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Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 9:57:09 AM

mydniterose

Posts: 20
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline

I Know they don't work with me! So WHY do I receive so many of them?!!

If I respond at all it's with the following ..

FORM LETTERS ARE INSULTING!

If you ever got this message from me(and you know who your are)..why did you even bother?

Would you like to be treated as if you were interchangable with every sub here?!

I think not. So why the hell do you feel this is a viable way to approach someone the first time?

Rather than reading our profile, and seeing something there that appeals to you and writing to us to explore this...and being curteous enough to use any supplied first contact protocals. (I have one in my profile just to make sure you actually have read the entire thing!), you just write a impersonal form letter and send it out to everyone one the site that identifies as Domme!

So not the way to attract (positive) attention.

"Block, Delete"

And then you get on these boards to whine that "Why don't Dommes even write to say "No Thanks"? That's so Rude!"

..."Pot....Kettle"

Post #: 1

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 9:59:58 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline

Form letters must work at some point or people would not be sending them out.
There is some return on them, mainly from people who do not necessarily realize they are form letter. It can be an avenue to open communications and then they get more personal. Its fishing, not the most effective but if they werent getting ANY hits they wouldnt still be trying that way.

_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss

(in reply to mydniterose)

Post #: 2

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 10:23:33 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

Form letters may not work, but they are easy to do so those who are lazy will continue to use them. Those who write them could hardly be expected to read in the forums and answer your questions because reading takes time and is work.

(in reply to mydniterose)

Post #: 3

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 10:37:32 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Not everyone has the same goal with this site, mydniterose. You want to meet someone (or ones) in real life. Not everyone does. There are many men who have lives they don't want troubled with the kinky reality of a three-dimensional human being, and they are only willing to fit in the two-dimensional variety. Some of these men are already in committed relationships, and others are just scared of women and don't want one too close.

It's similar to the "Amateurs" fetish on porn sites. There's a thrill knowing you're seeing someone do something for the first time, "just for you." Moving back to CollarMe, just think -- real-life kinky women are actually reading something that I wrote... and sometimes they respond. That is so much better than writing the porn stars on their MySpace page, because they never write back. Besides, lifestyle women on this site are "real," and porn stars are "fake," because they are "only doing it for the money" like other sex workers.

It makes the fantasy that much sweeter.

So sure, form letters work. They achieve an objective. The objective just isn't yours... or mine.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 4

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 11:21:50 AM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

....others are just scared of women and don't want one too close.

This is a great point and one, I'll admit, took me awhile to accept and understand. I've spoken to a couple of sub men who readily admit they aren't able to meet because of this very reason, or variations of. Ironically, they didn't contact me with form letters.

I've gotten form letters from both sides...Dom/sub...and really don't care for them. There's a chill about about a form letter that makes me question the warmth of the person who sent them.
It doesn't make them any better or worse....just not for me.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 5

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 11:53:22 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Form letters are like a net. Send out enough of them and someone will respond. Don't you believe that somewhere there is a desperate person who will take anything. Even a form letter?

I ignore them and laugh at the lack of effort/originality.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to CarrieO)

Post #: 6

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 11:56:05 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

The funniest one I ever got was from a man telling me that he was a Mistress. He had apparently copied someone else's letter and forgotten to change some of the title's. When I pointed out the glitch to him he had an excuse, of course.

_____________________________

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 7

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 1:28:55 PM

MistressXahDee

Posts: 43
Joined: 4/29/2008
From: San Diego, Ca.
Status: offline

Speaking as someone that is still new'ish' to the site; what do these form letters look like/include?

Thanks,
MX

(in reply to chamberqueen)

Post #: 8

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 9:26:35 PM

bdaile

Posts: 69
Joined: 12/8/2008
Status: offline

Form letters do work, even though you don't see it that way. Just your response saying form letters suck is enough for some people. They are looking for attention, even if it's negative. It's just like the people that really do read your profile, and then email to rant at you about some aspect of it. Sure, they aren't going to get on your good side, but if you write back to rant at them then they accomplished their goal.

