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what must i do to be owned? - 12/13/2008 7:32:14 PM   
unworthyhuman


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Being a slave for many years and have the experience that I have, why is it so hard for a Mistress to own me, want me? What must I do to convince them I am THE slave for them?
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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/13/2008 7:36:08 PM   
TreasureKY


Posts: 3032
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Be a worthy human.

(in reply to unworthyhuman)
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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/13/2008 7:41:29 PM   
E2Sweet


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quote:

ORIGINAL: unworthyhuman

Being a slave for many years and have the experience that I have, why is it so hard for a Mistress to own me, want me? What must I do to convince them I am THE slave for them?


I strongly believe the key to the puzzle lies within your last sentence.

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"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/13/2008 7:53:24 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
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Change your screen name. That whole "unworthy" bit really goes over badly with most Dommes, IMHO. We generally want someone with healthy self-esteem serving us. So if you don't feel good about yourself, begin doing whatever you need to do to change that.

And you might try getting slavekal's book.

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/13/2008 7:57:18 PM   
utopicus


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You don't have to do anything in particular, just be yourself - you'll be discovered when the time is right.

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/13/2008 8:02:02 PM   
AlexandraLynch


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Have you been applying to mistresses or sitting here on your ass and hoping someone will notice your perfection?

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/13/2008 8:06:58 PM   
angelwithhonor


Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
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...its like dating in the vanilla world, you may find someone you love and they dont return the  love. it wasnt meant to be for you two. and that can happen many times in your life. being owned is a bonding relationship between two ppl. allow it to happen on its own time and not fret over it so much

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/13/2008 9:06:34 PM   
AcademyForSlaves


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Hi.

The best way to get owned by a Mistress is to offer to SERVE her in what ever ways she wants. Ask her what she wants. Many slaves make the mistake of listing out ways they hope they can serve (their fetishes). What really attracts a Mistress is a unselfish slave who really wants to please her by doing what she wants.

Hope this helps.

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 6:21:23 AM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: unworthyhuman
Being a slave for many years and have the experience that I have, why is it so hard for a Mistress to own me, want me? What must I do to convince them I am THE slave for them?


Are you meeting women now and just not connecting, or are you having difficulty meeting them?  Not knowing where you are
with this it's hard to offer suggestions, but at first glance I'd have to say that i agree with E2Sweet - the key to the puzzle may be in that last sentence.  It suggests that you might be putting the cart before the horse.  You can't possibly convince a woman that you are the slave for her unless you know her very well.  We don't all want the same things.  What's perfect for me would suck for many of the other women here, and perfect for them might suck for me. 

If you're having trouble meeting them, stop trying to convince them that you're THE slave for them and work on convincing them that you're someone they'd like to go out to dinner with.  If you're having trouble connecting with them once you've met them, stop trying to convince her that you're THE slave for her and work on getting to know her and finding out with her whether you are the slave for her.

You had a mistress for quite a while.  How did you meet her?  What did you do to get her attention? 

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 6:49:37 AM   
CatdeMedici


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so sorry posted to wrong post.

< Message edited by CatdeMedici -- 12/14/2008 6:50:38 AM >


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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 6:58:03 AM   
ShiftedJewel


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I gotta add to list of those that say be worthy. If you don't see yourself as worthy... why should I?
 
Jewel

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 7:17:32 AM   
manxcat


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Ditto to all the responders



manxcat

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billion people to stone every night, staring fixedly,
that Siren which called and sang and promised so much and gave, after all, so little.
Ray Bradbury


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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 7:43:09 AM   
Madame4a


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From: Washington, DC area
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This is a universal question -- doesn't everyone, or most people want some kind of partner?

On a practical level -- it might be better to shoot for something a bit different before ownership.  To me, and maybe others, ownership is a really big step and commitment that I do not take lightly.  I don't wish to 'own' someone -- but rather to get to know people, if ownership is in the cards, we'll know but not right away.

On a more practical level, if this is your only outlet then you need to make it work for you.  Change your profile -- talk about who you are and what you really do have to offer someone.  You might keep the laundry list for the getting to know you portion of a relationship.  Put up a picture, one of  you smiling doing something you like -- skiing hiking... riding a bike.. or whatever it is you do when you're not thinking about ownership.  Show that you're a well rounded person and that you have a lot more going for you then wanting to be 'owned'.

And yes, change your name -- I am not interested in having someone unworthy in my life and I'd guess others might feel similarly.  You had better be worthy or you're not going to be good for anyone.

Get OUT and join a club or group in your area -- there's probably something -- help out, attend events, the vanilla ones too and get to know people, let them see that you ARE infact worthy.

