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Proper way to introduce your self in a public play sett... - 12/15/2008 7:38:30 PM   
needstheOne


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		What are the most memorable and most despised ways subs have tried to introduce themselves to you in a public play setting?

I am hoping to find a good way to approach a Lady in a public Play setting in the near future and would like to know the least offensive way to do it.

< Message edited by needstheOne -- 12/15/2008 7:39:44 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 7:41:44 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		"hello, pleased to meet you, I am <insert your name here>."

works great for me.

< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 12/15/2008 7:42:06 PM >

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to needstheOne)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 7:44:49 PM   
needstheOne


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		Ok that might work.  LOL  so just introducing yourself does work?  cool:)

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 7:47:27 PM   
UmbraDomina


Posts: 491
Joined: 7/22/2008
From: SE Michigan
Status: offline 		This is from my journal ............ It might help :)

how to met and grow into a releationship with a female dominant.

First and foremost, be realistic... ..Chances are the dominant lady whom you meet will NOT look like the ones in the magazines, just like in vanilla life not everyone looks like they fell out of playboy. Dominant females come in all shapes, sizes, ages and colors. Don't assume that every female dominant out their will match with your interests, or desires. Don't assume she will have a full leather and latex wardrobe to slink around in for you, or a well stocked dungeon with mood lighting, Dominant females are normal people with normal lives, they have jobs, families, and friends. Also.... just becouse you state "hey I am a male sub looking" don't think you will be flooded with offers from ladies jumping at the chance to be with you. You have to earn their attention.
Now, how do your earn their attention? well, be a gentleman, be polite, be interesting, be clean and neat, no woman wants to be in the company of a rude, boorish, smelly guy. You see a lady at a event, ask someone you know if they know her and can introduce you to her, approuch her and BE POLITE, do not call her mistress, do not kneel at her feet and say I want to be your slave. Tell her you admired her skill, or her hair or her eyes, or such from across the room and you wanted to met her. If she is at a table, ask to join her (do not assume it is ok to park your tush down and start babbling). Ask her questions about herself, so you can learn about her. Do not make it like a interrigation or a interview. Do not blather on about what you want her to do to you. Find out if she is perhaps seeking someone..... if she is keep talking..... . if not do not just bolt and run, be polite, be nice, perhaps she knows someone who is and if your nice she might tell them about you. Oh yes, and be HONEST. If she is seeking someone, make your self desirable with out being slimey, ask her if she would care for a soda or a water, go get it.....make her see you could be useful in her life. Chat with her, find out some of her interests ( not just S&M) if you are still interested and so is she, ask her if she would care to join you for coffee/lunch/ dinner, if she says yes, offer her your phone number.
So does alot of this sound familiar? kind of like dating in the vanilla world? thats becouse it is, if you are looking for a realationship, not just a quick play partner, it is very much the same.

_____________________________

Alexandra ~

~~ And I will show you something different from either your shadow at morning striding behind you Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust..... T.S. Elliot ~~

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 7:56:36 PM   
needstheOne


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		  Thisdoes sound a lot like dating...But you see I haven't done that since the mid 90's so a little rust on that too. 

On the looks issue.  Well I have had the beautiful ones on the outside and they always seem to have ice on the inside.  So am not looking for beauty this time looking for the one that looks like she is a kind person along with a mean ass Bitch with a whip:)  So this is interesting. 

Glad I asked for I was going to get a soda and bring it to her and drop to one knee and wait till she either took it or dismissed me.

< Message edited by needstheOne -- 12/15/2008 8:08:55 PM >

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 8:54:28 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		The "Hello, my name is BLANK, it's nice to meet you" method works best, in my opinion. As long as you're being respectful it should work, unless the woman is uptight and demands "protocol " or whatever.

From my experience being polite and respectful are sure fire wins. Not saying it will get you play, she might be busy or just not interested, at the very least you may get a conversation or the chance to leave a positive impression on her.

Though the dropping to one knee idea does sound cute...but then what if you bring the wrong soda? I guess you end up being spanked. lol

(in reply to needstheOne)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 9:04:00 PM   
squirrelfury


Posts: 44
Joined: 8/20/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

The "Hello, my name is BLANK, it's nice to meet you"



Just don't follow it with, "You killed my father.  Prepare to die." 

