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Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/30/2005 2:37:18 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

It seems that a number of D/s couples formed online and crossing over into in-person relationships occur over distance. Im just curious as to whether or not Dominants (M and F) have their submissives perform any sort of rituals or adhere to any particular rules on conduct in the days preceeding time spent together (outside of normal expectations or rules). For example, do you instruct your submissive to eat certain foods prior to his or her arrival (or your arrival)? Do you instruct the sumbissive to dress a certain way for the inception of the visit, or to abstain from or participate in certain matters of hygeine such as bathing, cleansing, grooming, wearing of particular scents, use of makeup, nailpolish, etc. (And submissives, feel free to respond regarding your own experiences.)
I love ritual and can see how these sorts of things add to the overall anticipation of one on one time with a sig other and help to a. calm the submissive b. help the submissive to focus and c. foster an even stronger sense of connectedness to his or her Dominant in the time before the actual encounter. Im curious as to whether these types of things have an effect on the Dominant as well.
Im just basically curious if couples have this sort of experience and what that experience looks like from either side of the coin.
Thanks for sharing :-).

< Message edited by justheather -- 12/30/2005 2:39:40 PM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

Post #: 1

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/30/2005 2:49:52 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

i dont think Master gave me any rituals to do in the days before meeting him, however, i did redecorate my entire house, painted it, and obsessively cleaned every little corner of it, went through every storage box I had and got rid of my old life in the month preceeding his arrival. That was a type of ritual for me, it was sweeping away my old life and preparing for Master to enter it. Everything i did i thought to myself, I'm doing this for Master. I went shopping and bought food i knew he liked and stocked the cupboards. I made an outfit to pick him from the airport in. All this kinda stuff was ritualistic to me.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 2

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/30/2005 3:02:12 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali
Everything i did i thought to myself, I'm doing this for Master.

Lovely.

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 3

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/30/2005 3:08:14 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

We've all be through the 'don't wear underwear' or some such the first time, but my very best was this:

We talked and eMailed months before we met, and so we grew to know each other well. I can't quite remember how we came up with the idea– perhaps because of long conversations in the dark– but we decided to prolong the actual 'seeing' each other for an extra hour or two.

What we planned was that the first hour we were together, we'd spend in total darkness. We played out the scenarios over the phone first, both at her house and at mine, but ultimately she drove to see me.

As soon as she rang my bell, I shut off my porch light and I already had my house in total darkness. I opened the door and drew her in. We kissed and she opened her coat– she was already nude underneath.

Taking her hand, I drew her into my bedroom where we discarded her coat. Because of all her excitement, she had some stomach distress and had to visit the bathroom, but we picked up immediately where we left off.

She's very oral, a great match for me, and so she had sex with a guy she had never seen.

When the lights came up later, neither of us were disappointed, and in fact, we were very glad we acted out our first fantasy in darkness.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 4

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/30/2005 3:20:00 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Petruchio

...

As soon as she rang my bell, I shut off my porch light and I already had my house in total darkness. I opened the door and drew her in. We kissed and she opened her coat– she was already nude underneath.

...

I guess you guys didn't get the memo that says anyone who hooks up on the first date is an abuser or an idiot. I'm glad.

Thanks for a very nice post and keep on keepin' on.

I hope the Prudence Police don't hijack the thread.

(in reply to Petruchio)

Post #: 5

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/30/2005 5:06:31 PM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Rituals that a Master has his slave perform is never a bad thing if it leads to each better enjoying their time together......rituals have always been a part of the life from time to time.....I enjoy the few rituals that I have for my slaves and always have.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 6

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/30/2005 8:42:27 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

i dont think Master gave me any rituals to do in the days before meeting him, however, i did redecorate my entire house, painted it, and obsessively cleaned every little corner of it, went through every storage box I had and got rid of my old life in the month preceeding his arrival. That was a type of ritual for me, it was sweeping away my old life and preparing for Master to enter it. Everything i did i thought to myself, I'm doing this for Master. I went shopping and bought food i knew he liked and stocked the cupboards. I made an outfit to pick him from the airport in. All this kinda stuff was ritualistic to me.

I agree that this sentiment is very beautiful.
I experienced something early in my relationship with my sig other that I think reflects the same sentiment: I happened to be at the grocery store with my mother when she mentioned that she had been there late in the previous week and that the checker had forgotten to place a certain item in her bag. I was pretty high coming off of a visit with my Dominant. He had actually just spoken to me about showing a higher level of grace toward the people in my life as an act of giving to him. My mother looked at me and sort of sheepishly said she wondered if I would possibly go to the manager's office and ask the person there if I could have a replacement item...mentioning at that time that she did not have her receipt any longer. It was an item that cost several dollars. She very quickly recanted and said "Oh no, never mind you dont want to to do that". I decided in about an instant that, even though the idea of asking for a replacement product when I had absolutely no proof one was purchased to begin with was hugely embarassing to me, I would do it for Daddy. I approached the service desk, and the line was very long. I stood in line, about to do what would normally cause me some major angst, with a big smile on my face. I just told myself over and over, Im doing this for Daddy. I finally had my turn and of course they didnt give me any flack at all and just told me to get a replacement product, which they marked with a PAID sticker. It wasnt a big deal, but if I hadnt been "doing it for Daddy" I probably would have looked at it in a completely different, and less pleasant light and may not have volunteered to do it at all.
I enjoy the calmness I am able to attain, even in his absence, by "Doing it for Daddy."
Thanks so much for sharing. I wonder if anyone in an ongoing LDR uses ritual before each meeting? I will continue to watch for posts, Thanks again.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 7

