RE: Family

RE: Family (Full Version)

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came4U -> RE: Family (12/25/2008 11:32:05 PM)
Sigh. It is their home, they can invite whomever they want to. This is all just too weird.

Hippiekinkster -> RE: Family (12/25/2008 11:51:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LittleMissModern I expected the bitchy responses, and to those who felt the need to post them--- Fuck you. I'm 22. I don't have kids yet (completely by choice and good decision making), and if you had walked in my shoes all this time, you'd have the exact same feelings that I do about this stuff. I can be as "selfish" and "me me me" as I want. I'm not perfect. I don't ever expect to be. Oh, boy. Do you seriously think you are the only person in the universe who has ever hit a few speedbumps in life? Do you? You ever have a sick abusive stepmother whose notion of home remedies for any ailment at all was an enema? Ever have your mother split on you when you were two? Ever have to keep running away because it was either that or be beaten all the time? Do I need to go on? Are you getting a lot of mileage out of your sniveling? Do you feel speshul in your martyrdom? [sm=boohoo.gif][sm=AttentionWhore.gif] [sm=jerry.gif][sm=cheerleader.gif] quote: _______________________________________________________________________________________ The day was spent with my brother making remarks regarding him having sex with his girlfriend... "i know where you can touch to get whatever you want" and other such things were said throughout the day... along with excessive amounts of making out, and other touchy-feely stuff that was completely unncecssary and inappropriate. It has nothing to do with being jealous of them, at all. I'm upset because she was invited after 3 months, and I've never been ALLOWED to bring anyone. I've asked, they've said no... no matter how long of a relationship it had been. Luckily the drunk lady didn't show up. It would have been even more of a mess. The ham was burnt, the salad was gone by the time it got to me, and there was virtually no turkey... but my Aunt (the host of the gathering... not my mother like most of you have stated) wasn't quite as big of a bitch as usual. It infuriates me that my cousin gets the $200+ coach purse I had on my "list" and I get a hat (I can't remember the last time I wore a hat... maybe when I was 12). It was a sparkly hat, though, so I guess that counts for something. Things haven't been anywhere close to fair in my life since I turned 13. If I wrote a post at length about my life for the past (nearly) 10 years, it would be better understood. The ONLY place it has EVER been about me since then is within myself, and someone has to give a shit about me... if I didn't, no one would. Maybe you should volunteer to help some shut-ins at an assisted living facility, or work in a soup kitchen for vets for a while, learn what hardship and deprivation really are. $200 purse. Waaaaah! Ever hear of thrift shops? Waaaah!

slaveboyforyou -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 12:08:26 AM)
quote: I expected the bitchy responses, and to those who felt the need to post them--- Fuck you. I'm 22. I don't have kids yet (completely by choice and good decision making), and if you had walked in my shoes all this time, you'd have the exact same feelings that I do about this stuff. I can be as "selfish" and "me me me" as I want. I'm not perfect. I don't ever expect to be. You know, "bitchy responses" are part of posting on a message board to strangers. Trust me, I know all about it. I gave you a perfectly reasonable response, and so did many others. You are not the only one that had a crappy Christmas. I spent my Christmas with my younger brother, who is the most selfish prick you'd ever want to meet. I cooked us both supper, and I bought beer for both of us. I just woke up a little while ago, and my fucking truck is gone. He asked me to take him to his girlfriend's earlier, and I told him no. I'd been drinking, and I didn't want to drive. I went to sleep, and he took my fucking keys. Now I'm sitting here wondering whether I should call the cops or not. My brother is an addict, and it's not outside the realm of possibility that I won't see my only transportation again. So please spare me this pity party nonsense. It's tough all over, and a lot of us have dysfunctional families.

TheVoiceofOne -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 1:08:52 AM)
I am gonna go ahead and go with my first instinct on this one... Your father should give you a good, hard spanking and then lecture you on your "place"... How did you get the idea that it is any of your business who your parents invite to their party, just be glad they still invite you at all. It probably won't be long until they don't. Grow up, stop acting like a little baby, and maybe the other grown ups will treat you like one of them someday.

