Gender label

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KaylaBound -> Gender label (12/15/2008 6:43:18 PM)
Hello to all, I am curious, it seems that every male crossdresser, transvestite, and the likes are allowed to use the term 'transgendered' This only distracts from the true transgendered and hampers our search. Should those who are not true transgendered be required to use there actuall gender on collarme? Also, if this is to continue shouldnt the true transgendered be allowed to use their saught gender on their profile? I know that this will cause banter, what defines gender? that is not my question though. We will all have our own ideas... If so, at what point should I, a pre opp transgendered person be allowed to change my profile. Bare in mind this only applies to true transgendered... Kayla

yourMissTress -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 6:48:31 PM)
Well, hmmm, does that mean people will have to submit some kind of proof of their biological sex? And how does a "true" transgendered person prove their "trueness" as opposed to a "fake" transgendered person?

aravain -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 6:51:44 PM)
Personally I would advocate for seperate sex and gender fields, though others will say that it's untruthful at best because then a post-op will have matching fields and some people just don't want non-biological partners. It would make more sense for me at least... but that's hardly a good enough reason to universalize it :) sex: Male gender: Both/Neither shrug

squirrelfury -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 6:52:36 PM)
Before this continues, what are we using as the functional definitons, so people don't mix their trans-states up? I'm proposing these, ripped from dictionary.com: transgender: –noun 1. a person appearing or attempting to be a member of the opposite sex, as a transsexual or habitual cross-dresser. –adjective Also, *trans⋅gen⋅dered.* 2. being, pertaining to, or characteristic of a transgender or transgenders: the transgender movement. transsexual: –noun 1. a person having a strong desire to assume the physical characteristics and gender role of the opposite sex. 2. a person who has undergone hormone treatment and surgery to attain the physical characteristics of the opposite sex.–adjective 3. of, pertaining to, or characteristic of transsexuals. transvestite: –noun a person, esp. a male, who assumes the dress and manner usually associated with the opposite sex. If your definition differs, please enlighten.

aravain -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 6:55:18 PM)
The psychiatric definition is different, I believe. I know that I'm considered to be 'Transgendered' despite the fact that I'm intergendered (which is the psychological equivalent of being intersexed) and not interested in permanantly changing my physical appearance or sex. EDIT TO ADD: Transsexual would mean, of course, anyone who is post or mid operation to change their biological sex. Pre-ops would still be transgendered, in my understanding.

elegantalexis -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 6:56:12 PM)
Define transgendered. Alexis is pre-op still has to live as a male, yet I call her what she truly feels that she is...a female. When we relocate to TN (Heading your way, MissTress! I like knifeplay...), we will begin the process of transformation. Alexis will always be "she" to me and to Sir and Mistress. Shahar P.S. Alexis does suffer from G.I.D.

Aszhrae -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 6:59:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaylaBound Hello to all, I am curious, it seems that every male crossdresser, transvestite, and the likes are allowed to use the term 'transgendered' This only distracts from the true transgendered and hampers our search. Should those who are not true transgendered be required to use there actuall gender on collarme? Are you male or are you female, in mind, mannerism and spirit then that is your gender, plain and simple. Well maybe not so much simple. Girl is preop and you will find girl in the woman's section and listed as lesbian. There are others as well and if you wait long enough, you might read their replies here to your thread. Also, if this is to continue shouldnt the true transgendered be allowed to use their saught gender on their profile? You are female by your pic, be female. I know that this will cause banter, what defines gender? You define who you are and eventually others will too, once they come to know you. that is not my question though. We will all have our own ideas... If so, at what point should I, a pre opp transgendered person be allowed to change my profile. Bare in mind this only applies to true transgendered... If you are female to be Kayla, by all means why be hesitant? So much goes on here within this community that the best thing girl can suggest as everyone has suggested to me, is be yourself. Someone will notice you, contact you, be friends with you, admirers of you and even make first contact if your goal is to be sub/slave or dom/me. Just be your self. Kayla

squirrelfury -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 6:59:35 PM)
grins "Intersexed" is a term that's new to me, as is "intergendered". I know this may be an easy way to slip into misunderstanding, so if you would define both, I'd be grateful. beams Also, good call on dictionary vs. psychiatric definitions, I hadn't considered the differences the two might show.

