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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/23/2008 10:30:59 AM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		What  am I to think about... oh Celtic one?
 
=L=
 
I will leave all the deep thinking to....you

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/23/2008 11:04:16 AM   
Jeptha


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Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

For many people though, the physical is the easier part. It's the emotional nakedness that scares the hell out of them.
I agree with this.
There's intimacy that you are comfortable with, and then there are probably a host of other things that fall outside of the comfort range.

That's why I don't automatically equate intimacy with vulnerability.

My partner and I do lots of things on a regular basis that are very intimate, but often we remain on familiar ground.
We don't always stray into territory that might be risky emotionally.

(Well ~ I guess anytime you open up any part of yourself to another person, you do put yourself at some risk of possible rejection, so in that sense intimacy=vulnerability. But, practically speaking, I don't see them as quite the same.)

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/23/2008 5:10:16 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Intimacy for me is the closeness that two people share when they feel a connection, they share their life with each other without any fears, it's a feeling of oneness.

Without intimacy I just can't let go completely. I can't be as free and open with a person and it becomes a series of motions instead of E-motions.


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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/23/2008 5:12:00 PM   
greeneyedreamer


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quote:

For many people though, the physical is the easier part. It's the emotional nakedness that scares the hell out of them.


OH yes it does!! and It's the best part when it works out too. Shame it's so hard to find.

_____________________________

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I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/24/2008 7:52:00 AM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		intimacy to me - sitting on the couch, reading or quilting, looking over to see my Sir sleeping in the chair.   Or looking over to see him looking back at me, for no other reason than he likes to look at me.

intimacy to me - being in the same room as my Sir for hours without conversation, comfortable in the silence.

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/24/2008 10:11:31 AM   
CelticPrince


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Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThundersCry

What  am I to think about... oh Celtic one?
 
=L=
 
I will leave all the deep thinking to....you


*deeply pondering the words of TC!

CP

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/24/2008 11:04:30 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		what is intimacy? 

For me it is rather simple.  The authentic sharing and understanding of the thoughts and feelings between me and my partners.  When that intimacy is a full sharing and understanding of our thoughts and feelings it has lead to some incredible experiences to share as well.  For me experiences shared doesn't lead to intimacy but it may demonstrate that intimacy exists between the individuals.  I say May demonstrate because.. I have found that experiences in of themselves doesn't neccessarily indiciate that one is actually sharing or understanding the thougths and feelings of themselves or their partners. 

_____________________________

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/24/2008 1:28:11 PM   
eyesopened


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Maxwell67

I think that would be vulnerability, and not just intimacy.  Can I be vulnerable around Mine?  Well, actually I suppose I could.  I have let her nurse me through illness, and I was pretty vulnerable then.  I have never hidden any part of myself from her.  Vulnerability comes once trust, honesty and transparency in the relationship are established and I think that when it hits, it is often the end of many relationships, it makes people, especially Dominants, very nervous to show that.  It is why we Dominants admire the strength of submissives so much, since they seem to be able to be vulnerable very early in the relationship.  It is unfortunate when it cannot work the other way, but I suppose it is common.  I have read a number of posts here in CM where submissives have expressed alarm or even disdain for any dominant who would dare show even a hint of what they might think of as weakness.  I have always thought it a bit strange and funny that the thing many Dominants consider to be the strength of a submissive is the same thing many of those same subs consider to be weakness in a Dominant.


Aw what the hell I'll be vulnerable for a moment a comment here...

I agree with Maxwell that there is a difference between intimacy and vulnerability.  Getting an invasive physical exam from ones gynocologist or urologist is being very vulnerable without a hint of intimacy.   To me intimacy is the foundation or the pathway for the sharing or emotions, where feelings of joy or sorrow,  fear or courage,  adoration or loathing, can actually be experienced through another person with whom we are intimate.  It is beyond being empathetic.  I suppose there are some who could be intimate without ever being vulnerable but I don't know exactly how that would be possible.

< Message edited by eyesopened -- 12/24/2008 1:36:35 PM >

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/25/2008 9:04:34 PM   
CelticPrince


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Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

what is intimacy? 

For me it is rather simple.  The authentic sharing and understanding of the thoughts and feelings between me and my partners.  When that intimacy is a full sharing and understanding of our thoughts and feelings it has lead to some incredible experiences to share as well.  For me experiences shared doesn't lead to intimacy but it may demonstrate that intimacy exists between the individuals.  I say May demonstrate because.. I have found that experiences in of themselves doesn't neccessarily indiciate that one is actually sharing or understanding the thougths and feelings of themselves or their partners. 


Knights, 

I get it I think! So have you ever had that intimacy beyound "May"

CP

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/26/2008 6:33:55 AM   
KnightofMists


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince
I get it I think! So have you ever had that intimacy beyound "May"



The sharing and understanding of the thoughts and feelings between ourselves (Alandra, Kyra and I) is one of the few things that have awe me in life.  There is a comfort between us to share what is in our thoughts and feelings.  There is a drive between us to understand those thoughts and feelings.  I have known intimacy like this for 20+ years with Alandra and in the past 3+ years I have been known what it is like between 3 indivduals.  I have also known relationships that do not have intimacy like this or intimacy that is driven only by sharing of experiences together and I have always felt those relationship lacking regardless of the feelings I might have for the indivdual.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/26/2008 7:43:45 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Intimacy is when I take his face in My hands and he knows no matter what is going to follow, it will come from a private place of Me that only he will share.

