to drink at least 2 liters of water after a 20oz diet MD.

Shahar, who is dealing with her own diet soda withdrawals

_____________________________

Subbies to 12 cats...

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:42:44 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		elegant, I stay parched no matter what I do after drinking soda. Yesterday Daddy brought home fried chicken an it was greasy and spicy and I decided to have a soda, and I spent the entire night thirsty as hell. Also sodas give me horrible HORRIBLE indigestion, to the point where I am retching and my stomach is super gassy and I have to burp like 30 times.

I next to never drink soda's anyway. I prefer tea's and juices and plain old water.


quote:

ORIGINAL: elegantalexis

Besides, the sodium in diet sodas are crazy.  I am parched after a diet soda.  I have to drink at least 2 liters of water after a 20oz diet MD.

Shahar, who is dealing with her own diet soda withdrawals

(in reply to elegantalexis)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:50:15 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		Another alternative would be to be more lenient as long as you have your struggle with your X? When I started my deeper involvement with my prospective Master he also required to cut down chocolate and coke to one bar of chocolate per week and one coke per week...at first I was fine but I dropped into the habbit to find one excuse after another why to justify another one...he didnt like it and at some point disappeared into silence. Meanwhile we are back together again and are likely to move together next year and since we are back I am far more careful to disobey that rule. Nevertheless I had moments where I did slip due to Uni-stress, stress at work or due to my bad cold. He accepted it, wasn't happy, but accepted that in those moments I was not balanced enough to manage to stay strong. So I know that if something is disturbing for you, like your trouble with your X, then it just might not really be the right time to be that strict on you about that???

Also I barely drink coke anymore by now as i found "fruit shoot" for me as a replacement with very little sugar...can drink a hell of a lot from them in different flavours and still continue to loose weight.

I lost 23 lbs now since July and after being stuck for 2 weeks now with my cold I am looking forward now to continue my weightloss next week again...good luck

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 12/13/2008 7:51:51 PM >

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 7:57:58 PM   
avinyl


Posts: 50
Joined: 7/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

Also sodas give me horrible HORRIBLE indigestion, to the point where I am retching and my stomach is super gassy and I have to burp like 30 times.


That was so much more than I needed to know.

_____________________________

But...this goes to *eleven*.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 8:16:42 PM   
Timoty


Posts: 15
Joined: 11/1/2008
Status: offline 		I don't know if I'm "supposed" to attempt answers in this forum , or, not but here goes. I don't see your "offense" as being on purpose, nor, rebellious, nor, manipulation, nor, anything else other than a moment of weakness that you sucumbed to. As such, it cannot be ignored (especially since the issue being dealt with is your health). Some consequence must follow. Not to punish the person but to discourage future failures. I am a believer that the "punishment" should fit the crime. I would have, perhaps, told you that it is apparent that sodas in the house are too much of a temptation to you and they will be removed. This helps in several ways. you know there was a consequence for your moment of weakness. It eliminates the temptation. It provides a better source of fluids for a diet (i.e., water, etc.). And, it should demonstrate the care and concern I have for your well being.

Just My humble opinion, of course.

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 8:24:12 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Tough shit, it's a public forrum, If you can't handle information you may come across, close your computer and get offline 
quote:

ORIGINAL: avinyl

quote:

Also sodas give me horrible HORRIBLE indigestion, to the point where I am retching and my stomach is super gassy and I have to burp like 30 times.


That was so much more than I needed to know.

(in reply to avinyl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 8:28:02 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		leniency is good, but you really should stick to the plan I feel, because then you get used to  your plan and deviancy from the plan just ruins things. Well for me it does. For example, Daddy was making me bush my teeth twice a day every day, and when I went to New York, we couldn't always talk on the phone before ni ni* as we call it*  or in the mornings, the time difference and all, And our rutien got all shot to hell and never did pick up again.

