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flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 5:43:10 PM   
arizonaangel


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline 		I am very new to this lifestyle. I met a prospective Dom/Master last Friday... He texted me the next day and at one point told me to shut my fucking mouth when I had said something he didn't like... the next day, the first time we had ever actually been out of a meet situationn, he tied my wrists to a board and spanked my ass HARD with a paddle until I couldn't stop crying and begging him to stop... Now he tells me that the onnly way he would consider continuing to train me is if I agree to come to his house on Monday and he will restrain me again , only this time he will whip me with a whip for 30 minutes straight... I feel this is too much too soon...My common sense tells me to put my safety first... and, that I could really wind up hurt....  
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 5:45:42 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		And your question is...?  Wait, I'll take a stab at it.  Your question is, "why did I meet this guy after he told me to 'shut the fuck up' and why did I let him tie me up and beat me and why do I think I want to receive any sort of 'training' (whatever he means by that)?"

Was I right?

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to arizonaangel)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 5:45:51 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		Go with your common sense.

I don't mean to be mean, and you certainly aren't the first to exhibit this behavior, but what's with the slave/sub types throwing all logic out the window when meeting a so called 'dominant/master/captain amazing'.

A shitty person is a shitty person, no matter what they call themselves


_____________________________

HBIC



(in reply to arizonaangel)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 5:51:19 PM   
laura2161


Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

And your question is...?  Wait, I'll take a stab at it.  Your question is, "why did I meet this guy after he told me to 'shut the fuck up' and why did I let him tie me up and beat me and why do I think I want to receive any sort of 'training' (whatever he means by that)?"

Was I right?

Cali



(Thinks Cali tells it like it is and is spot-on)


_____________________________

'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 5:52:03 PM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline
quote:

My common sense tells me to put my safety first... and, that I could really wind up hurt....

My common sense tells me you are going to get hurt on Monday.....

If you don't want it, don't ask for it, and don't do it.


_____________________________



(in reply to arizonaangel)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 5:54:40 PM   
DrkJourney


Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline 		First of all...don't go.  Like Cali said, not sure why you met a guy that text you to "shut the fuck up" in the first place.  You need to trust your instincts more....sure flags went off when you got the text, and you were proven correct when you met, if you didn't consent to his treatment of you.

If you don't want to call him, send him an email telling him that this relationship is not for you...then cut him off.  He can't talk you into anything if you don't have communication.

Doesn't sound safe to me, but more importantly, it doesn't sound safe to you....so I'm thinking you created this thread to come up with ways to end it.

Seen a few friend hurt by such circumstances...one ex even got a deluxe trip to the emergency room.

This one is simple...no discussion, just walk away

_____________________________

...Look into my eyes and I'll own you....



(in reply to arizonaangel)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 5:57:27 PM   
arizonaangel


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline 		I just told him I'm walking away,..... I already knew the answer before I asked it... deep down.... 

(in reply to celticlord2112)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 6:04:29 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		But you didn't even ask.  You put the info out there, dropped your eyes and dug your toe in the dirt, hoping/expecting us to read your mind.  Heck, I could have guessed that your question was, "how big of a styptic pencil should I take with me on Monday?"


Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to arizonaangel)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 6:08:50 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Why...why do people check their common sense at the door when they begin their journey into BDSM...

ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR COMMON SENSE!!!

Being new is no excuse, BDSM is no excuse; a douche will be a douche no matter what. If you can keep your common sense and know when things are bad (doesn't matter if it's a dom or sub) then do what you gotta do. And no, I'm not bashing the OP...I just find it frustrating that people think "Well, he's a dom and I'm submissive so I guess I should do blah blah and blah." or "I'm the submissive so it's ok for a dom to treat me like shit." If YOU don't like it or feel comfortable with it than just don't do it.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 6:11:26 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: arizonaangel
...My common sense tells me to put my safety first... and, that I could really wind up hurt....  


I'd say it would be wise to listen to that little voice.

I'd say just about anyone here with real-time S&M experience would tell you allowing someone who you barely know to take you to a private location for the purposes of a beating or whipping would be...very reckless. Please anyone, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong and I'll withdraw my assertion...


_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to arizonaangel)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 6:15:18 PM   
E2Sweet


Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

Why...why do people check their common sense at the door when they begin their journey into BDSM...