beargonewild -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:02:29 PM)
I feel that how you honestly identify yourself is what you should have in your profile. For the most part, most of us here will identify you according to how you want to be identified as thus will avoid using the incorrect pronoun in reference to your person. Being that it's your profile, then you can put down what ever you decide. If I may ask, what do you classify as a "true TG person?" As for myself I have a few close friends and a non biological sister who is transgendered. The first time I met her, she introduced herself as Denise, at that point I had no idea if she was pre or post OP and that wasn't a concern at all. What was most important was the fact that I saw a woman who became my dear friend and still is. This also applies to another poster here who I have great admiration for and she identifies as TG. I do not give a damn if she is pre or post OP as it doesn't matter. All that matters is she is a good person, intelligent and a person who I would love to meet someday and maybe have a good real time friendship with.

aravain -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:06:57 PM)
Wikipedia is your friend :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intersexuality (yup, this is where Hermaphroditism comes from :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genderqueer (genderqueer is another term for intergendered, it's really a blanket term for many type of gender identity differences) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender (In modern day it's used as a blanket term, at least in non-clinical use, to cover EVERYTHING. My psychiatrist has also used it similarly in defining myself)

MISTRESSKUMA -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:13:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaylaBound Hello to all, I am curious, it seems that every male crossdresser, transvestite, and the likes are allowed to use the term 'transgendered' This only distracts from the true transgendered and hampers our search. Should those who are not true transgendered be required to use there actuall gender on collarme? Also, if this is to continue shouldnt the true transgendered be allowed to use their saught gender on their profile? I know that this will cause banter, what defines gender? that is not my question though. We will all have our own ideas... If so, at what point should I, a pre opp transgendered person be allowed to change my profile. Bare in mind this only applies to true transgendered... Kayla What does a man who only likes pussy label himself as if men who like to suck a little bit of cock or fuck another guy if the opportunity comes along also call themselves straight? Straight no longer means straight anymore. Look at the porn ads saying, "Straight men who like cock." Uh, so what do they call the men who only like pussy?

Aszhrae -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:13:56 PM)
Too much emphasis is placed on labels. You are this or you are that. They are this and they are that. We are this and we are that. Damnit. Must this always come up. Girl touched on this with Authentication. Girl is inter- with an extra X, yay. Life living through hell. Classify. Specify. Verify. Authenticate. Identify. Kayla if you have lived and always believed your self as being female and you are awaiting SRS. You are female in mind, manner and spirit. So what if you have something extra, you will not have it for long and soon you will be able to live right with your self as you always should have been. http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m1.gif

E2Sweet -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:19:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaylaBound ...I am curious, it seems that every male crossdresser, transvestite, and the likes are allowed to use the term 'transgendered'... Ain't freedom grand?! [;)] Seriously though, I believe there are no options for cross-dresser nor transvestite in the profile creation section. After this I'm gonna go look to be sure I'm not lying to you here. quote: ...This only distracts from the true transgendered and hampers our search... How does the information some other person includes in his or her profile hamper your search for whomever you're searching for? quote: ...Should those who are not true transgendered be required to use there actuall gender on collarme?... How do you wish to judge who is actually transgendered and who isn't? Who'll be doing the judging? Who will be doing the enforcement of this new rule? How will the enforcement be carried out? The big question here is who will set the broken nose of the person sent to my house to look inside my pants? [:D] quote: ...Also, if this is to continue shouldnt the true transgendered be allowed to use their saught gender on their profile?... I don't see why you can't put in your profile whatever you want. I did. quote: ...Bare in mind this only applies to true transgendered... Can you define true transgendered as opposed to untrue?