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 6:31:07 AM

sweetpettjenny

Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline

hmmm that sounds nice. Although ive never had a online before R/t relationship, they were always meet and we live close by. Rituals are good for both Master and submissive , so i see it as a good thing personally.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 8

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 6:42:31 AM

fyreredsub

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

i enjoy rituals...
they seem to give me something,,secure.
i think it comes form being raised a R C

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 9

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 10:56:35 AM

cinnfulhussy

Posts: 135
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

We obviously didn't get that memo either....
Our first meeting was full of ritual. He told me what he wanted me to wear, and that was perhaps one of the most thrilling aspects for me. I went shopping with his pleasure in mind, and it had me in such a lovely mindset for days!
We did everything they say you are not supposed to do. We met in his appartment, played the first date, did the deed the first date, and as he was inside me for the first time I begged to be his. Hey.... it worked! Going 8 years strong! Not that I advocate others doing the same....
As for ritual, he had me do the all but standard shave for him, wear no panties, wear thigh highs and heels... and he inspected me after giving me a tour of his home. For the six months we lived apart, I ritualized shopping, bathing, shaving and dressing for our time together. It really did change my mindset from everyday student, dog mother and wayward citizen into focusing on being his pleasing slave. He also forbade me to masturbate during the week, save one time. I almost always saved that for my driving down to see him. It certainly ensured that I was hot to trot, thats for sure.
To this day ritual holds an important place in our relationship, and my mindset. I enjoy the structure. Most protocol to me is a form of ritual. We are constantly adding protocol, tweaking, revisiting old rituals. Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Heather my love :)

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 10

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 11:11:23 AM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cinnfulhussy

We obviously didn't get that memo either....
Our first meeting was full of ritual. He told me what he wanted me to wear, and that was perhaps one of the most thrilling aspects for me. I went shopping with his pleasure in mind, and it had me in such a lovely mindset for days!
We did everything they say you are not supposed to do. We met in his appartment, played the first date, did the deed the first date, and as he was inside me for the first time I begged to be his. Hey.... it worked! Going 8 years strong! Not that I advocate others doing the same....

I got the memo a few times. Just chose to ignore it. When it came down to it, the journey I was about to take was deeper than the reach of that sort of commandment.

He pretty much had me at "Girls don't wear things to bed in this house."
(Cue swoon here.)
Okay, he had me way before that, but it's a nice location for placement of the 'when he had me' marker.

quote:

Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Heather my love :)

So very very welcome nessa my sweet. I have some pretty amazing memories I keep in a special spot just for you too.

< Message edited by justheather -- 12/31/2005 11:13:01 AM >

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to cinnfulhussy)

Post #: 11

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 11:31:38 AM

cinnfulhussy

Posts: 135
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

<dreamy sigh> Ahh Heather. You know what a special place you have in my heart, don't you? The first woman I ever loved *that* way. In another life...... maybe the Universe will smile upon us in a different way.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 12

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 11:37:46 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I do my nails and primp. I try to look as good as I can. Then I spend hours in a car and get all wrinkled. lol

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to cinnfulhussy)

Post #: 13

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 11:46:33 AM

cinnfulhussy

Posts: 135
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

Drive naked.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 14

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 1:25:02 PM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Drive naked.....LOL........

For me I don't think it is much ritual as it is, telling what you will do to your submissive prior to the actual get together. Much like the post about darkness for the first time, you both can anticipate what's going to happen, because you have discussed it. The anticipation is heightened and you play it out in your head as the time grows closer.

A man with a plan...is never at a loss!

Peace, Kevin

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to cinnfulhussy)

Post #: 15

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 1:56:56 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Then I spend hours in a car and get all wrinkled. lol

Man, dontcha hate that?????

quote:

Drive naked.

Easy to say in TEXAS, nessa! (brrrrrrrrrrrrr)

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 16

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 2:55:05 PM

cinnfulhussy

Posts: 135
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

Yeah. Here it is, the Eve before 2006. January. And it was in the 70's. Life is rough, I tells yah!

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 17

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 3:28:04 PM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

brrr yes but forgot to add that it was 28 this morning. Texas has very wierd weather.

starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

(in reply to cinnfulhussy)

Post #: 18

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 6:13:55 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

Thanks for the kind word, Noah.

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

… to pick him from the airport …

I was in a CI$ chat room in which was a fearful woman who had confused an abuser with a master. She spent a year or so working out her fantasies on-line before she finally decided to meet the man she felt she could bond with.

I have no idea how much he suggested and it may have been entirely her inspiration, but she rented a limo, picked him up at the airport and when he stepped inside, she was entirely naked. She reported she fell to her knees and serviced him, then the rest of the weekend was 'really intimate', whatever that meant!

It certainly gave me food for fantasy!

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 19

RE: Ritual in anticipation of time together - 12/31/2005 10:55:32 PM

Noah

Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fyreredsub

i enjoy rituals...
they seem to give me something,,secure.
i think it comes form being raised a R C

But honestly, some of us who were raised Pepsi feel the same way.

Remember, if you shake it first you deserve what you get.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

Post #: 20

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