I have no clue, but I've been reading this kind of thing a lot this evening... I'm just at a loss at this point...

_____________________________

E2Sweet™
"If it doesn't make you smile then chances are you're not doing it right."

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 6:22:11 PM   
understeer


Posts: 35
Joined: 1/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

Why...why do people check their common sense at the door when they begin their journey into BDSM...


I have no clue, but I've been reading this kind of thing a lot this evening... I'm just at a loss at this point...


Sadly, I've actually been getting a lot of contact from girls with no experience in the same situation...

(in reply to E2Sweet)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 6:36:50 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Surely this is a joke, yes?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to understeer)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 7:57:42 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		Please don't be hard on yourself..Just be sure to LISTEN TO YOURSELF. THink of a good friend telling you what you told us... how would you reply? AHH clearer now isn't it?

Be careful, and be wise, ask yourself questions... AND FOR GOD's SAKE LISTEN!!!

Dreamer

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/20/2008 9:59:34 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I know you seek approval, I know you seek to be "good and obedient" and you want to raise and feed off the fires in your body.

Don't let that make you do stupid things.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to greeneyedreamer)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/21/2008 4:54:49 AM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

Why...why do people check their common sense at the door when they begin their journey into BDSM...

ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR COMMON SENSE!!!

Being new is no excuse, BDSM is no excuse; a douche will be a douche no matter what. If you can keep your common sense and know when things are bad (doesn't matter if it's a dom or sub) then do what you gotta do. And no, I'm not bashing the OP...I just find it frustrating that people think "Well, he's a dom and I'm submissive so I guess I should do blah blah and blah." or "I'm the submissive so it's ok for a dom to treat me like shit." If YOU don't like it or feel comfortable with it than just don't do it.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment

It's a fascinating phenomena. People, overall, flock to dominance and authority. When told to do something, and responsibility is lifted, they can do horrible things. Obviously there are the strong willed who will tell their hazing sorority sisters "I'm not sleeping with every guy in that frat, it's unsafe and stupid, goodbye." And then there are those who never question why they obey orders.

The OP's "dominant" had no power over her. He didn't coerce her (verbally, fiscally, physically). Yes, he's a douchebag with no respect for the difference in S&M vs. D/s...

I'm not trying to "blame the victim" here either, in fact, the opposite. I ask of you, and many others, to pity the victim. Pity them for not being strong enough to stand up and say "Fuck this shit, you're taking this too quickly."

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/21/2008 5:04:21 AM   
Vanessacherry


Posts: 18
Joined: 12/13/2008
Status: offline 		I think you may benefit from  doing some reading before you decide to interact with any "Dom's" or "Masters".
I am new to all of this and spend hours reading and am better for it.
There are warning signs, things to look for, things to ask and protocols to follow (to name just a few)

There are tons of places online to do research and prepare/protect yourself.

Good Luck


(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/21/2008 5:08:43 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Do a search here on "red flags" and then take note.  You've shared a couple of big ones with us, but I'll bet there are at least a dozen more that you haven't mentioned.

And a clarification - flogging is NOT whipping.  I have flogged newbies and they enjoyed it.  Whips are NOT playthings for anyone who does not know how to use one.  We're talking possibilities of permanent damage.


< Message edited by DarkSteven -- 12/21/2008 5:10:47 AM >

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Vanessacherry)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/21/2008 7:10:49 AM   
natasha66


Posts: 321
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: NJ
Status: offline 		Just because you are a sub doesn't mean you have to put up with this mistreatment.  Tell this moron to take a long walk off a short pier.

_____________________________

"If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress".
~Basil Fawlty

Collared June 4th, 2008
Love is giving him the power to destroy you, but trusting him not to.



(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: flogging a brand new slave - 12/21/2008 5:54:02 PM   
switchman21


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline 		Why...why do people check their common sense at the door when they begin their journey into BDSM...

Not that it's a legitimate excuse but I'd have to say people 'misplace' their common sense because of the overpowering desire to fulfill this need. A fair comparison is the individual lost at sea with nothing to drink except the salt water of the ocean. Eventually he will succomb to the temptation.  

(in reply to natasha66)
Profile   Post #: 20
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