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RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/20/2008 6:57:03 PM   
centexsub


Posts: 14
Joined: 12/12/2008
Status: offline 		Come on.  The term "pushy sub" should be an oxymoron, because any sub who is pushy is too focused on his own desires.

< Message edited by centexsub -- 12/20/2008 7:37:00 PM >

(in reply to MisterMonster)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/20/2008 7:06:34 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

However, I am a stickler for giving her an order, and having her fail...something about that secretly pleases me, even if the retribution she receives, and my body language and whatnot, suggests otherwise

And that, to me, is the same kind of game playing that a sub who pushes their Dom's buttons is doing. Funishment aside, I have no interest in a Dom that is pleased when I fail, let alone one who acts like he is displeased when he isn't and goes for "retribution" rather than finding out why it happened and how to keep it from happening again. This smacks of setting her up to fail so that you can punish her, and that is a game I won't play.



< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 12/20/2008 7:24:46 PM >

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RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/20/2008 7:09:04 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Does insisting on obedience from your subs get boring after a while...


Assuming I had a dominant in my life, if she or I were to find ourselves bored, then I'd have to say I doubt she was actually using me to my fullest potential.



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(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/20/2008 7:16:00 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Not being obedient 100% of the time is part of life. People get tired, sick, angry, etc. But pushy? Willful disobedience for no reason other than to be a pain in the ass?

I can't imagine anyone wanting that.

And I'm a brat. I tease and initiate force play but that's totally different. Moreover it is only in appropriate circumstances and with a man who appreciates that. Without that, it would just be rude to your partner.

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RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/20/2008 7:17:58 PM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I dislike drama whores, and passive agressive behavior. 


Lynnxz beat me to it so - yes - what she said !!

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(in reply to Lynnxz)
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RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/20/2008 11:41:02 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Coming back into this I guess there are times when I can get pushy..

My background is as a service submissive, and for some time I messed around with Artistasian theory and philosophy, Miss Martindale's stuff and all that, but the model of the 1950's traditional housewife is perhaps too idealistic and unrealistic to expect me to be able to live up to it accurately, however as a submsisive with a domme I fall quite comfortably into the Good Lady model of submission.

I'm a contradiction, I love to serve and it fulfills something very deep within me, very deep within my core and essence of being, but I'm also creative, highly intelligent, and I think and feel like lightning. I need not exactly kink, but occupation, hard work, graft, very firm direction and a sense that I am controlled, not exactly micromanaged, but that feeling that I am operating freely within boundaries and parameters. I'm pretty good when I'm not in service but when I'm in service, as I'm going to be once again in about a week or so, I'm going to be much better.. for it is the direction, pushing, and feeling of control which gives me an inner sense of calm, strength, energyeven vitality.

One of my major kinks is domestic work, housework centres me, scrubbing floors and bathrooms intensifies me as a person, and one previous domme once described me as 'the perfect housewife' and another 'a fucking brilliant domestic'.. I'm also highly intuitive, I read people, good at anticipatory service, second guessing, and sometimes I can stop a domme mid-command with the statement 'It's done'. I'm a sorter, an arranger, an organizer, and at times I can become a human address book, calendar and alarm clock.

If a domme isn't organized before she's with me, she very quickly becomes organized when she is with me, and because I have the habit of doing things randomly and spontaneously she finds herself in a life which is totally organized but where the pattern and order of things is constantly changing. 'Stella where's [insert object]?' becomes a catchphrase.

Being highly intuitive means that I also notice things, pick up on things, observe things, all around her, about her, in other people, the environment, everything. I watch her, I watch other people, I make mental notes and I remember. I assume that part of my role is stepping in when she's fucked up and putting things right and generally making her look good. This is where I start becoming pushy.. for example she's forgotten to take one of her meds, she's missed something, there's something she needs to sort out and deal with, and rather than make the decision for her I'm bringing it to her attention so that she can make the decision. My being pushy is basically a message 'pay attention'.

As for being bored.. lots of adjectives apply to me, both positive and negative, but boring I don't think is one of those adjectives. [size]

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(in reply to centexsub)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 3:53:20 AM   
boytoyinatlanta


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		usually subs get "smart" when Mistresses start fucking up

(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 4:05:40 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Does insisting on obedience from your subs get boring after a while. Ladies do you feel old fashioned, doing this after a while all the time.  After all in the real world does anyone get obedience 100% of the time from their servants, workers, underlings, whatever you want to call them or is there no excuse for not obeying Mistress's orders. Is Mistress word Law for the submissive at all times
kevin



It's natural to push the boundaries from time to time. Whether or not you can manage this, depends on what you have to offer and to what lengths you're prepared to go. I absolutely detest feeling like I'm being led down a line - e.g. initiating force play - and will pretty much do what it takes to knock that on the head; I expect it however so it's no great surprise and I relish dealing with it.

Edited to add:

Experience is the best teacher, and you really don't know what you're dealing with until the boundaries are pushed - actions are not always aligned with words.

< Message edited by NorthernGent -- 12/21/2008 4:11:32 AM >

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RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 4:11:16 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Not being obedient 100% of the time is part of life. People get tired, sick, angry, etc. But pushy? Willful disobedience for no reason other than to be a pain in the ass?

I can't imagine anyone wanting that.

And I'm a brat. I tease and initiate force play but that's totally different. Moreover it is only in appropriate circumstances and with a man who appreciates that. Without that, it would just be rude to your partner.


my exact feelings


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(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 4:16:06 AM   
mozartsfuneral


Posts: 103
Joined: 11/2/2008
Status: offline 		i agree, some might see my behavior with my Master as rude, but He wants me to be a brat when the time is right. When the time is right, we will play fight, and i'll end up on the ground in a submission hold begging for Him to let me up and i'll be a good girl...and behave like i should...

