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RE: Respectful - 1/1/2006 4:17:51 PM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
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Yes I have in the past, and sometimes it was true. Respect is earned....by the Master and the slave.....you get what you deserve in my family......though respect is often shown in very different ways.

(in reply to MasculineDom)

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Post #: 21

RE: Respectful - 1/1/2006 4:48:33 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan

Now I'm wondering...regarding the original post...how respectful is it to bring a private matter to a public forum?

K

Agreed, not like any of us would have a clue who it was about until openly admitted.

I see that Jenny feels she was disrespected. That doesn't mean she WAS or that it was appropriate for her to just say so. My guess it that it was just a knee-jerk defensive manuever to shove the issue onto someone else rather than dealing with the underlying emotional issues.

Hopefully they've worked through this particular snag and next time she won't be as prone to knee-jerk.

And he will be more prone to sit down and talk with her rather than asking a random board for advice from a vague situation.

This is very good advice.... my girls and I talk about alot of things... and yes there is alot of greys in the Black and White roles that we want to label ourselves too... However, when issues are before us... we talk to each other and not take a knee jerk reaction to go to the boards and ask a question.. However, it is not uncommon as we work thru things to seek others thoughts on things... sometimes we agree sometimes we don't but it does give us another perspective. In the end... only we in the relationship understand the issues and not board posting is going to allow anyone to understand them. I would also add defensive behaviors... such as "you don't respect me" or "your not a submissive" are very destructive to a relationship's stability and need to be stopped!

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 22

RE: Respectful - 1/1/2006 6:43:46 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
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I feel a tear in my eye, partly from the joyful reunion (respect our subs, fellow doms!) and partly from TopinMich's pungent comment:

quote:

Now I'm wondering...regarding the original post...how respectful is it to bring a private matter to a public forum?

Not everyone's cup of tea, but I suppose they felt the need to do it. If it solved the problem, then I guess it worked!

(in reply to FTopinMichigan)

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Post #: 23

RE: Respectful - 1/1/2006 6:58:08 PM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

I have to agree that posting about private matters on the board ... makes me wonder why the need is there to have advice from strangers... but again it is up to each to decide what is right for them ....

I hope you talk things thru and get to the underlying issues here ...... and only you have all the facts ... .... good luck

(in reply to Petruchio)

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Post #: 24

RE: Respectful - 1/1/2006 7:19:27 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
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quote:

I have to agree that posting about private matters on the board

Uh, MissHarlet, part of your

private matters

are showing. (laughing)

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Post #: 25

RE: Respectful - 1/2/2006 2:06:25 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Uh, MissHarlet, part of your private matters are showing. (laughing)

giggling- it only looks that way Petruchio

since MsHarlet is my ExDomina and dearest friend in the world I can tell you She never shows any private matters in public. (still giggling) that was cute

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Post #: 26

RE: Respectful - 1/2/2006 5:52:24 AM

HoosierScorpio

Posts: 164
Status: offline

I would just talk with her and see what she feels you are doing that gives her the impression you do not respect her. The key to any bdsm relationships is open communication with each person. Have you thought having her do journals for they are a great way for her to express herself and allow her to open her self up more. Do you take her out as a reward for being a good sub or have you praise he for being a good girl. I enjoy getting or doing small things as a rewards to the ones who I play with or some times who are collared to me over the years. Some times this bother them but remember they must have rewards and praise for being devoted to you. When the dog does a good job do you not praise it for being a good boy and the pet is much happier. I know once sub I talk with and she feels her Master take her for granted too because he does not praise her. Have you guys been able to play any or much lately and if now what happen that keeps you guys from playing. Not playing and just have her do things with nothing showing her she is your sub. Have you taken her out for dinner as a reward or buy small flowers or get her that outfit that make her more appealing to you. Number one rule is open communication with in the lifestyle it is so easy being with some one for so long you feel you do not need to see how their emotional and mental state time to time. I know subs and slave are above our animals but please bare with me. If you treat the dog like a dog he will turn around and act like a dog and bite you on the ass. But you treat the dog like the family pet or member of the family he will show you love and devotions until it’s dyeing day no matter what happens. This is how I do things and it is my viewpoint Hoosier Scorpio

(in reply to MasculineDom)

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Post #: 27

RE: Respectful - 1/2/2006 6:42:22 AM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

uhhh private matters showing ...... mine ??? oh my !!!..... looking again ....nawwwwwwww only almost showing <EG>

(in reply to HoosierScorpio)

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Post #: 28

RE: Respectful - 1/2/2006 7:06:23 AM

DesertRat

Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

I feel a tear in my eye, partly from the joyful reunion (respect our subs, fellow doms!) and partly from TopinMich's pungent comment:

quote:

Now I'm wondering...regarding the original post...how respectful is it to bring a private matter to a public forum?

Not everyone's cup of tea, but I suppose they felt the need to do it. If it solved the problem, then I guess it worked!

Yeah, whatever works. My impression was that both parties were basically "proclaiming" something. In other words, the OP was more of an announcement than a question. Maybe making the spat public helped heal a rift. As long as everyone involved is satisfied, what else matters?

Bob

(in reply to Petruchio)

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Post #: 29

RE: Respectful - 1/2/2006 5:35:29 PM

MasculineDom

Posts: 8
Joined: 3/25/2005
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I'm wondering exactly what advice I asked for. I don't see any request for advice, from anyone, in my original post.

"Have any other Masters been told by his submissive that he doesn't treat her with respect? I was told this tonight, and it really bothered me as I respect her very much, as my submissive, as a mother to her children and as a working professional"

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan

Now I'm wondering...regarding the original post...how respectful is it to bring a private matter to a public forum?

K

Agreed, not like any of us would have a clue who it was about until openly admitted.

I see that Jenny feels she was disrespected. That doesn't mean she WAS or that it was appropriate for her to just say so. My guess it that it was just a knee-jerk defensive manuever to shove the issue onto someone else rather than dealing with the underlying emotional issues.

Hopefully they've worked through this particular snag and next time she won't be as prone to knee-jerk.

And he will be more prone to sit down and talk with her rather than asking a random board for advice from a vague situation.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 30

RE: Respectful - 1/2/2006 11:31:12 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
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quote:

I'm wondering exactly what advice I asked for. I don't see any request for advice, from anyone, in my original post.

Tch, tch, MD. We all know better than that! (chuckling)

Now KISS and MAKE UP!

(in reply to MasculineDom)

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Post #: 31

RE: Respectful - 1/3/2006 3:05:50 AM

FTopinMichigan

Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasculineDom

I'm wondering exactly what advice I asked for. I don't see any request for advice, from anyone, in my original post.

My answer to this particular remark is:

When someone posts a "question" and comment on a "Message" board, it's primarily to solicit answers and comments to that question/comment. That will include others' opinions, albeit ones you may not want to hear.

Or the alternative response, to the above post about "not asking" for "opinions":
You say two-mate-oh, I say two-mot-tow!

Message forums....got love them...and hate them! You open yourself up, whenever your post...WHAT ever you post. Sure, you didn't specifically use the word "opinion," but the question posed, surely solicites it, in this forum. I believe it's a given...if you post.