More seriously, I've found that if you're unsure how to introduce yourself, a good way to get an introduction is simply ask someone who is familiar with both of you, and is presumably on friendly terms with the person you'd like to meet, to make the introductions.  Assuming you have a good reputation in your local group, being introduced by a shared acquaintance can be a less agaonizing way to go about meeting new people.

(originally edited for daft spelling, now re-edited because I didn't realize this linked to the Ask A Mistress area...sorry *sheepish smile*)

< Message edited by squirrelfury -- 12/15/2008 9:06:52 PM >

_____________________________

~Squirrel~
I wept for I had no shoes, then I met the bastard who took them. Who's crying *now*, fetish-boy?

From a word to a word I was led to a word, from a deed to another deed.

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 9:06:15 PM   
needstheOne


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		This is so true and any Domme who would spank a person that is into BDSM  as punishment  well that would just seem to me in MHO as rewarding bad behavior.

Oh and you somehow find out what she is drinking before you do that.

not looking for play.  Looking for a good conversation is all and a conection as a friend.



(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 9:09:12 PM   
needstheOne


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		That whould be a real bad thing to say SQ.  Funny but bad.  The thing is I have no in the scene friends down here yet.  Though I have found a munch that is close we are in the wrong part of the state  for the outings.  Hopefully they have a solution to that too:)

(in reply to squirrelfury)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/15/2008 9:13:53 PM   
needstheOne


Posts: 44
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline 		don't mean to be a brat here but you all missed the top part of the question.  The most memorable introduction and the worst introduction.  It is fun to here them too:)



(in reply to needstheOne)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/16/2008 4:26:11 AM   
ShiftedJewel


Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Ok, I'll bite. (Not really, I'm not into biting) But we were at a munch one time and this other couple (notorious for being really strange anyway) was there, the female, who we knew to be his sub, came up to me and said "Hi, I'm a domme. Do I intimidate you?" It was funny because she was serious!! I looked at her and said "I've only been intimidated by a couple of people in my lifetime and you aren't one of them".
 
I also agree with the "Hi, my name is _____" thing. But I'll add that someplace along the line you need to find a subtle way to infer that you are a sub/slave type person. Don't leave her guessing if you are a friendly fellow dominant type or what? Things like "My former Mistress loved sunbathing too" if it fits into the conversation will let her know that not only are you a sub/slave type, but available as well. But keep it subtle. I've been in situations where I didn't know whether or not he was a sub and if he was whether or not he was single... it sucks.
 
Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to needstheOne)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/16/2008 4:55:32 AM   
beeble


Posts: 799
Joined: 5/25/2005
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

needstheOne wrote:
Glad I asked for I was going to get a soda and bring it to her and drop to one knee and wait till she either took it or dismissed me.

A definite no.  If she wants you to submit to her, she'll ask you about it.  Both parties need to consent to any kind of play.

You say you're just looking for conversation and friends so approach them just as you would anyone else.  Say hello and be yourself.  Don't assume she wants to talk about her sex life (or yours) just because you know she has one.

beeble.

(in reply to needstheOne)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/16/2008 7:13:03 AM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Don't stand in the corner and watch her all night. 

_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to beeble)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/16/2008 7:40:35 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		 Worst, yet most hilarious approach:  man comes up to me at a party and says, "Would you like me to slap you around a little?

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/16/2008 8:11:54 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		Best one:
"Hi, I'm X. I've read your book/story (insert name) and I really liked it. I just wanted you to know that your writing is appreciated."

Worse one:
"May I worship your boots?" (when told "no" he turned to my companion, a submissive woman and asked me) "May I worship hers?"

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to needstheOne)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/16/2008 9:41:04 AM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UmbraDomina

This is from my journal ............ It might help :)

how to met and grow into a releationship with a female dominant.

