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cameras - 12/21/2008 10:48:34 AM

patsy79

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/15/2008
Status: offline

why is it,that dommes demand subs show themselves on camera!!!,but virtually never, ever, show themselves>??? this is supposed to be a safety issue!! not what the domme usually says:: " subs must obey their domme,and they will show themselves,if the sub deserves it!! that is complete trash!! the truth is ,that every time that is said, it means the so-called female domme,is in fact male! REMEMBER THIS IS ABOUT SAFETY!! NOT DOMME/SUB.

Post #: 1

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 10:49:30 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

o.o

k.

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Post #: 2

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 10:53:27 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Early on no one has to obey anyone! While this may be true some of the time... on a whole.. I doubt that! I have no problem showing myself to anyone I wish to and I do not ask that someone shows me who they are early on. I want to see the person inside rather than what's behind the clothing. Be they female or male... it makes no difference to me. It's not like I am hooking up quickly online with someone! When I like the person as a person... I might decide then to take it somewhere else. Not all of us are so jaded and work so fast that this would be true. And some of us are really females! lol

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Post #: 3

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 10:54:34 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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I would rather talk to someone on the phone than watch them on a webcam. But that's just me.

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Post #: 4

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 10:55:38 AM

utopicus

Posts: 97
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

If you're talking about on-line chat with people one doesn't know, then it's only the bad experience that could teach them a lesson...

(in reply to patsy79)

Post #: 5

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 10:55:53 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: patsy79

why is it,that dommes demand subs show themselves on camera!!!,but virtually never, ever, show themselves>??? this is supposed to be a safety issue!! not what the domme usually says:: " subs must obey their domme,and they will show themselves,if the sub deserves it!! that is complete trash!! the truth is ,that every time that is said, it means the so-called female domme,is in fact male! REMEMBER THIS IS ABOUT SAFETY!! NOT DOMME/SUB.

wow, hasty generalize much? In fact I do not webcam, I work at home, the work I do is confidential and we are not allowed to use webcams---and I am FAR from a male.

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Post #: 6

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 10:57:27 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Me too LaT... which explains my recent drama around here. lol I am rethinking how I do things. I think a background check will come first in the future... forget the cams, phones and such. lol Once it's time to move from email to messenger... I am covering my ass, but not because I might think someone is not who they say... only because they may be more than they say! ROFL

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Post #: 7

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 10:57:38 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

o.o

k.

Ding Ding.
We have a winner.

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Post #: 8

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 10:59:46 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Me too LaT... which explains my recent drama around here. lol I am rethinking how I do things. I think a background check will come first in the future... forget the cams, phones and such. lol Once it's time to move from email to messenger... I am covering my ass, but not because I might think someone is not who they say... only because they may be more than they say! ROFL

I am sorry, I must have missed that. Hope you are doing okay.

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 9

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 11:01:17 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

If you're a criminal and you've never gotten caught a back ground check won't be very useful. Or if you';re like me and never have been on record for very much, since you don't drive and don't have a job and have never been busted for any of the illegal things I did in the past, a back ground check won't tell you much about me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Me too LaT... which explains my recent drama around here. lol I am rethinking how I do things. I think a background check will come first in the future... forget the cams, phones and such. lol Once it's time to move from email to messenger... I am covering my ass, but not because I might think someone is not who they say... only because they may be more than they say! ROFL

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 10

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 11:12:31 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

*sigh* Okay...I'll bite:

How exactly does misrepresentation of gender constitute a "safety issue"?
How exactly does a one-sided image-viewing protocol constitute a "safety issue"?

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 12/21/2008 11:13:27 AM >

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Post #: 11

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 11:26:11 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

If you're a criminal and you've never gotten caught a back ground check won't be very useful. Or if you';re like me and never have been on record for very much, since you don't drive and don't have a job and have never been busted for any of the illegal things I did in the past, a back ground check won't tell you much about me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Me too LaT... which explains my recent drama around here. lol I am rethinking how I do things. I think a background check will come first in the future... forget the cams, phones and such. lol Once it's time to move from email to messenger... I am covering my ass, but not because I might think someone is not who they say... only because they may be more than they say! ROFL

Very true... but... sometimes they are and it helps to know that! If you can't find anything you run a 50/50 chance... but I will take my 50/50 chance on finding something and leave with a smile. In this case... it was very, very helpful! Better to know what I am really dealing with than to wonder!

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Post #: 12

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 11:26:32 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: patsy79
... the truth is ,that every time that is said, it means the so-called female domme,is in fact male!

The other shorthand rule is, if he doesn't do (X), then it means he's married (or taken.)

But, I agree that I'd feel suspicious under circumstances that the OP lays out.

However, there are lots of sensible and safe ways to communicate, and even meet for coffee (if the correspondent is local), with no web cam necessary.
Unbelievable, perhaps, but true!

I don't have a cam, but back when I was looking I would often get requests for pictures out of the blue, with next to nothing attached as far as information goes.
Sometimes those requests would mention "safety", but it still seemed sort of rude to me to request pictures without offering any information about yourself.

