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pinnipedster -> RE: Gender label (12/15/2008 8:43:13 PM)
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Definitions changed over time. Back in the 80's, I adopted the word "transgendered" for myself to distinguish myself from being a transvestite. The classic definition of transvestite is one who is sexually aroused by dressing as the opposite sex. While there has always been a sexual side to my cross-dressing, I always felt it went beyond that, to some identification with women, to wanting to be seen as one and accepted as one when I did so (whereas some transvestites, at least, don't really identify with the other gender, they just like wearing their clothes); on the other hand, I've never really felt that going through sex reassignment was the right path for me, so I never defined myself as a transsexual.
Over the years, however, I eventually found that if I labeled myself as transgendered, many if not most in the gender community would assume I lived as a woman full-time, and was planning a permanent change, with or without surgery; I think the word has come to represent that by and large, and the word "transsexual" has fallen into disfavor. So as to not give people the wrong impression, I now tend to stick with cross-dresser. (Though when I do searches here, I will sometimes look for women who are interested in transgendered subs in addition to males, as I realize not everyone uses the same definitions, and I *do* want someone who would accept my feminine side.)
Just lately I have discovered the term "autogynephile" -- this is a term used by some with a rather controversial view of gender identity disorder, one largely rejected in the transgender community; and while I think the theory on the whole is at least incomplete, I have to say the characteristics ascribed to autogynephiles fit me more closely than any other model with which I am familiar.
My own frustration comes from the fact that there just seem to be rather few women looking for someone in my particular category, as far as I can tell....
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