RE: Not the time or place !!

RE: Not the time or place !! (Full Version)

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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:13:07 PM)
Too cold to do exposure stuff outside!!!!!!!

trealeon -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:16:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub They are like any other group of people who come together for a common interest. You'll get along wonderfully with some folks and horribly with others. You'll feel at home with some groups and other groups will turn you off completely for varying reasons (ie. not enough rules or too many). I tend to have wonderful experiences at play parties and play with people who I've just met with a fair degree of frequency without issues. The rules regarding sex will vary from place to place, depending on laws and what the owners/those in charge want to deal with. In some places one can have oral sex and masturabation but no sex. In some you can do everything as long you follow the rules of where it's allowed and the clean-up and in others you can't go anything except orgasm from the result of a scene. You'll have to find out the specific rules of the clubs but you'll probably have better results with parties that are being held privately among friends. That's my guess from the parties I've attended. You can also look into swinger's clubs where sex, from my understanding, is the norm. I've posted previously on this, I have such a hard time finding anything in my area. I live in a fairly large city so I feel like I"m just missing something, like a word that is used to define these things that makes it easy to lookup or something. I did do something similar to what you are talking about in New York as far as private parties hosted by friends, but when I was there.. I had friends who had those kinds of parties. It's not that way here. Question, when you talk about these clubs... are they like nightclubs, but just night clubs that allow some form of play according to rules, because if so, that sounds like just my speed. I'm assuming though that that's going to be a "depends on where you go" answer, but I want to know if such a thing actually exists and is something I could look for. I always envision "giant group orgy" which isn't my speed, but a place where it's more subtle and is just part of a larger environment where other things are going on like music, dancing, etc, we would have a lot of fun in.

AquaticSub -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:27:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon Question, when you talk about these clubs... are they like nightclubs, but just night clubs that allow some form of play according to rules, because if so, that sounds like just my speed. I'm assuming though that that's going to be a "depends on where you go" answer, but I want to know if such a thing actually exists and is something I could look for. I always envision "giant group orgy" which isn't my speed, but a place where it's more subtle and is just part of a larger environment where other things are going on like music, dancing, etc, we would have a lot of fun in. Some are. I've only seen one giant orgy and that was at a private house. Once outta... I don't know how many times... isn't bad and it was sealed off in one room so those who didn't want to participate or even see didn't have to. As for nightclubs, they do exist but my understanding is that they are harder because of the laws in place (hence my feeling about respect - you don't give it, you don't get it). However, my first real encounter with clubs and play parties was exactly what you are talking about. It's a gothic rave style event with options to play and floor shows with performers doing BDSM and flesh suspension, that sort of thing. However, because they have a bar (I believe) you weren't allowed to just scene as you pleased. You paid a little bit extra (10-15) at the door and got a VIP pass which let you play with tops set up for it - who were very cool. There were also vendors selling almost anything you could think of, from custom fit fangs to glass dildos to crops and floggers. If you are in NC, you might want to check it out. I don't remember the website but it's called Purgatory. Edited to add: You are in Richmond, you are bound to have tons more options than most! Drive up to DC, check out the Black Rose group. You may have to attend some munches (low-key gatherings of kinky folk at a resturant to eat and chat) to figure out where the clubs are but I know they exist around there because I grew up there and that's where I lived when I started researching. Sadly, I was too young at the time (for legal reasons groups tend to insist on 21+ though the dance clubs, in my experience, don't).

trealeon -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:36:47 PM)
See for me, I never feel DC is a "hop skip and a jump" away... it's feels out of the way to me, I don't like going but if that's the place to be, we'll see... but in any case if we have to be 21+ I have to wait anyway for my girl to turn 21. We had that issue with some groups that were recommended here in Richmond. It's very frustrating for her, but I get it.

AquaticSub -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:38:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon See for me, I never feel DC is a "hop skip and a jump" away... it's out of the way... but in any case if we have to be 21+ I have to wait anyway for my girl to turn 21. We had that issue with some groups that were recommended here in Richmond. It's very frustrating for her, but I get it. That's some groups and you shouldn't let it stand in your way. TNG is aimed younger kinksters and you can start your own branch. Plus, as I said, the club I attended was 18+ and since that is your interest...

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:44:01 PM)
Dungeons and place spaces are pretty much the same thing under a different name. And just because a place has cages, doesn't mean you have to use them. quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon What are they actually like for those who have participated. I have heard people talk about dungeons, but that to me has a different connotation (sparks the idea of things I'm not interested in... heavy bondage, cages, etc.) But this sounds like something different that I may be intersted in? Info?

trealeon -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:45:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub That's some groups and you shouldn't let it stand in your way. TNG is aimed younger kinksters and you can start your own branch. Plus, as I said, the club I attended was 18+ and since that is your interest... Which club? Purgatory or ones in DC. I think I misunderstood what you wrote before.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:51:56 PM)
Normally I'd say nah I go naked outside even in the winter all the time, But this winter it's been awfully cold when it's normally bearable. quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Too cold to do exposure stuff outside!!!!!!!