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 4:18:44 AM   
mozartsfuneral


Posts: 103
Joined: 11/2/2008
Status: offline 		Whoa, you set her up to fail??? That's fucked up if i say so myself...

(in reply to MisterMonster)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 4:21:49 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mozartsfuneral

Whoa, you set her up to fail??? That's fucked up if i say so myself...

*nods*
it is also very sad.


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RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 4:47:36 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Only thing a pushy sub/slave is going to get from me is my foot being pushed up her arse with force at high speed to assist her out the door and over the front fence.... Bugger I'd need another (non pushy) sy get squashed sleve arse and entrails off my highly polished riding boot. 

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(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 4:50:07 AM   
mozartsfuneral


Posts: 103
Joined: 11/2/2008
Status: offline 		Yes very very sad. We're not robots and not perfect, so setting someone up to fail is just mean.

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 7:35:37 AM   
SirJ40


Posts: 164
Joined: 12/21/2008
Status: offline 		"Brat" is a game. Not one we enjoy in this house. We don't play it.
We also don't play "unquestioning unflinching obedience".. she's My sub, not a slave. There is a difference, as most know.
She is, of course, My mate as well as My sub.. the roles sometimes are not entirely compatible. She doesn't use bratty behavior to escape the submissive mindset.
If she wants to question a decision or encourage further exploration, she does so sensibly, reasonably, and rationally. For serious issues, real problems, she will respectfully request that I remove the Collar, I stress respectfully, no matter how upset or angry she may be.
That is her right.. if she needs to negotiate or defend herself, she cannot do that properly from within the submissive mind set. I understand that.. if she asks, I know it's bloody serious.. and I treat it as such. And I do so while respecting her need to address it as such.
It is not rude or insulting for her to ask permission (if she really believes it necessary) to defend herself, her actions, or her beliefs from a position of equality, as My future wife, not as My sub. I agreed to that in the beginning, and I value her input.
She does not "test" Me.. why would she need to "test" Me? She has already issued her submission.. I passed the tests. I have earned her respectful behavior, and she was the one who determined that... for her to refuse that now would be an affront to her submission, which she has jealously refused to issue to anyone before. She does not make a mockery of her decision by insulting her submission.
It was her decision to offer to submit. It was Mine to accept. Both sides of the issue carry significant responsibility. Both sides deserve to be respectfully fulfilled.
She does, however, rationally and reasonably encourage and attempt to further My personal growth. Sometimes I resist at first.. fear.. lack of knowledge, uncertainty, concern for her safety, all might make Me balk. She encourages and inspires Me... and growth occurs. Sometimes, a little light teasing may be just the thing to ease My mind, and she knows Me very well.. and when it will work for her. Therefore, it's not bratty behavior.. it's enjoyable interaction.
"Brat" is just a game. Lots of people enjoy it, and good for them! If you like it, go for it!
We don't enjoy it. Either of us.
We enjoy honest communication and unflinching mutual respect within our roles.
Play your way- and enjoy it, for goodness sake!


(in reply to Sexycelticlady)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 12:08:21 PM   
Aszhrae


Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mozartsfuneral

Yes very very sad. We're not robots and not perfect, so setting someone up to fail is just mean.


Girl would agree. Girl knows that master would like nothing more than if girl behaved as an automaton and usually public humiliation gets me really upset and girl, although made upset, puts me back in my place.
At the same time, mistress enjoys a little independent behavior once and while because it assures her that girl is able to do things without mistress always at my strings.
It is natural for a human being to test the waters, to exert a little will upon limits and to lean against boundaries. Sometimes though if the sub or slave leans to hard or too willfully the result is not what the sub or slave had in mind.
It simply comes down to what the dominant will allow and what is a definite,'Don't do that again or else'. Some times there is no, 'or Else'. Sub or slave gets punished.
Girl remembers a situation of being confined to my room and was only given bread and water because girl leaned to willfully. Girl learned, if girl wanted to eat, girl did what girl was told.
Girl is very sure that if mistress and master wanted to break girl's spirit they would have done so long ago. The result would have been girl that was just a shell.

(in reply to mozartsfuneral)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 2:47:05 PM   
slimon62


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/26/2006
Status: offline 		I do have to say that i do like a fiery submissive.  It makes for a more interesting time.  I do know that when she does finally conform, even if it is just for an hour, day, or week that I have done my job and done it well.  Even though she is fiery and a little firecracker I do know that I still have the final say.  If she does do things to just get under my skin that is totally opposite and needs to be corrected. 

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 3:02:55 PM   
GoodgirlFind


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/24/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I dislike drama whores, and passive agressive behavior. 


^^. . ^^
You forgot attention whores with an agenda.

(in reply to Lynnxz)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 3:12:52 PM   
bound4more


Posts: 128
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Does insisting on obedience from your subs get boring after a while. Ladies do you feel old fashioned, doing this after a while all the time.  After all in the real world does anyone get obedience 100% of the time from their servants, workers, underlings, whatever you want to call them or is there no excuse for not obeying Mistress's orders. Is Mistress word Law for the submissive at all times
kevin


For us, it's one thing for me to be playful and teasing, quite another to be blatantly disobedient, which Master literally dispises.

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(in reply to lobodomslavery)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go... - 12/21/2008 4:46:32 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		If I ever even once became pushy with Master I don't think I'd be around after that. He would never put up with it and I'd be ashamed of myself for acting in such a manner. It's uncouth and disrespectful.


(in reply to Sexycelticlady)
Profile   Post #: 60
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