_____________________________

~brittany~

(in reply to MistressXahDee)

Post #: 9

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/23/2008 10:57:02 PM

Usako

Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressXahDee

Speaking as someone that is still new'ish' to the site; what do these form letters look like/include?

Thanks,
MX

Hello Mistress/Ma'am/Goddess/Insert term here, I am a humble/worthless/lowly/insert term here, slave/submissive. I read your profile and feel you would be a perfect fit for me. The things about you are blah blah blah, insert compliments here.

I am into strapons/foot worship/insert fetish here. I would love to give myself to you and serve you; and by that I mean you servicing me by doing my fetishes for free. I am experienced/new and seek to explore my submissiveness with you.

slave blank

[That's pretty much what most of them look like.]

(in reply to MistressXahDee)

Post #: 10

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/24/2008 12:13:45 AM

bdaile

Posts: 69
Joined: 12/8/2008
Status: offline

Or there are some that look like a real email...

Hello, my name is blank. I do such and such for a living, and love to read/hike/bike/whatever they gleaned from your profile.

I'm into this this, that, and the other, and would love to teach/learn from you...blah, blah, blah...

What's you yahoo/aim/whatever screen name?

Pretty much any email that ends with that question just gets deleted, at least for me. I'm not giving someone my contact info without knowing them a little better.

_____________________________

~brittany~

(in reply to Usako)

Post #: 11

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/24/2008 5:41:19 AM

Twicehappy2x

Posts: 1096
Joined: 3/27/2007
Status: offline

You know i always open contact with a personal email. But once it appears we might be compatible i have a series of three form letters i use. One is your typical questionnaire, one is a description of where/how we live and relate to each other, one is a 'now that you are coming to visit" letter.

I am upfront that these three are form letters. There is a lot of info in them and to have to rethink then retype all of that every time is just too much.

So form letters are not always a bad thing.

_____________________________

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to mydniterose)

Post #: 12

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/24/2008 6:17:56 AM

Soyokaze

Posts: 390
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

The funniest I've gotten would start by talking about how insightful and well written my profile was and they could really connect with what I wrote... back when my profile was like 2 sentences with almost no info about me...

(in reply to Twicehappy2x)

Post #: 13

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/24/2008 6:45:16 AM

Menardgcrebs

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/1/2005
Status: offline

I believe that this is referred to as "trawling" or, more colloquially, "trolling." All the same, yeah, they do work about as often as any other spam message works. Yes, spam message, mass-mailed, lacking in actual content, and a very low success rate.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 14

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/24/2008 10:47:49 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

One major thing about a form letter...it will never mention anything about your profile, likes, or dislikes. I had a blank profile for awhile and got letters telling me that they felt we had a lot in common...without of course listing those items in common. Had a super long one on alt which went on and on and on about all his kinks...and finally mentioned that he wished to gaze into my blue eyes. With the extra spaces around the word "blue" it was obviously added to a form letter. I've had form letters that say how pretty I am and I don't have a picture posted. A form letter is very generic in that it can be written to many and says nothing about your own profile.

(in reply to MistressXahDee)

Post #: 15

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/24/2008 10:58:12 AM

MistressXahDee

Posts: 43
Joined: 4/29/2008
From: San Diego, Ca.
Status: offline

Oh, darn and here I thought some subs actually put forth some effort. Now that I think back, I have seen more than a few come to my email box.
Lazy, just lazy

And the ones that ask for my aol/yahoo...yes, a big old 'DELETE' for those inquiries.

Thanks for the examples.

MX

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 16

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 12/24/2008 11:05:42 AM

devotedinSD

Posts: 91
Joined: 11/30/2008
Status: offline

I suppose they sometimes do, considering how much they're used. I don't like receiving them.

(in reply to mydniterose)

Post #: 17

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 1/1/2009 7:53:17 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

not to toot my own horn or whatever, but this is a journal entry I've received a lot of positive response from regarding this topic. Hope you enjoy....

It's funny, in the last two years or so that I've been on this site, I've looked at a million profiles. At least half of them have had something to the effect of 'NO ONE LINERS OR FORM LETTERS OR THIS OR THAT,' referring to the plethora of goofball male submissives who apparently just cut and paste Dommes in an attempt to email every single Dominant woman in a 3000 mile radius.