AquaticSub -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/22/2008 10:58:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trealeon quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub That's some groups and you shouldn't let it stand in your way. TNG is aimed younger kinksters and you can start your own branch. Plus, as I said, the club I attended was 18+ and since that is your interest... Which club? Purgatory or ones in DC. I think I misunderstood what you wrote before. Purgatory. I did not look for clubs in DC for many reasons, one being that I had no one to go with and I don't like going to clubs, of any nature, by myself. I'd say at least look into it. E-mail some people at the groups that are 21+ and ask them if they know of anything. It never hurts to ask.

mistoferin -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 4:39:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missturbation Personally i play in public as hard as i do at home. Considering rules, restrictions, time limits, etc., can those of you who say that you play as hard or harder in public than you do at home please explain how you do that?

persephonee -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 4:43:35 AM)
~fr~ i cant have sex in the dungeon...so i suppose if "harder" play consists of fucking, then, i guess i dont...but i know i can scream in the dungeon, and there is room to really throw some shit my way....so i think i do play harder there than here at home. im constantly thinking that my neighbors can hear every strike and cant really get into the swing of things at home. Private play is more about dominance for me and public is more about the pain. Cant wait to get a house or til my frickin upstairs neighbor moves out....she keeps threatening to....

mistoferin -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 4:54:04 AM)
I've been thinking about this thread since it got posted and I just keep trying to figure out the "how" it would be possible. Some of our scenes take a long time to set up....rope bondage would be an example. Sometimes we start out with rope bondage, attach a couple hundred clothespins, play with those for awhile, move on to some impact play, play with some electricity, then switch to needle play, add some more impact play, throw sex in there a couple of times, then move on to wax, etc., etc.,....well you get the picture. It can be very time consuming and our scenes at home generally don't last less than about 4 hours or so....and we've done scenes that have lasted as long as 8 days. So I'm thinking that this would be totally impossible in a club or at a party. So what are we talking about here as far as harder goes? Intensity for a half hour or so? Maybe I'm just misunderstanding the question of the thread but I just don't see how it would be possible to play harder in public.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 6:52:25 AM)
that last time i played in public, i wasn't feeling it because most were there not to play but to parade around in their fetish clothes. so i play harder at home (whenever my pet can sneak away from the boss and meetings)

RCdc -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 8:14:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub My understanding is that the legal issue tends to not be what you are doing but what you doing where other, nonconsenting and not willing people can be exposed to it. For example: While the cashier can't see what your girl is doing, those who are shorter than her and tend to be looking up can see very clearly and that means big trouble for you. LOL....not to mention that the thought of some chick standing at the food counter of a restaurant groping her genitalia is just beyond gross. If I "happened" to see something like that happening somewhere I would hope that they were REALLY into humiliation play...because I would make REALLY sure they were thoroughly humiliated. Very true. Plus I just realized - she's touching her genitalia and probably isn't going to make sure that she washes her hands before touching the counter, the ketchup pump and all those other things that people handle before handling their food. Ew. Now I want to take latex gloves with me everywhere... I just have to say here that most people touch unhygenic stuff every day - that have way more bugs and shit than touching genitalia can cause. Most peoples kitchen sponges, worktops and food boards have way more than the toilet so getting paranoid about someones hand washing is a bit naive in reality. I always get confused by people who get a bit haughty about public acts and suggest people should be 'prepared for the consequences' - when they come on a board and post images or talk about sexual and non sexual BDSM practises - which is in itself a public act that you have no control over. I usually find that those people perfoming public acts are usually more clued up than those that say it's not consensual and a bad thing blah. I totally disagree with erin and aqua - as much as I luv ya both. Again, consent is pretty much the buzz word to try and make BDSM seem ok. Consent doesn't actually exist and some people should stop trying to fool others by sticking it in. If it did exist, then everyone would have the photos up, not hiding their faces and be totally cool with their lives and not so worried about others attitudes. Honestly, consent doesn't seperate us from anyone - sociopaths, criminals? Don't be so naive to believe that 'consent' makes it all better in the eyes of the law. If it did, people wouldn't get arrested for abuse and slave contracts would be legal. Sorry misst for a slight detour there. Personally I don't play harder anywhere in particular. The time and place makes no difference to Darcy and I. We do what we feel when we like and never place restrictions or stipulations on shit prearranged in that sense. But then we don't seperate life into neat little pigeon holes either. the.dark.

calamitysandra -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 8:16:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Consent...it is what seperates us from criminals and sociopaths. OT Can I use that, with proper credit of course?

RCdc -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 8:17:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Too cold to do exposure stuff outside!!!!!!! Wuss....[;)] the.dark.

RCdc -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 8:18:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: calamitysandra quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Consent...it is what seperates us from criminals and sociopaths. OT Can I use that, with proper credit of course? Again, you are fooling youself. Anyone thinking that has no sense of responsibility. the.dark.

FlamingRedhead -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 8:44:03 AM)
We play harder in clubs. We can't play at my house unless no one is home. We can't play loudly at his house because of the lady renting his upstairs apartment.

YourhandMyAss -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 9:53:12 AM)
Well, no not exactly. Maybe people mean they can scream and hollar as loud as they want, and at home they can't, Or maybe Since there's equipment you don't have at home you can be more adventurous. Being able to be louder than I could at home would most certaintly qualify to me as playing harder than at home, since he could hit me harder and torture me more, and we won't have to worry about reactions from neighbors or dogs. quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Maybe I'm just misunderstanding the question of the thread but I just don't see how it would be possible to play harder in public.

mistoferin -> RE: Not the time or place !! (12/23/2008 10:31:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark quote: ORIGINAL: calamitysandra quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Consent...it is what seperates us from criminals and sociopaths. OT Can I use that, with proper credit of course? Again, you are fooling youself. Anyone thinking that has no sense of responsibility. the.dark. I luv you too dark but I have to tell you that I find that offensive. I have a very firm sense of responsibility...I'd even have to say that I take it more seriously than most. I don't practice or talk about BDSM in vanilla circles, at fast food restaurants, at the mall, at my job, or even on message forums that are not related. I totally disagree with you in regards to consent...but you already know that. If I found someone groping themselves at a fast food counter or exposing themselves where children are I would, most definitely, make it very well known just exactly how inappropriate I thought their behavior was. Haughty as you may think that is, it is exactly my sense of responsibility that would spur me into action.

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