quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

Wow!  Talk about the varied replies that should come forth.    I'm feeling frisky this morning, so I might as well jump in here, since for me intimacy is wanted and needed in the relationship.   Intimacy to me goes much deeper than trust.   It's being able to share my deepest, more inner thoughts, feelings, emotions.   To answer CP's question, yes, it's being able to use my vibrator in front of Him and orgasm.   It's being able to lie in bed in the dark and talk about things without feeling judged or rejected or just plain stupid for wanting to talk.   It's being able to listen to Him and hear everything He's saying.     It's being able to just be together and be doing nothing and there is a comfort level that can't be found anywhere else.   It's being in the middle of play and Him looking at me and knowing what I need and want.   It's being in crowded room but yet feeling as though it's just yall.   It's knowing that all your faults can be laid out on the table without fear that they will define you.   It's being able to giggle softly when you know you've just screwed up.  It's the "oomph" in the relationship that defines it to more than just play or casual.    And these are just my thoughts ...

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ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

intimacy isn't anything having to do with vibrators and vulnerability to me; it's more the act of sharing something with someone that you don't share with just everyone; it's akin to a prostitute not kissing her johns but she will kiss her husband, etc...

it's those small things that distinguish us as more than just another notch on the bedpost; it's being someone who is truly cared for by the other in ways they won't share with anyone else.

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ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

And yes, I do see a discrepancy between what is acceptable depending on which side of the / your on. As much as s types will say they want their M or D type to be transparent or intimate with them, I see otherwise in their words when they describe what they are attracted to.

From what I have seen, it is more of an active transparency of the s type, and active acceptance and safety of such on the side of the D/M type.

LaTigresse,

No that is something to ponder on?

CP 

(in reply to LaTigresse)

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ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

NV,

Well setting aside our opposing positions on what it is,let me say that it appears that your both very fortunate having found each other. merry Christmas to you both.

CP

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

intimacy isn't anything having to do with vibrators and vulnerability to me; it's more the act of sharing something with someone that you don't share with just everyone; it's akin to a prostitute not kissing her johns but she will kiss her husband, etc...

it's those small things that distinguish us as more than just another notch on the bedpost; it's being someone who is truly cared for by the other in ways they won't share with anyone else.

liloneds,

Perhaps not but would you use your bullet in front of anyone else?

CP

quote:

ORIGINAL: krikket

Deep intimacy is the one thing i've always craved in a relationship and the one thing that has been rarely offered or freely given.  Without that intimacy, between both of us, it's only half a relationship, and therefore doomed to failure.  Life has taught me to be careful with both intimacy and vulnerability, unless my partner shows he wants and needs it as well.  If shown or offered too quickly it seems to scare them away -- poof!! never to be seen or heard from again.  Unfortunately it's a vicious cycle, and one i don't know how to break.  i want and need more than just a physical relationship with my partner, and without that intimacy i'd be just settling, and i've done enough of that in my life.  i'm with LaTigresse on this one -- different levels for different people.  The relationships that did have it all were because we both showed our vulnerability to the other, each reached out and inside wanting it all, rare and precious, to be truly treasured.  i don't know why (generally) men are afraid to show their more vulnerable side.  It makes it easier for me to trust them and to share that part of myself, and it makes me think more of them, not less.  i know there are people, men and women, who are able to reach this state with their partners.  i've met them both in person and on here, and i often hope they appreciate what they have (and for the most part, i think they do). 

What a lovely way to start the weekend, thinking about possibilities.

Happy Holidays, y'all.

jimini

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ORIGINAL: ExSteelAgain

Intimacy is a given goal in my relationships. If it isn't there, it won't last. I don't completey trust those who can't become intimate.

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ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

This is a great thread!  It's good to see others that feel the same as I do.  All I seem to run into in my email are those that think we are all (including them) robots that just turn off and on.  No emotions, no relationship, just training machines, machines that will train anything and any body.  

Then call you fake if you don't comply with their demands to be owned, right then and there on the first email.  And they don't mind telling you that in their vast experience, that no one things like I do, and that I"m just trying to trick some poor soul into a vanilla marriage....LOL  with all the abundance of vanilla sites, it really makes since I would come "here" to find a vanilla husband.....yeah right..lol  they will try and say everything to get you to do their bidding.

I am finally talking to one, that seems to really get it..of course, as luck would have it, he's on the other side of the planet....lol

I agree with many of the different aspects of what's been said so far, so I won't repeat.

Thank you for this Christmas gift.  It gives me hope, that maybe one day I will find "the one" not the "perfect" one, but the compatible one.

Happy Holidays all

Journey


Your welcome and a Merry christmas to you. As far as the distance is concerned it is an inconvience but just that // good fortune to you both.

CP

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ORIGINAL: stella41b

Me texting a woman telling her that I was dirty, smelly, cold, wet, nowhere to sleep, no money, hungry, thirsty, alone, confused, frightened.. still street homeless. That I felt I couldn't go on any more.

Her texting me back telling me that it didn't matter, that it was breaking her heart for me to be in that way, that she so much wanted to be with me, hug me, and for me not to ever give up hope but to hold out until I found somewhere to live and to have faith in the future so that we could one day be together.

That was when I was in Warsaw, Poland, end of November 2005.

This is the same woman who texted me to tell me she collected the money I sent her Western Union and bought a coach ticket to London, that she was frightened, scared, that she didn't know English, that she had never ever travelled so far from home in her entire life, but that she cannot wait to be with me and make everything better.

I texted her back and reassured her that I would be waiting there for her and it would be better when we are together.

This was two days ago. In eight days time she will be here with me in London.

There is a Polish saying - ktoś, z którym można ukraść konie - someone with whom you can steal horses. This to me is intimacy.

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ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

Intimacy is vulnerability.

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ORIGINAL: stella41b

Me texting a woman telling her that I was dirty, smelly, cold, wet, nowhere to sleep, no money, hungry, thirsty, alone, confused, frightened.. still street homeless. That I felt I couldn't go on any more.

Her texting me back telling me that it didn't matter, that it was breaking her heart for me to be in that way, that she so much wanted to be with me, hug me, and for me not to ever give up hope but to hold out until I found somewhere to live and to have faith in the future so that we could one day be together.

That was when I was in Warsaw, Poland, end of November 2005.

This is the same woman who texted me to tell me she collected the money I sent her Western Union and bought a coach ticket to London, that she was frightened, scared, that she didn't know English, that she had never ever travelled so far from home in her entire life, but that she cannot wait to be with me and make everything better.

I texted her back and reassured her that I would be waiting there for her and it would be better when we are together.

This was two days ago. In eight days time she will be here with me in London.

There is a Polish saying - ktoś, z którym można ukraść konie - someone with whom you can steal horses. This to me is intimacy.

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ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

There's a similar saying in the US. I don't remember it exactly, but it's something like... (and I know, this sounds kind of gruesome, but morality is a relative thing!)    "A true friend is someone who helps you hide the bodies."