(in reply to patsy79)

Post #: 13

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 6:44:50 PM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: patsy79

why is it,that dommes demand subs show themselves on camera!!!,but virtually never, ever, show themselves>??? this is supposed to be a safety issue!! not what the domme usually says:: " subs must obey their domme,and they will show themselves,if the sub deserves it!! that is complete trash!! the truth is ,that every time that is said, it means the so-called female domme,is in fact male! REMEMBER THIS IS ABOUT SAFETY!! NOT DOMME/SUB.

Hmmm...interesting.

Flashbck to 3 yrs ago....was in contact with a Dom.....Dom found out I have a cam...was asked to have it on when we chatted on IM. Dom rarely had his. I ended up packing everything up, moved from Canada to the US for that time and said Dom wasn't a serial killer nor a psycho killer. Our relationship failed due to reasons not related to the D/s. I moved back to my country and am still alive!.

Thus I just proved your theory incorrect. Often a Dom/me requests a potential sub to cam simply to see if the sub readily follows a simple request, much in the same manner a sub is requested to relate a general outline of their day to the "D" type person. No harm/no foul. Frankly each Domme has their own reasoning for doing this. So when you state that "the truth is ,that every time that is said, it means the so-called female domme,is in fact male!" this is bullshit. Some may be falsely claiming they are female when they are actually male though not all do this.....Some is not ALL.

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Post #: 14

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 7:53:26 PM

Aszhrae

Posts: 1030
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline

When girl first arrived here. Girl thought, no way is girl going to reveal her self on cam. That changed after a few threads and some hinted that girl should be ashamed about being my self.
Girl certainly agrees, trust should be both ways.

You have brought up an interesting point though concerning the fact that many Ds and Ms do not reveal themselves, but instead want the perspective sub or slave to reveal themselves. Near as girl can figure its about the D or M, figuring that it is beneath them to do so. If girl was a D or an M, girl would probably ask also.
Girl would prefer a camera active at both ends of the conversation to happen, but it is highly unlikely that is going to occur.
Most cams have built in mics nowadays so girl is unsure why it doesn't happen.
If girl is comfortable with someone, there is always the cell number.

(in reply to patsy79)

Post #: 15

RE: cameras - 12/21/2008 9:01:22 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

If we didn't have some kind of relationship already and I didn't agree to submit to you* you being generic in this meaning* I wouldn't follow requests I didn't wish to in the beginning of talking to you. I suppose some would think that would make me unsubmissive in their eyes, but until we're in a relationship or I know you and have expressed a desire to follow your instructions, I'm not under any obligation to do anything you request if I don't wish to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: beargonewild

Thus I just proved your theory incorrect. Often a Dom/me requests a potential sub to cam simply to see if the sub readily follows a simple request,

(in reply to beargonewild)

Post #: 16

RE: cameras - 12/22/2008 12:58:02 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Guilty. Right here. Throw stones.

Personally, I don't like being on cam all that much. There are a lot of factors that contribute to it. They range from the lighting in My computer room, to the fact that I don't live alone and think it's unfair to broadcast anyone other than Myself, to My own comfort and style of dress being more important to Me than the opportunity for someone to look at Me while I type. Those are just the constants and don't include things like I might have just got home from work, or might be multi-tasking, or getting ready to go somewhere or a thousand other things. I'm not saying I wouldn't ever do it, but it would only be when I am willing to do so and not because a submissive demands it of Me.

Oh, and while I'm at it, yes, if I tell a sub to show themselves, that's what I expect. I will listen if they feel they have an appropriate reason and decide if it is acceptable. If not, I expect them to obey. See, if I wanted equality, I'd be on eharmony or some other type of site, rather than CM. If someone can't understand that they aren't always going to get what they want, and submit to what I do want on a small matter like this, I highly doubt they are going to submit on bigger issues.

One disclaimer I do want to make here. The above mentioned activity has absolutely nothing to do with any desire to see anyone on the other side of the screen sans clothes. I'm more than happy to wait until someone can throw on a pair of pants and a shirt.

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Post #: 17

RE: cameras - 12/22/2008 1:03:43 AM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: patsy79
...subs must obey their domme,and they will show themselves,if the sub deserves it!! that is complete trash!! the truth is ,that every time that is said, it means the so-called female domme,is in fact male!...

Pretty much.

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Post #: 18

RE: cameras - 12/22/2008 1:12:34 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: E2Sweet

quote:

ORIGINAL: patsy79
...subs must obey their domme,and they will show themselves,if the sub deserves it!! that is complete trash!! the truth is ,that every time that is said, it means the so-called female domme,is in fact male!...

Pretty much.

<Checks between legs.>

Nope. Still female.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Post #: 19

RE: cameras - 12/22/2008 2:20:40 AM

E2Sweet

Posts: 649
Joined: 7/8/2008
From: TopLeftCornerOf, OH, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
<Checks between legs.>

Nope. Still female.

OK, you are the exception.

But in all seriousness, 100% of the "female dominants" that did not share a pic with me when I humbly shared with them followed the same pattern... Three minutes into the first chat and trying to get to know one another, the one word replies start coming in (a la one handed typing), then some ridiculous question about oral, anal, or whatever... Uggh...

The dominant women I've messaged back and forth with here in the forums, and the one I've recently met in person have all come across so radically different from the start, it's like night and day..

Edited for spelling.

< Message edited by E2Sweet -- 12/22/2008 2:25:05 AM >

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