RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (Full Version)

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Aszhrae -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/21/2008 5:42:33 PM)

Girl has read recently, that it is instinctive of a sub/slave to meet the One that they can not help themselves from being completely obedient.
Girl would suspect that this D or M, was able to reach inside the sub/slave just by mere presence and the sub/slave is lost, the One. becoming their whole world.
Taking this into consideration, girl believes that it would not be within the sub/slave to push their D or M.
It would be counter-productive and even damaging to the relationship. Especially if the result is what IronBear states is accurate of all D or M.
Then again there are some D or M, that see such behavior is part of the training process. Eventually the sub/slave learns not to push. To be punished for having pushed, disciplined with ongoing severity until the sub/slave finally had the realization sink in that enough is enough, the next push might be them being pushed out onto the street.

Really do have to wonder though, would D or M really push their sub/slave out, knowing full well that they have nothing? What if the sub/slave in question does not have the skills to survive?

Girl supposes the answer would be, 'The sub/slave should not have a pushed at all.'
Girl is not condoning the behavior, far from it. There were times girl has pushed back and ended sleeping outside a few times. One occasion, girl ended up sleeping on top of clothes dryer to keep warm when it -12C outside the laundry room. Girl never pushed again after that. Do as you are told or fend for your self. Do as girl is told, life is much more comfortable that way. 



DesFIP -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/21/2008 8:04:05 PM)

There's nothing wrong in pushing when it is desired by both people in the relationship. I don't know what great authority announced that anyone with their One becomes automatically obedient, but it isn't universally true. It isn't true for me.

I become unquestioningly obedient when I'm scared and insecure, which is not a good way to be in a relationship. I get pushy/bratty/take initiative when I'm secure with him and all is right in my world. He likes having me do this because it shows how happy I am. However I don't do this first thing in the morning when I'm supposed to be getting tea for us morning zombies. I don't do it when I am supposed to be passing tools for a household repair job. There's a time and place.

Most of all, he isn't challenged by this. He knows that I like a little bit of force play and he enjoys it also. You can't have force play if one person doesn't resist. But just as I wouldn't be compatible with Iron Bear, his subs wouldn't be compatible with The Man.



TheVoiceofOne -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/21/2008 11:22:58 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Not pushy all the time just disobedient and challenging occasionally to make it more fun and less predictable.
kevin




Being a man, and the Master of one female slave... I would not EVER consider this type of behavior "fun". But that's just me.



steviemichael -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/22/2008 12:47:32 AM)

 for me being'pushy'is a trigger getting what i desire and what i need depends on the realtionship sometimes it is boreing but a switch as to do what they have to do,even if its service.



CNJDom -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/22/2008 2:08:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery

Does insisting on obedience from your subs get boring after a while. Ladies do you feel old fashioned, doing this after a while all the time.  After all in the real world does anyone get obedience 100% of the time from their servants, workers, underlings, whatever you want to call them or is there no excuse for not obeying Mistress's orders. Is Mistress word Law for the submissive at all times
kevin



I'm just jumping in here after reading the original post.  I feel that there is no real good casual excuse to disobey a Master's direction unless this request goes against any established agreements, or endanger someone else personally, professionally, or has some eithical issue.  To disobey without reason, is not being a submissive...that's being a brat in my book.  Not big on brattish behavior personally to say the least.  But to disobey just to mix it up out of boredom, could mean that the something more serious is at hand...could be the Dominant's problem...just a thought.



NorthernGent -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/22/2008 2:28:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I become unquestioningly obedient when I'm scared and insecure, which is not a good way to be in a relationship. I get pushy/bratty/take initiative when I'm secure with him and all is right in my world.



That is a really interesting point, and I wholeheartedly agree that you get the best out of someone when they can operate in all security. 



NorthernGent -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/22/2008 2:34:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

I'm not into "testing" my Dom for anything.   That amounts to game playing to me and that doesn't work for me.  

If I'm in a relationship with a Dom, He's definitely aware of me and I don't need to see if He "can keep up with me".  

I do everything I can do to steer clear of drama.   Life is too damn difficult to navigate as it is sometimes without adding unnecessary challenges. 



I agree with the drama point - easy life and all that.

In my experience, however, when people come together they sound out one another to understand the rules of the game. I don't call that 'testing', I call that confirming the rules by ensuring actions support words.

How do you confirm whether or not you have the right man on your hands? I mean, anyone can say anything on a profile or a PC.....how do you confirm that he's good for his word?



IronBear -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/22/2008 4:57:51 AM)

For me there is a vast difference between someone who is pushy (typical used car salsperson), and the brat who knows when, where, and under what circumstances he or she can tease and be bratty. I'd prefer to have some one with an evil SoH as well as a belly filled with fire and yet is submissive, obedient (to a fault) and keeps my best interests to heart (include her the best interests of my wife if collared to her or Bruin Cottage if collared to Bruin Cottage). They best know when they enter into grey areas and where I have drawn the line. However a red bottom of stroped from a slave whip will certainly reinforce this.. 



MisterMonster -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/23/2008 3:02:23 PM)

Whoah-whoah-WHOAH...a'ight, people, time for you all to board the Clarification Train, bound for 'Oh, that's what he meant'sville!

Ok. By watching her fail, I don't mean, like, something mean, an example of which I can't even think of. That would just be very cruel. I mean, like, giving her an order like, "You better not fall to your knees over these next few hours", knowing damn well she will, her knowing this as well, but her still trying her damndest. And, like, when I say, "appear angry", I mean, like, me saying, "Ohh, that was bad of you" or something less G rated and lame, but we both know I didn't expect her to succeed, and as such, neither are truly concerned about it, in the back of our minds.

There we go...



Roselaure -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/25/2008 2:01:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: I become unquestioningly obedient when I'm scared and insecure, which is not a good way to be in a relationship. I get pushy/bratty/take initiative when I'm secure with him and all is right in my world.


I react quite oppositely.  If I am feeling stressed and insecure it manifests itself as bitchy.  When I am feeling happy and secure then I am sweet, obedient and biddable. If I am acting out, there's a reason.



IronBear -> RE: Do you like pushy subs who see how far they can go with you or do you insist on obedience? (12/25/2008 3:51:54 AM)

I take it as a given Roselure, that if a slave is acting out of character there 9is a reason. In my view, it is just part of being a Dominant/Owner to ascertain the reasons and what may be required to resolve the situation. If however, the reason is discovered to be attention getting and the errant slave is already getting reasonable or normal attention then we have an infraction of the rules to deal with and Justice will be done swiftly.  If however the problem is something else then steps would betaken to assist the slave to get through the issue or find ways and means to resolve the matter. In either case the matter can not be be left to fester.



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