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RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/28/2008 2:07:47 AM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		Depend on what your issues are.No Dom really wants baggage or emotionally traumatized subs.

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/28/2008 2:10:47 AM   
moonvine


Posts: 780
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

Depend on what your issues are.No Dom really wants baggage or emotionally traumatized subs.


I think very few adults come with no baggage.

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/28/2008 8:19:33 AM   
MRandme


Posts: 661
Joined: 9/24/2007
Status: offline 		i have grown and healed a great deal in the last 19 months and much of that can be laid right at my Master's feet. He has held me and allowed me to lean on Him when things got too much for me. He did not try to be my therapist and i would not expect Him to do that but He did listen and offer sound advice.

i have been dealing with a divorce (that hopefully will be final in January) and He has steadfastly refused to get involved in that. It was something that i had to handle on my own. BUT He did, as i said above, allow me to lean on Him as i did that. There are times when it is simply not appropriate to have someone else make decisions for you.

He has made me a better person and i think any positive relationship will have that effect to some extent. If it doesn't make you better and stronger, if it tears you down and makes you less, it is probably not a good relationship.





_____________________________

And thus i conclude with a wish you go well,
Sweet be your dreams, may your happiness swell,
I'll leave you here, for my journey begins
i've gone to be with Him again...

(in reply to scottjk)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/28/2008 10:33:01 AM   
jstmi


Posts: 85
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		i can surely say that my Ma'am has really helped me in this area, She has taken the time to nurture and care for me in that way.. my self esteem has really improved with Her help and care. She understands that it takes two people in any kind of relationship to be happy and i am learning quite a bit from Her.. so yes it is ok to look for a Dom to help you with that, if He is a caring person at all and finds you interesting enough to pursue He would do that. if someO/one i cared for wasn't improving my image or making me feel good about wanting to submit then why would i ? remember we are not doormats simply because we chose to submit and give up control... just mho

best of luck to you sultryone
jstmi

(in reply to sultryone)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/28/2008 10:37:40 AM   
devotedinSD


Posts: 91
Joined: 11/30/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BondageBarbieX

Depend on what your issues are.No Dom really wants baggage or emotionally traumatized subs.


I've met so me some who do, not as much baggage as traumatized subs.

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/28/2008 10:40:43 AM   
simpleplan2


Posts: 461
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		As have I.  Many doms seem threatened by strong...I got it under control subs.

(in reply to devotedinSD)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/28/2008 6:54:00 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		And some aren't threatened but get off on being white knights to the rescue. I have certain ongoing issues that I will never get past. He can always be my white knight in these areas. I get help dealing with my issues and he gets the satisfaction of my ongoing gratitude, usually served on my knees!

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to simpleplan2)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/28/2008 7:39:40 PM   
sultryone


Posts: 46
Joined: 10/9/2008
Status: offline 		Well I've learned some things about myself since starting this thread.  Just today one of the Dom's I am getting to know pointed out something to me that I do that bothers him.  It's a little emotional issue I have.  Anyway him pointing that out, just in the way that he explained it to me, made a whole heck of a lot of sense not only in our relationship, but in my relationships with others vanilla or otherwise.  And now I can focus on working on this and putting it into perspective in a way that will make me not only a better sub, but also a better partner and friend. 

_____________________________

I sometimes get things wrong to get things right...

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/30/2008 2:12:44 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		It depends................................:0).....every one has issues..so one then must question themselves..is this an issue I can deal with?..is this an issue I want to deal with?....Is this relationship important enough to deal with this issue?..and for how long?..is the partner in this relationship willing to do all they can to resolve this issue, or are they simply verbalizing what they think will draw you into investature.,we all have issues...but can we deal, is the main question..Tempting

_____________________________

I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to sultryone)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: A sub and her issues... - 12/30/2008 3:00:41 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sultryone

I was just wondering... is it the wrong approach to be looking for a Dom who, alongside everything else, can help me control, learn, and change my emotional issues with the intent of helping me to become a better woman/sub?


There's nothing wrong with that -- the problem is you need to find one who doesn't do all his thinking with his dick and also has both the interest and ability to help, and they're in the minority around here. If you can find a guy who has a real interest in you as a person (instead of as a submissive who will simply jump through hoops on command), you might be in luck.

< Message edited by happypervert -- 12/30/2008 3:06:17 PM >

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to sultryone)
Profile   Post #: 50
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