Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Can anyone explain...


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Can anyone explain... Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Can anyone explain... - 12/19/2008 3:54:35 PM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline
Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
Old ladies can eat more than you think.
You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
What do people in China call their good quality plates?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

_____________________________

Only a biker TRULY understands why a dog sticks its head out of a car window!

My kink profiles

Kink Meet!!!

Tweet Me

Hit any user to continue
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/19/2008 3:56:57 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to FourQ)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/20/2008 8:07:44 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


Posts: 3660
Joined: 10/13/2005
Status: offline
OMG!!!!  Thank you so much!!!  I just read these all to my dad.  We cracked up for about a half hour.  Mostly because we had to keep taking breaks to BREATHE!!!!!  Wonderful!!!

_____________________________

--Fannie
AKA Savage's Fantasy
AKA Girl Dave
AKA Resident Flirt
AKA Sexy Hawt Woman

~*~Happily and proudly collared by my best friend~*~

Quitcher bitchen, and get out of the kitchen! ~Harry {3rdRock}

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 3:51:29 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline
I'm so glad it's not just me that does that.
As a kid I always thought that was because of my asthma - turns out I just got the jokes first.


_____________________________

Only a biker TRULY understands why a dog sticks its head out of a car window!

My kink profiles

Kink Meet!!!

Tweet Me

Hit any user to continue

(in reply to MarksFantasyGirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 6:48:43 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
Must...Resist...Answering...These...


Poenkitten who knew someone who had their leg broken by a Swan and another who had their arm and 2 ribs broken by a goose.

(in reply to FourQ)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 6:51:39 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline
lol - CM, the place where the impossible and unheard of occurs regularly.

_____________________________

Only a biker TRULY understands why a dog sticks its head out of a car window!

My kink profiles

Kink Meet!!!

Tweet Me

Hit any user to continue

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 6:56:31 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FourQ
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?


Because undressing is an erotic act (that's how strippers make a living), and you wouldn't want to turn your gyne on.

quote:


Is French kissing in France just called kissing?


"Baiser profond" (a deep kiss ).

quote:

What do you call male ballerinas?


Ballerinos?



_____________________________



(in reply to FourQ)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 6:57:20 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
Snicker...Nope it was a farm...and trust me when I say if you want a GREAT watchdog that will protect your property..get a goose. The Swan was funny though..the kid slipped and fell from the tree he was climbing to get away from the Swan when she chased him away from her nest and newly hatched cygnets.

poenkitten

< Message edited by BlackPhx -- 12/21/2008 7:10:22 AM >

(in reply to FourQ)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 7:05:21 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol
quote:

ORIGINAL: FourQ
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Because undressing is an erotic act (that's how strippers make a living), and you wouldn't want to turn your gynae on.

I wouldn't - I'm a bloke, but I've known a few lasses that have wanted to... and indeed tried!


_____________________________

Only a biker TRULY understands why a dog sticks its head out of a car window!

My kink profiles

Kink Meet!!!

Tweet Me

Hit any user to continue

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 7:25:03 AM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline
The French use "Danseur" and "Danseuse," the masculine and feminine forms, respectively for Ballet Dancers or Ballare which is the original Latin root for the word meaning to dance.
That little frisson of fear that comes when petting a strange horse for the first time has to do with the size of their teeth (yes they do bite) and the hooves that can do a good job of stepping on or kicking you, not to discount the weight which can be crushing even if all they do is lean against you.
Plate in Chinese is Pan Zi (zeh), for Bowl  Wan not sure of the collective word.
And I solemnly swear to respect any man who carries a Pit Bull, Bull Terrier or or Bull Dog under their arm as a pocket pet. 

poenkitten (OK so the Swan was the cause not the breaker..)



(in reply to FourQ)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 7:40:03 AM   
lilmissdefiant


Posts: 666
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline
still funny as hell

_____________________________

Change what you can and accept what you can't.
He came to me one night. Explored my body, licked, sucked, swallowed! When satisfied, he left & I was hurt!!... Fu*king mosquito!

Resident Thread Killer

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 7:51:06 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
The term "ballerine" in French has no male equivalent - but it is rarely used. It's an old fashioned noun that conveys quaint images reminiscent of Degas' paintings - think Marie Taglioni rather than Sylvie Guillem. The term "danseuse" (for female dancers) is far more common (it's "danseurs" for the blokes).

_____________________________



(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 10:49:50 AM   
Hanable


Posts: 3284
Joined: 3/19/2007
From: BFE ohio
Status: offline
snort* cant.. answer.. want to so badly.. must keep quiet. know how to answer.. so many...

H >:)


_____________________________

Will you be my hooker??


Forum Rankings


Fate: a horribly wonderful thing

http://www.tshirthell.com/store/link.php?id=SGFuYWJsZQ==

http://dragcave.net/user/Hanable

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 4:40:10 PM   
Saratov


Posts: 1716
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

The French use "Danseur" and "Danseuse," the masculine and feminine forms, respectively for Ballet Dancers or Ballare which is the original Latin root for the word meaning to dance.

poenkitten (OK so the Swan was the cause not the breaker..)



Sooo, "Danseur" is french for 'light in the toe shoes'?  

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Can anyone explain... - 12/21/2008 7:01:14 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline


poenkitten

(in reply to Saratov)
Profile   Post #: 15
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Humor and Games >> Can anyone explain... Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078