I need coffee

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But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 7:59:08 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


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From: Chicago, IL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: unworthyhuman

What must I do to convince them I am THE slave for them?

perhaps change your screenname is a good start and be yourself.

you cannot force a Mistress to own you if there's no connection and/or chemistry.

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 8:39:36 AM   
Lockit


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I don't know about offering to serve her in any way.  I resent when someone who doesn't really want to serve, offers to serve in any way to get close to me so he can convince or manipulate me into seeing he is worth more.  (Added.. or even if he does wish to serve and uses service to get closer to me.)

It depends on what you want from an owner.  Do you want a relationship? What kind?  Do you want part time, full time, weekends only?  Get my point?  You have to find someone who fits your situation or one in which you both will be getting what you want. 

If it is all about service and not a romantic relationship... then serve away... but it might take more than trying to serve someone just to get close and a 'we'll see what happens'.  Ask how many guys served for a long time doing that and got no where.

Mostly... I will tell you what I tell everyone.  Live true to who you are.  If you don't know who you are... you might need to find out BEFORE you find a dominant.  Some evolve after finding a dominant, but it does help in most situations to have something to bring to the relationship and a worthless or lowly man typically doesn't get far with a lot of is. In fact, they often find those who will abuse and use them... for their... um... service.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 12/14/2008 8:40:47 AM >


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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 8:51:12 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

Madame4a wrote:
On a practical level -- it might be better to shoot for something a bit different before ownership.  To me, and maybe others, ownership is a really big step and commitment that I do not take lightly.  I don't wish to 'own' someone -- but rather to get to know people, if ownership is in the cards, we'll know but not right away.

Indeed.  It would look really weird if somebody posted asking why it's so hard to find somebody to marry.  For me, at least, asking why it's so hard to find an owner is a question on a similar level.

quote:

On a more practical level, if this is your only outlet then you need to make it work for you.  Change your profile -- talk about who you are and what you really do have to offer someone.

Agreed.  Your (unworthyhuman's) profile comes across to me as rather needy and desperate.  Mostly, it says, `I'll do anything you want, however you want me to do it.'  And, really, that's a strange thing to say.  On the one hand, isn't it obvious that the submissive does whatever his Mistress wants, especially if he's calling himself a slave?  On the other hand, surely this isn't true?  I bet there are all kinds of things you wouldn't do.  So isn't the point that you're really looking to be owned by somebody for whom you feel you'd do (almost) everything she might reasonably be expected to ask of you?  I think I'd at least consider anything that my Mistress asked of me but that's because I know her well and know what sorts of things she might ask for, not because I'm some sort of ubersub (untersub?) who'll take anything.

Also, are you sure about the female supremacy thing?  Every other movement in history that purports that one group of people is supreme over some other group has been pretty obnoxious.

quote:

You might keep the laundry list for the getting to know you portion of a relationship.

Or tick some of the checkboxes in the `interests' section of the profile (click the button at the top left of the `Edit profile' page) to give that information.  Maybe it's just me but listing things there seems like a normal and neutral way of letting people know what you're into, as a basis for judging compatibility, while listing them in the text part of your profile sounds more like you're making demands.

quote:

And yes, change your name -- I am not interested in having someone unworthy in my life and I'd guess others might feel similarly.  You had better be worthy or you're not going to be good for anyone.

Absolutely, change your name.  Speaking from the other end of the leash, I couldn't spend any time with somebody who thought I was worthless.  I want to be with, and am with, somebody who appreciates me and values me.

beeble

< Message edited by beeble -- 12/14/2008 9:16:18 AM >

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 9:06:36 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: unworthyhuman

Being a slave for many years and have the experience that I have, why is it so hard for a Mistress to own me, want me? What must I do to convince them I am THE slave for them?


You aren't "The slave" for them, a generic them, because neither you nor "them" are generic, you are each individuals.

You become a slave over time to someone who you work toward that goal with and you should work toward that goal with someone whom you have a lot in common with over many weeks, months or perhaps even years.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 9:21:23 AM   
beeble


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From: UK
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In related news, I tried to send a message to unworthyhuman about something I thought best not to raise in public.  ``User has blocked you, mail not sent.''  Obviously, he's not so interested in receiving advice.

beeble.

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 9:34:38 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: unworthyhuman

Being a slave for many years and have the experience that I have, why is it so hard for a Mistress to own me, want me? What must I do to convince them I am THE slave for them?


Dont try to convince someone you are the slave for them. When you are the slave for someone they will know and no convincing we be necessary.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: what must i do to be owned? - 12/14/2008 9:51:52 AM   
lusciouslips19


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quote:

ORIGINAL: beeble

In related news, I tried to send a message to unworthyhuman about something I thought best not to raise in public.  ``User has blocked you, mail not sent.''  Obviously, he's not so interested in receiving advice.

beeble.



Maybe all subs are blocked?

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 20
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