I know I particularly struggle when I am allowed to deviate from the plan. I've seen it in this relationship, but most importantly I saw it in my first D/s relationship, where he was a softy and gave me to many chances, even after repeated mess ups of the same kind, and he didn't lay down the law, and we both suffered for it. Consistancy is pretty much key I feel.





quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower

Another alternative would be to be more lenient as long as you have your struggle with your X? When I started my deeper involvement with my prospective Master he also required to cut down chocolate and coke to one bar of chocolate per week and one coke per week...at first I was fine but I dropped into the habbit to find one excuse after another why to justify another one...he didnt like it and at some point disappeared into silence. Meanwhile we are back together again and are likely to move together next year and since we are back I am far more careful to disobey that rule. Nevertheless I had moments where I did slip due to Uni-stress, stress at work or due to my bad cold. He accepted it, wasn't happy, but accepted that in those moments I was not balanced enough to manage to stay strong. So I know that if something is disturbing for you, like your trouble with your X, then it just might not really be the right time to be that strict on you about that???

Also I barely drink coke anymore by now as i found "fruit shoot" for me as a replacement with very little sugar...can drink a hell of a lot from them in different flavours and still continue to loose weight.

I lost 23 lbs now since July and after being stuck for 2 weeks now with my cold I am looking forward now to continue my weightloss next week again...good luck

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 8:29:49 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Hi, Sawn70----
I've only read your OP and not everything else that's been said, sopardon any redundancies. 
Having watched a sub break rules purposefully, I interpreted it as attention-seeking and manipulation. 
Not saying that is your intent but it could be.  You had a highly stressful day: it's basic psychology that in attention-seeking behavior, a lot of times, kids act out negatively noticed and adults sometimes do the same things.  The manipulation could be to get a punishment that could pull your focus away from the other stressors. 
Certainly, I would advocate talking with your Dominant about these things and seeing what you discover, amongst yourselfs, within the context of your life and your relationship. 
Best wishes,
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 8:32:58 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I disagree.

If you do something full well knowing before hand you shouldn't do it and you do it anyway , it's clearly disobedience,  and it's clearly on purpose.


And I wouldn't worry about who should and shouldn't post in what section lol we all just post where we feel like it. The majority of us do anyway.

.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Timoty

I don't know if I'm "supposed" to attempt answers in this forum , or, not but here goes. I don't see your "offense" as being on purpose, nor, rebellious, nor, manipulation, nor, anything else other than a moment of weakness that you sucumbed to. As such, it cannot be ignored (especially since the issue being dealt with is your health). Some consequence must follow. Not to punish the person but to discourage future failures. I am a believer that the "punishment" should fit the crime. I would have, perhaps, told you that it is apparent that sodas in the house are too much of a temptation to you and they will be removed. This helps in several ways. you know there was a consequence for your moment of weakness. It eliminates the temptation. It provides a better source of fluids for a diet (i.e., water, etc.). And, it should demonstrate the care and concern I have for your well being.

Just My humble opinion, of course.

(in reply to Timoty)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 8:37:17 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		I feel for me personally that,  people do things they're not supposed to, because they care more about  their wishes and desires and what THEY personally want  above any of the Dominant's wishes and desires or what ever may be the right thing instead. Honestly.

And it applies to me too. Any time I've done something I clearly know better than doing, it's because I cared more about what I wanted than what was right or what my Dominant would of wanted. .


quote:

ORIGINAL: swan70



i had a diet soda at lunch.  THEN--today happened.  It was rough and i reached for another soda.   Before i opened it--i KNEW i shouldn't.  Did it anyway. 

WHY???  



(in reply to swan70)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 8:45:18 PM   
avinyl


Posts: 50
Joined: 7/13/2008
Status: offline
quote:

  Tough shit, it's a public forrum, If you can't handle information you may come across, close your computer and get offline 

quote:

ORIGINAL: avinyl



quote:

Also sodas give me horrible HORRIBLE indigestion, to the point where I am retching and my stomach is super gassy and I have to burp like 30 times.


That was so much more than I needed to know.






Huh. I feel *chastised* by a grownup now. Must go find a rock to crawl under to avoid further thread deviance.

eta: And from the sound of it, I'm not the one who had the tough shit...

< Message edited by avinyl -- 12/13/2008 8:47:36 PM >

_____________________________

But...this goes to *eleven*.

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Breaking a rule on purpose.....WHY??? - 12/13/2008 8:51:51 PM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		No, Indigestion isn't the same thing as a tough time shitting lol. That would be constipation.


quote:

ORIGINAL: avinyl


eta: And from the sound of it, I'm not the one who had the tough shit...


< Message edited by YourhandMyAss -- 12/13/2008 8:52:35 PM >

(in reply to avinyl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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