RE: Would you woo another dominant?

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NormalOutside -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/24/2008 4:31:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility Would you woo another dominant and jump through whatever hoops he has set up to talk to or meet a submissive here? No, and I doubt anyone else does either, generally speaking. I think those profiles are just that way because the dominant is being possessive and controlling (as we tend to do). It's mostly between the dominant and their submissive, a way to say "we're together, fuck off, I'm so powerful and she's so weak but I can protect us from you or anyone else who tries!" Kinda lame imo, but there it is. Pretty common sight, too.

Lashra -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/24/2008 5:23:44 PM)
Nope if she/he (the sub) cannot sift through her/his own emails and make the decision of who to correspond with then I am not interested. I like subs who are intelligent and can make good decisions on their own, not ones who need someone else to babysit them in their relationship choices. ~Lashra

Lockit -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/24/2008 5:28:32 PM)
No. I call the shots in my life and no other dominant is going to give me permission to do anything. Besides that, I am looking for a grown up person.

BitaTruble -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/24/2008 5:30:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility A questions for the dominant types among us but all opinions are welcome. Just glanced at a new (to me) profile that popped up when I logged in for a submissive female. Her profile states that her account is monitored by a male dominant friend who will field all emails to her and evaluate them. A few requirements and questions to be answered were included in the instructions. I didn't bother reading the full profile - just what popped up in the scroll window. Would you woo another dominant and jump through whatever hoops he has set up to talk to or meet a submissive here? I'm going to gather from the way I worded that question that the brighter souls among you can surmise my answer, but I am interested in yours. Everyone has the option to set up their own rules for how others interact with them. Personally, if I couldn't trust my own judgement enough to speak to people directly, I would wonder at my ability to trust my judgement in even choosing someone else to intercede on my behalf. To each their own, however. If I don't like such a scenario, I have the option of moving on. If the other person is intriguing enough, I might jump through a hoop or two if need be .. maybe even one of those flaming jobbers just cuz they look so cool in the dark. [8D] It's not something that would be my first inclination.. but it's not a deal breaker either. Ultimately, I guess my answer is.. it depends.

CatdeMedici -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/25/2008 4:27:03 AM)
quote: Would you woo another dominant ? That's My hard limit! quote: and jump through whatever hoops he has set up to talk to or meet a submissive here? Why? I respect the relationship, although I have no problems if someone wants to chat with My sub---if he can't be trusted, then I've chosen poorly.

MmeGigs -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/25/2008 5:22:15 AM)
I wouldn't mind if someone I contacted had a confidante reading their emails and helping them sort out likely baddies, or even had someone else checking their email and doing the initial sort for them. There are weirdos and con-artists out there, and they can be tough to spot. I don't see anything at all wrong with having someone you trust watching your back in this way. When I'm busy or not in the mood I have my hubby screen my mail. When I'm undecided about how to respond to an email, I run it by him to get his take on it. I assume that folks I write to might share my emails with others. Having said that, I would never contact someone through a third party. Seeing that requirement in a profile is a bit of a turn-off. Why the big pronouncement when they could do this discretely? It seems unneccessarily dramatic, particularly when it's framed in protocol-speak, as it usually is. I don't know if I even want to meet them yet, and it feels like we're already starting a scene... Too fast for me.

agnostic -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/25/2008 5:31:40 AM)
It's basically a requirement for me to have Habibi (my best Friend) meet/approve of anyone I get heavily involved with, but I at least make it through the preliminary "Hi how ya doin? Nice to meet ya. Sure, I'd love to have dinner with you" stuff before I go bothering Him about it. It's kinda like a "meet the parents" deal, only with Him (unlike with my parents), it's "make it or break it".

LaTigresse -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/25/2008 6:30:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility A questions for the dominant types among us but all opinions are welcome. Just glanced at a new (to me) profile that popped up when I logged in for a submissive female. Her profile states that her account is monitored by a male dominant friend who will field all emails to her and evaluate them. A few requirements and questions to be answered were included in the instructions. I didn't bother reading the full profile - just what popped up in the scroll window. Would you woo another dominant and jump through whatever hoops he has set up to talk to or meet a submissive here? I'm going to gather from the way I worded that question that the brighter souls among you can surmise my answer, but I am interested in yours. No. I am an adult and only interested in other adults.

Stephann -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/25/2008 12:42:25 PM)
Howdy, I got an email from a lovely young submissive about a year ago, who was interested in meeting and playing. She mentioned she was in a long distance relationship with her dominant, and that she had his permission to play with whomever she liked, subject to his approval. Her profile read similarly to the one you mentioned; lots of hoops, possibly a lot of drama, but the interaction she and I had in chat was enjoyable. We met for lunch, hit it off well, and had a great time for the following few months. Her guy was friendly, we talked now and then on the phone, and all in all it was a positive experience for everyone. I think my experience was the exception, not the rule. Stephan

Lordandmaster -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/25/2008 12:52:11 PM)
I'd be respectful and inform the custodian dominant that I'm going to talk to the sub. At that point, if the sub insists on keeping her custodian's hoops, I'm out. quote: ORIGINAL: Evility Would you woo another dominant and jump through whatever hoops he has set up to talk to or meet a submissive here?

ResidentSadist -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/25/2008 6:53:36 PM)
Yes. I was raised to believe that you must win the favor of a girl’s (submissive’s) parents (guardian/dom) to successfully continue dating her. A girl comes with family and the union is of the two families, not just two people... even if it is her chosen leather family not just her biological family.