aravain -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:25:12 PM)
I agree that labelling is a problem Aszhrae, but like it or not it IS an important part of how human beings do things. I wear my labels with pride, but I also make sure people know and understand that I'm willing to put them aside or away if something changes. That's how it is. Labels shouldn't be considered permanent, even when they turn out to be. I'm a gay man... by that I mean that I want a relationship with a man (whereas I would use homosexual to denote the fact that I have sex exclusively with other men). It's a label that I use to describe what I am (a homosexual who ALSO wants a relationship with a man) and I use it at my own hazard of having attachements to the term that I don't agree with being applied to me. EDIT TO ADD: If you don't want to use labels, that's fine... but be prepared to not be accepted by a majority of humanity. Part of our culture is steeped within labeling ourselves... and being labeled by others.

beargonewild -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:26:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MISTRESSKUMA Straight no longer means straight anymore. Look at the porn ads saying, "Straight men who like cock." Uh, so what do they call the men who only like pussy? Confused???? hahahahahahaha

VioletGray -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:26:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KaylaBound Hello to all, I am curious, it seems that every male crossdresser, transvestite, and the likes are allowed to use the term 'transgendered' This only distracts from the true transgendered and hampers our search. Should those who are not true transgendered be required to use there actuall gender on collarme? Also, if this is to continue shouldnt the true transgendered be allowed to use their saught gender on their profile? I know that this will cause banter, what defines gender? that is not my question though. We will all have our own ideas... If so, at what point should I, a pre opp transgendered person be allowed to change my profile. Bare in mind this only applies to true transgendered... Kayla It has always been my understanding that 'transgendered' was a catch-all term for those who in some why or another cross the gender line. It's like describing sharks, stingrays, eels, and puffers under the term 'fish.' Sure they are all quite different but they do have a few things in common. Here's something else to consider... Our kinks and sexual preferences don't have to be politically correct. People have every right to be turned off by transgendered people if that isn't what floats their boat. So I think having 'trans' as an option if you are transgendered is a good thing because it can save a lot of drama. If you're just looking for friends that's one thing, but in an erotic context such as bdsm, the other person has every right to know.

E2Sweet -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:26:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: beargonewild I feel that how you honestly identify yourself is what you should have in your profile. For the most part, most of us here will identify you according to how you want to be identified as thus will avoid using the incorrect pronoun in reference to your person. This sounds great to me. [:)] Dear CollarMe, please add "Happily Mish-Mashed" to the list of options for the "Gender" field within the profiles section of the website. "Content to Remain Confused" and "Sexological Shapeshifter" are also workable options for me. Thanks! [:D]

beargonewild -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:29:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: aravain I agree that labelling is a problem Aszhrae, but like it or not it IS an important part of how human beings do things. I wear my labels with pride, but I also make sure people know and understand that I'm willing to put them aside or away if something changes. That's how it is. Labels shouldn't be considered permanent, even when they turn out to be. I'm a gay man... by that I mean that I want a relationship with a man (whereas I would use homosexual to denote the fact that I have sex exclusively with other men). It's a label that I use to describe what I am (a homosexual who ALSO wants a relationship with a man) and I use it at my own hazard of having attachments to the term that I don't agree with being applied to me. Which is close to how I feel about labels and their application. My feeling is I don't care how many labels anyone else tacks on me, all that matters are the labels that I accept for myself. It's the labels we accept for ourselves that have validation, not what others perceive.

Aszhrae -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:34:56 PM)
Which is close to how I feel about labels and their application. My feeling is I don't care how many labels anyone else tacks on me, all that matters are the labels that I accept for myself. It's the labels we accept for ourselves that have validation, not what others perceive. Thank you 'beargonewild' [:)]

beargonewild -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 7:40:28 PM)
You're quite welcome Aszhrae

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