RE: Dommes how important are looks to you?

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 12/30/2005 1:50:45 PM

fastlane

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OMG

FTopinMichigan is towering above me.....I am in Hell!

LOL, I know you love me......down deep.....very deep.

Peace, kevin

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 12/30/2005 5:30:20 PM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

Dommes how important ar a subs looks to you? Subs how important are a Dommes looks to you?

Self confidence and self esteem are important to me, and that often goes hand-in-hand with "good looks" -- but that's all subjective anyway. The entire package has to be appealing, and personality can contribute a lot where traditional good looks may fall short.

What is important is charisma. I've never been attracted to submissives who postured themselves as weak, afraid, meager, or useless. I don't like slumped shoulders, sloppy appearance, mumbled sentences, lack of eye contact.

I also desire a man that takes care of himself -- good hygeine, good health and active lifestyle.

I found that many submissives who thought of themselves as "unattractive" somehow lumped that/merged that into their "submissive idenitity." It all meshed together into a persona of shyness, insecurity, uncertainty, need for direction, desire for a woman to take care of them/pursue them/command them. A lot of them weren't unattractive at all; however, their personality/self esteem led them to not want to make any effort to improve anything about their appearance. It's as if they preferred to stay in their "ugly" (their word, not mine) packaging because to walk with head held high would carry a price tag of accountability, self confidence, and a sense of command -- qualities that did not jive with their submissiveness (in their opinion).

With a simple "submissive makeover" (some new clothes, a hair cut, a shave, a smile) so many sub men I saw transformed into extremely hot properties. I had a fetish for taking young, insecure, overly shy guys and making them over and showing them that being submissive didn't mean they had to be a shy, boring wallflower too timid to approach a pretty woman.

Akasha

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 12/30/2005 6:11:48 PM

talmar

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That is good advise. I find a confident attitude can open alot of doors.

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 12/30/2005 11:15:15 PM

UtopianRanger

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quote:

The "polish" or glow that money can provide, is a real turnoff to me, and indicates that what is inside is probably as cardboard as the outside.

Just my opinion…. But the whole money aspect is way overblown unless you find someone {or they find you} that wants to be taken care of. ; }

In my experience, the people that are most apt to really put an importance on money, are those that don’t have money but are surrounded by those that do – HAR!!

Seriously though, look around ….You’ll find those that believe that they are just on the cusp of attainment, are the ones most worried about. That goes for themselves and others that surround them. And other than the fact that people that already have money in the first place want more, they’re usually not concerned with those that do or don’t. For them, acquiring wealth is singular objective and nothing else.

Anyways…. So much for money, Huh?

I agree with Akasha --- Charisma is the key. Can they read the room and react? I’ve seen guys from the south-side of tracks perform and do better than those with wealth or good looks, just because they have a lot of charisma. Oh… and by the way, it’s my belief that charisma is something that needs to be first seen before it is felt.

JMHO

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 12/31/2005 8:46:35 AM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: talmar

That is good advise. I find a confident attitude can open alot of doors.

And one can be confident and still be a submissive.

Fox was; its part of what attracted me to him.

And if folks can see that those two things can go together, I'd say their radar for scene orientation is off.

You can have confident in himself in terms of looks, intelligence, interests, ability to carry on a conversation and not be overbearing or aggressive. I think a lot of confidence is just knowing yourself and being yourself.

By the way, talmar, I just wanted to say that you seem like a very intelligent and lovely man. I'm so glad when you post to a thread or start one. Whatever local community you are part of (if you are) is lucky to have you with them.

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 12/31/2005 2:51:35 PM

MHOO314

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Looks mean nothing to Me, I start with likes, attitudes, then chemistry, however, for some reason I do prefer a sub who is taller, something about making a bigger man submit--< wicked grins>---mooowwaaahhhhhh

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 12/31/2005 5:04:25 PM

talmar

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Thank you Ma'am. I enjoy Your posts as well. I am trying to find a local scene here but it is almost non existant. I have played mainly in California. That is where most of my scene friends reside.

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 1/1/2006 5:05:46 PM

SweetDommes

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I live one of the best examples of not caring about looks every day of my life. My girlfriend and I are neither one particularly attracted to women - but we fell in love with each other, and more importantly, we love each other. If either of us was hung up on the body that the person we cared for was in, then I wouldn't have her next to me every night when I go to sleep and in the morning when I wake up. What is and always has been important to us is who the person is on the inside. We are going to avoid those who live with a cloud of smoke around their head - but that's a health issue ... and we will prefer those who keep themselves neat and clean - slobs are not welcome here - but beyond that, it doesn't matter. We have always looked for boys that we can talk to - ones that we are compatable with, rather than ones that we would have to gag just to be able to stand being around them.

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 1/2/2006 5:01:16 AM

FTopinMichigan

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Okay...last week, I was contacted by a man that is a DEAD RINGER for my brother. I actually had to double check the profile stats to be sure it wasn't him (maybe playing games with me) that's how much he looks like him. I'm thinking....that would NEVER work!

YUCK!

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 1/2/2006 6:58:30 AM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

Okay...last week, I was contacted by a man that is a DEAD RINGER for my brother. I actually had to double check the profile stats to be sure it wasn't him (maybe playing games with me) that's how much he looks like him. I'm thinking....that would NEVER work!

That's strange, because I wouldn't dislike a guy who looked like my family as I have some very good looking men in my family.

Yes looks matter to a point, but I have been known to fall in love with a man to whom I normally wouldn't give a second glance, because first I got to know his mind/humanity/gentleness. M

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 1/2/2006 8:54:24 AM

LadyHibiscus

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My mom has this thing called the "eye test"........ cover up the face except for the eyes, and see what the expression tells you. (in a normal pic, not something for a shoot). Does the smile hit the eyes? Are they friendly looking, or just big damn evil? This doesn't work 100% of the time, but often enough to count! I have really been taken aback by some folks' pictures---people that seem so nice in chat but have unkind eyes often turn out to have some less than desirable qualities once those true colors start flying!

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 1/2/2006 12:37:18 PM

subfever

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FTopinMichigan

Okay...last week, I was contacted by a man that is a DEAD RINGER for my brother. I actually had to double check the profile stats to be sure it wasn't him (maybe playing games with me) that's how much he looks like him. I'm thinking....that would NEVER work!

YUCK!

K

LOL ... I think I know how you felt!

About 10 years ago, just before I bought a PC, I did some personal ad dating through a local newspaper. These were all blind dates, of course.

One date I wound up meeting was a younger, but dead-ringer version of my ex-mother-in-law, who herself was a very attractive women only 10 years my senior.

The look on my face must have been quite a sight, for the first words out of my date's mouth were "What's wrong?"

Attractive or not, there was just no way that was going to work!

edited for typo

< Message edited by subfever -- 1/2/2006 12:39:02 PM >

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RE: Dommes how important are looks to you? - 1/2/2006 2:35:37 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

Does the smile hit the eyes? Are they friendly looking, or just big damn evil? This doesn't work 100% of the time, but often enough to count! I have really been taken aback by some folks' pictures---people that seem so nice in chat but have unkind eyes often turn out to have some less than desirable qualities once those true colors start flying!

Thanks, that is interesting, and something I will keep in mind for future reference. M

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