Jeptha -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/26/2008 8:23:17 PM)
Practically speaking, no, chances are I wouldn't be interested in pursuing something via a "gatekeeper". However - if they had something to offer that really interested me, and I considered their requests for hoop jumping to be within reason - and if they were personable about it and perhaps willing to jump through a hoop or two of my own, then I might very well consider it. I understand that people can have all kinds of freaky things that they'd like to do and correspondingly weird criteria set up in their minds to allow them to feel safe in pursuing those things. So while I might view it as unlikely, I wouldn't give it an automatic "no" without seeing the situation first.

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/26/2008 8:30:42 PM)
well well so we hit another twisted conncept of artsy fartsy stuff label cops are comming for ya lol to me if your own by another how can how can you be a true dom or domme sounds mor switch but shrugs what ever i like structure makes for less drama

KnightofMists -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/26/2008 9:06:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility Would you woo another dominant and jump through whatever hoops he has set up to talk to or meet a submissive here? only if she is going to put out when I want to fuck her up the ass or anywhere else I so choose... not to mention other unmentionable things!!!

PanthersMom -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/26/2008 9:17:12 PM)
i've had dominants approach me and when i've rejected them i usually get asked why. would they want to be submissive to me? so why would i want to be submissive to them? PM

Padriag -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/26/2008 9:41:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Evility Would you woo another dominant and jump through whatever hoops he has set up to talk to or meet a submissive here? Woo? No. On the other hand I have on rare occasion spoken with another dominant who was acting as a "guardian" or chaperone for a particular submissive. None of those occasions was online, which may be worth noting. In one case that particularly stands out in my memory the guardian, a domme, did not much interfere with my interactions with the submissive... there were some basic ground rules regarding initial contact, first meeting and a few other things. The domme also made sure the courtship didn't intefere with the submissive's life... she still had to be in bed on time, take care of her job and responsibilites, etc. Once I had earned the respect and trust of the domme, she was as much a matchmaker as a chaperone, and at times was my advocate. But like a few others who have had similar experiences, it seems to me that my experience is more the exception than the rule.

GoddessTeaze -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/27/2008 4:38:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven I'm going to swim against the tide here. I have been in this situation twice, from both sides. Once, I contacted a couple that were overseeing a slave. she had a history of bad judgment and they offered to screen for her. I passed the screening but decided that her kids were too out of control for me. Another time, I helped a sub screen answers from prospective Doms after she met one who raped her. It was an eye opener to see some of the idiots who called themselves Doms - my favorite was the guy who wanted a no limits lave, and when I asked how much experience he had, he told me that he had been in the Army and had seen everything. she ended up bypassing me to meet up with some guy who stated that he was above being judged by others. That ended up badly. To answer your question - no, I would have no problem jumping through hoops if they were reasonable. I so like what I read here, It shows that you're kindhearted DarkSteven, and willing to listen, and truly care about people. I wonder who on earth is problemfree in this world, Wwe all got stuff to learn, and it's a part of Domination to guide subs to become stronger and happier. Ofcourse there is a huge difference with dramaqueens, which no one is waiting for. Thank You kindly DarkSteven for hearing Your side. Warm Greetingz GoddezzT`

GoddessTeaze -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/27/2008 4:46:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agnostic It's basically a requirement for me to have Habibi (my best Friend) meet/approve of anyone I get heavily involved with, but I at least make it through the preliminary "Hi how ya doin? Nice to meet ya. Sure, I'd love to have dinner with you" stuff before I go bothering Him about it. It's kinda like a "meet the parents" deal, only with Him (unlike with my parents), it's "make it or break it". Good on you agnostic!! b safe GoddezzT`

StrangerThan -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/27/2008 5:52:20 AM)
My initial reaction to this question is fairly well stated by SimplyMichael. Having said that, I've been "used" as a guardian type before. A couple of years ago I mentored a woman who had some serious issues going on in her life. Note, mentoring did not include sex or anything sexual. It mostly included setting a structure for our interaction then simply talking her through the problems she had. We did a lot of talking, massive amounts of talking where words like Sir, Master were never used as I wasn't her Sir or Master. I was someone who had a different perspective who took the time to help her see it and see her decisions for what they were. That time period is probably one of the things I'm proudest of in life. We accomplished a lot mostly because she truly wanted and needed to make changes in her life - not because I have been granted knowledge to all things arcane and mysterious. We learned to like each other in the process and it ended where it should have ended, where we didn't need to walk through the mazes to get answers, she just explained her decisions. A while later she told me she was telling prospective Doms that she had a guardian, with the biggest reason being to give herself time to learn someone before having to deal with a lot of demands. Seems the idea of someone else hanging around in the background gave her time to do that and warded off most of the ones who were just looking for a quick fuck. So I can see the usefulness I guess. Personally though, I'd never jump through hoops for another Dominant.

secretmaster22 -> RE: Would you woo another dominant? (12/27/2008 11:37:36 AM)
As a new dominant I have to interject and see if the way I handle things is typical of a dom/sub relationship if there is such a thing. I allow my sub to talk with whomever she wishes. She can talk about whatever she wants to talk about. But in the end, if she finds someone she desires to be with, then he must approach me and ask if it's alright to be with my dominant in something further than a friendship. I usually try to make sure it is someone I trust, but generally trust my submissives opinions on that. I also give some guidelines for what they may not do, which are nothing complicated, usually things like no kissing on the lips, and no collars may be used. Just enough to let the person know that I am the owner of this beautiful woman, and he is mearly borrowing her, because it brings me great joy to know she is having fun. I also inform them that she is required to tell me everything that took place and how it made her feel, for the simple case of me discovering more about her and her desires, and for her own personal discovery. By doing so I am also able to in a small way take part in the act itself by giving her permission to do it. Some people I may decide may only play with her while I am present. It just depends on the feel I get from them and what I desire at the time. If it doesn't work out, then we move on. None of this seems unreasonable to me, but maybe it wreaks of inexperience? Ya'll tell me what you think?

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