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"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/28/2008 11:00:27 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		What is intimacy to me...

... from her... seeing her being totally vulnerable, having all her walls, her illusions, her dignity, her pride... everything stripped away until there is just her, defenseless.

... from me... allowing her to affect me.  I spend my life being unaffect or striving to be unaffected by anything and everything around me.  The economy tanks, I go on... I find ways to not only survive but thrive.  A family member stabs me in the back, I strive not to let it affect me, to weigh my options, my choices on how to respond and I move on.  A relationship ends, I close that chapter and turn the page to a new one.  That's who I am, people tell me I'm a rock, they tell me how strong I am, how smart... they see what I want them to see and they don't get to affect me.  But every once in awhile I meet someone special and I let her affect me.  I used to hate tea, never liked the stuff.  Then I met a girl from Scotland, she was very special... she drank a lot of tea.  She's gone, torn from me too soon.

I still drink tea every day.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/29/2008 3:21:46 AM   
steviemichael


Posts: 177
Joined: 1/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:

intimacy

intimacy to me is a good movie and a pizza and under the blanklet on a cold nite.


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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/29/2008 7:09:50 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Intimacy to me is precisely what I decide it to be and will be different (subtly you understand) with each female I am intimate with. For each member of the feminine gender it will be unique just as she is unique so how could it ever be the same as with another? None are better than the other just deliciously different. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

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http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/29/2008 9:54:39 AM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		a friend or loved one that listens to all your crap and puts an arm around you when you need it.

on other times..anal sex can be very intimate too lol

(in reply to IronBear)
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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/30/2008 6:38:09 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

What is intimacy to me...

... from her... seeing her being totally vulnerable, having all her walls, her illusions, her dignity, her pride... everything stripped away until there is just her, defenseless.

... from me... allowing her to affect me.  I spend my life being unaffect or striving to be unaffected by anything and everything around me.  The economy tanks, I go on... I find ways to not only survive but thrive.  A family member stabs me in the back, I strive not to let it affect me, to weigh my options, my choices on how to respond and I move on.  A relationship ends, I close that chapter and turn the page to a new one.  That's who I am, people tell me I'm a rock, they tell me how strong I am, how smart... they see what I want them to see and they don't get to affect me.  But every once in awhile I meet someone special and I let her affect me.  I used to hate tea, never liked the stuff.  Then I met a girl from Scotland, she was very special... she drank a lot of tea.  She's gone, torn from me too soon.

I still drink tea every day.


Padriag,

I can tell you this lad, we share many thoughts together / thanks for your input.

CP

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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/30/2008 6:39:58 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: steviemichael

quote:

intimacy

intimacy to me is a good movie and a pizza and under the blanklet on a cold nite.



stievie,

Truely, that qualifies as different strokes for different folks.

CP

(in reply to steviemichael)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/30/2008 6:42:09 AM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Intimacy to me is precisely what I decide it to be and will be different (subtly you understand) with each female I am intimate with. For each member of the feminine gender it will be unique just as she is unique so how could it ever be the same as with another? None are better than the other just deliciously different. 


IB,

Well the considt may be different, but the "being" might be the same????

CP

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/30/2008 6:47:17 AM   
T1981


Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Padriag

What is intimacy to me...

... from her... seeing her being totally vulnerable, having all her walls, her illusions, her dignity, her pride... everything stripped away until there is just her, defenseless.

... from me... allowing her to affect me.  I spend my life being unaffect or striving to be unaffected by anything and everything around me.  The economy tanks, I go on... I find ways to not only survive but thrive.  A family member stabs me in the back, I strive not to let it affect me, to weigh my options, my choices on how to respond and I move on.  A relationship ends, I close that chapter and turn the page to a new one.  That's who I am, people tell me I'm a rock, they tell me how strong I am, how smart... they see what I want them to see and they don't get to affect me.  But every once in awhile I meet someone special and I let her affect me.


Very bueatiful, and much the same of what my husband says. While I am not a hard person to reach emotionally (I'm in fact an open book), he says that part of why he loves me is because for all of the people I do love - he is the only one I've loved enough to get to this point, and it's true. He is often quite stoic, an introvert, but for him to be able to let loose, to open up, to open ME up - that's intimacy.

Intimacy for me is the fact that I can play with other people, but at the end of the night, it's him and I crawling into bed, shuffling around the blankets, trying not to kick off the cats - just him and I. It's the fact that we can laugh when something funny happens during sex and not feel like we have to be rigid in our roles. It's the fact that no matter what, at the end of the day, it comes back to him and I.

Intimacy is the smaller things, the fact that I don't have to close the bathroom door when I'm in there, it's the way that he reaches over and pulls me in for a kiss, it's the fact that no matter how good or bad the day was, it's him that I'm coming home to tell about it.

I love that.







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RE: What is intimacy to you? - 12/30/2008 7:17:23 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Intimacy to me is precisely what I decide it to be and will be different (subtly you understand) with each female I am intimate with. For each member of the feminine gender it will be unique just as she is unique so how could it ever be the same as with another? None are better than the other just deliciously different. 


IB,

Well the considt may be different, but the "being" might be the same????

CP
'

I'm a little nonplused here, would you be so kind as to explain what you mean in "Being"?


_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 80
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