Even if this wasn't explicitly stated in a woman's profile, common sense dictates that if you'd like to connect with someone on some level, it's good to make it a point to stand out and hopefully touch upon something that makes them want to get to know you better.

I know, I'm onto some Nobel Prize winning research here.

So In these two years, I've written probably a dozen women who I felt it would be worth investing some time and effort to get to know. I'm very selective in who I write and am looking for something special, not trying to machine gun out a bunch of crap in the hopes that someone will respond and then touch my ding ding.

I try and tailor each correspondence to what they had written in their profile, to show where we might be compatible, or where we seem similar in a non D/s sense.

Rarely do I even discuss the BDSM component in my introduction, as I feel it will be something that will develop if the chemistry is right.

So of the dozen to 15 introductory letters tat I've written in my two years, I've gotten a response to one of them.

Not fell madly in love, dated and broken up with one.

Not talked for a few weeks to find out we're not compatible with one.

Just a simple response, she was flattered but didn't think we'd be compatible.

I've actually had better luck making friends with the "scourge of the Earth"....Professional Dommes. I'm not even trying to meet them, just making friendly conversation and responding to things they've written.

Disclaimer: If you are a professional dominatrix, please don't let that preceding statement prevent you from falling madly in love with me. As a general rule, I just figure most of you are here for professional reasons. I could be wrong.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, maybe I haven't been sending out enough pictures of my cock with my letters? Something to think about.

I would have thought, however, that even if I were not compatible with someone or they just weren't interested, they would say thank you for the time and the obvious effort I hope is evident in what I've written.

I can personally say that I've answered every email I've ever received on this board that was sincere. I do so for two reasons. first, I know how much it sucks to spend any amount of time to write something and not have it responded to.

Secondly, I was raised right, and if my mother ever found out I received a sincere note from someone and didn't at least thank them, she'd punch me in the face.

Who knows, I might just be writing the wrong women? Maybe the ones I think I'll hit it off with are in fact the exact opposite of the type of person I'm looking for.

Maybe the cut and paste guys are on to something. Quantity over quality.

Throw enough poo against the wall and hopefully something sticks?

Maybe I'll write up a form letter tonight and take a picture of Little Napoleon to send out to every woman on the eastern seaboard aged 18-99. Maybe more than one will give me a 'thanks but no thanks.'

I wrote this about a year or so ago and since then my percentages have improved, but not by much. One thing I've gotten a bit of negative feedback from was my calling professionals the scourge of the Earth, that's not my opinion, just an exageration of what I seem to see on these message boards and sites. I like professional Dommes, my dream would be to marry one so when we filed income taxes we could write off sex toys and leather outfits. How cool is that?

_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to devotedinSD)

Post #: 18

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 1/1/2009 8:02:38 PM

ExKat

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline

In defense of form letters, a lot of times, someone can be writing to a person with literally no profile. Although I do my damnedest to write letters that are personalized and amazing, sometimes it's pretty hard when the profile says, "Looking for a dom younger than 50," and the only interests are the first page: amusement parks, ren fairs, etc. At that point, I can understand sending a generic, "I am so and so, looking for such and such," letter.

But, yeah, we get our share of really terrible ones... one sub has sent us his letter three seperate times. At this point, I assume he just must like me trashing him for his terrible grammar and spelling and his horrible letter.

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
testing
"That's the plan/ Rule the world/ You and me/ Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)

Post #: 19

RE: Do "form letters" ever work? - 1/2/2009 2:38:22 AM

RainydayNE

Posts: 978
Joined: 10/21/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Soyokaze

The funniest I've gotten would start by talking about how insightful and well written my profile was and they could really connect with what I wrote... back when my profile was like 2 sentences with almost no info about me...

i got one like that, it was long and heroic sounding, saying that it really connected with what was written on my profile, it actually read the whole thing, and it knows that alot of guys don't do that, and blah blah blah blah blah =p
not hard to read the whole thing when it's like 3 sentences, one of which says "not seeking"
silliness

(in reply to Soyokaze)

Post #: 20

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