First and foremost, be realistic... ..Chances are the dominant lady whom you meet will NOT look like the ones in the magazines, just like in vanilla life not everyone looks like they fell out of playboy. Dominant females come in all shapes, sizes, ages and colors. Don't assume that every female dominant out their will match with your interests, or desires. Don't assume she will have a full leather and latex wardrobe to slink around in for you, or a well stocked dungeon with mood lighting, Dominant females are normal people with normal lives, they have jobs, families, and friends. Also.... just becouse you state "hey I am a male sub looking" don't think you will be flooded with offers from ladies jumping at the chance to be with you. You have to earn their attention.
Now, how do your earn their attention? well, be a gentleman, be polite, be interesting, be clean and neat, no woman wants to be in the company of a rude, boorish, smelly guy. You see a lady at a event, ask someone you know if they know her and can introduce you to her, approuch her and BE POLITE, do not call her mistress, do not kneel at her feet and say I want to be your slave. Tell her you admired her skill, or her hair or her eyes, or such from across the room and you wanted to met her. If she is at a table, ask to join her (do not assume it is ok to park your tush down and start babbling). Ask her questions about herself, so you can learn about her. Do not make it like a interrigation or a interview. Do not blather on about what you want her to do to you. Find out if she is perhaps seeking someone..... if she is keep talking..... . if not do not just bolt and run, be polite, be nice, perhaps she knows someone who is and if your nice she might tell them about you. Oh yes, and be HONEST. If she is seeking someone, make your self desirable with out being slimey, ask her if she would care for a soda or a water, go get it.....make her see you could be useful in her life. Chat with her, find out some of her interests ( not just S&M) if you are still interested and so is she, ask her if she would care to join you for coffee/lunch/ dinner, if she says yes, offer her your phone number.
So does alot of this sound familiar? kind of like dating in the vanilla world? thats becouse it is, if you are looking for a realationship, not just a quick play partner, it is very much the same.

What UmbraDomina said...

(in reply to UmbraDomina)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/17/2008 7:42:49 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		Do not interrupt play (including set up and aftercare), don't interrupt conversations, or for me.. if I'm sitting quietly and watching something DO NOT come near me. Please note that getting one's boots done is also often a scene.. so don't interrupt that unless someone give their consent... and I won't ever.. if I'm getting my boots done, I'm concentrating on the bootblack.

Do not try to get to me through my bottom/boi/submissive or play partner, unless you know them.  Particularly don't stop them or interrupt them if they are doing something for me.

I would much rather not have someone approach me.  If you want to meet me, talk to someone who might know me.. get introduced, I'm much more likely to remember you that way  -- my tendency when approached blindly is to look bewildered and confused, and eventually annoyed.  I don't know why, but that, and trying to go through my boi annoy the crap out of me...

I suppose it means I'm hard to get to know.  On the other hand, if I want to meet someone.. I'll send the boi over, or find someone to introduce us.

and the getting down on one knee and offering something would really make me laugh and then ignore you...

thinking about what I wrote here made me realize I am likely hard to get to know and that when I go to a public play setting, I am not often looking to meet people, although I do of course... on occasion, but its not in my top five reasons for going there...interesting, as I'd never thought about it

< Message edited by Madame4a -- 12/17/2008 7:51:53 AM >

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to needstheOne)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/18/2008 7:25:12 AM   
SnowRanger


Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline 		Oh Ms. Lynnxz!

I was put in the corner.  I can't see much of anything because I have to keep my nose in it. 

To the OP:  "Hello Ma'am, I am (insert your name here) does work.  Once (just as a lark), I introduced my self just that way!  It was good for a laugh and a pleasant conversation.

Respectfully,
Mike
SnowRanger


_____________________________

You can't help where you were born; and, you may not have much to say about where you die; but, you can and you should try to pass the days in between as a good man.
Anton Myrer Once an Eagle

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/18/2008 7:34:49 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		"Do you have any 'Canadian' in you ?" "No." "Would you like some ?"

(in reply to SnowRanger)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Proper way to introduce your self in a public play ... - 12/18/2008 9:04:26 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		The best way to approach me in public is in the company of someone I know, especially if you want to receive a no-strings-attached beating of some kind. Obviously the wording is different, but the introduction from my friend or acquaintance is usually "Hi, this is my friend So-and-So, and he would really like to get out on the dance floor tonight and he's brought all his toys! What do you say?"

Usually I'm a good sport. Especially if you buy me a diet soda as a thank-you.

Never have had anyone introduce himself/herself in a despicable way, in person--not in a BDSM setting, anyway. Perhaps I don't attract the type that behaves badly.




_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 20
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