thishereboi -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 4:51:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LittleMissModern I expected the bitchy responses, and to those who felt the need to post them--- Fuck you. I'm 22 Then quit posting like your 12 . I don't have kids yet (completely by choice and good decision making), and if you had walked in my shoes all this time, you'd have the exact same feelings that I do about this stuff. I can be as "selfish" and "me me me" as I want. I'm not perfect. I don't ever expect to be. Good choice on the kids, probibly better to wait until you grow up a bit. _______________________________________________________________________________________ The day was spent with my brother making remarks regarding him having sex with his girlfriend... "i know where you can touch to get whatever you want" and other such things were said throughout the day... along with excessive amounts of making out, and other touchy-feely stuff that was completely unncecssary and inappropriate. OK so your brother is just as immature as you are.....get over it. It has nothing to do with being jealous of them, at all. I'm upset because she was invited after 3 months, and I've never been ALLOWED to bring anyone. I've asked, they've said no... no matter how long of a relationship it had been. maybe there is a good reason for that, but this is another one, you will just have to get over. Luckily the drunk lady didn't show up. It would have been even more of a mess. The ham was burnt, the salad was gone by the time it got to me, and there was virtually no turkey... but my Aunt (the host of the gathering... not my mother like most of you have stated) wasn't quite as big of a bitch as usual. Did you bring any food? Have you ever cooked dinner for that many people? Did you offer to help in anyway or was your contribution purely bitching? It infuriates me that my cousin gets the $200+ coach purse I had on my "list" and I get a hat (I can't remember the last time I wore a hat... maybe when I was 12). It was a sparkly hat, though, so I guess that counts for something. Well you need to sit down and write Santa a real long hate letter, maybe next year he will bring you something better. After all Christmas is about what you get, isn't it? Things haven't been anywhere close to fair in my life since I turned 13. If I wrote a post at length about my life for the past (nearly) 10 years, it would be better understood. The ONLY place it has EVER been about me since then is within myself, and someone has to give a shit about me... if I didn't, no one would. Who told you life was going to be fair?

sirsholly -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 5:14:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LittleMissModern I expected the bitchy responses, and to those who felt the need to post them--- Fuck you. I'm 22. then act like it I don't have kids yet (completely by choice and good decision making), and if you had walked in my shoes all this time, you'd have the exact same feelings that I do about this stuff. I can be as "selfish" and "me me me" as I want.no kiddin?[8\|] I'm not perfect. I don't ever expect to be. _______________________________________________________________________________________ The day was spent with my brother making remarks regarding him having sex with his girlfriend... "i know where you can touch to get whatever you want" and other such things were said throughout the day... along with excessive amounts of making out, and other touchy-feely stuff that was completely unncecssary and inappropriate. So you either walk away or ask them to knock it off It has nothing to do with being jealous of them, at all. I'm upset because she was invited after 3 months, and I've never been ALLOWED to bring anyone. I've asked, they've said no... no matter how long of a relationship it had been. It sounds like jealousy to me...the high-school, petty kind. Luckily the drunk lady didn't show up. It would have been even more of a mess. The ham was burnt, the salad was gone by the time it got to me, and there was virtually no turkey... but my Aunt (the host of the gathering... not my mother like most of you have stated) wasn't quite as big of a bitch as usual. So what? I have burned a ham or two. And as for no salad...you'll live. It infuriates me that my cousin gets the $200+ coach purse I had on my "list" and I get a hat (I can't remember the last time I wore a hat... maybe when I was 12). It was a sparkly hat, though, so I guess that counts for something. Again with the high-school jealousy. Things haven't been anywhere close to fair in my life since I turned 13. If I wrote a post at length about my life for the past (nearly) 10 years, it would be better understood. The ONLY place it has EVER been about me since then is within myself, and someone has to give a shit about me... if I didn't, no one would. Cool...next time stay home and you will have nothing to bitch about. Also...this was NOT your home. You did not host and therefore have jack-shit to say about who the hostess invites. When you host a holiday dinner, and do all the work involved, you can invite whoever you want. And as far as someone getting a Coach purse that you wanted...GROW UP!!!!

Roselaure -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 5:23:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sirsholly quote: ORIGINAL: LittleMissModern I expected the bitchy responses, and to those who felt the need to post them--- Fuck you. I'm 22. then act like it I don't have kids yet (completely by choice and good decision making), and if you had walked in my shoes all this time, you'd have the exact same feelings that I do about this stuff. I can be as "selfish" and "me me me" as I want.no kiddin?[8\|] I'm not perfect. I don't ever expect to be. _______________________________________________________________________________________ The day was spent with my brother making remarks regarding him having sex with his girlfriend... "i know where you can touch to get whatever you want" and other such things were said throughout the day... along with excessive amounts of making out, and other touchy-feely stuff that was completely unncecssary and inappropriate. So you either walk away or ask them to knock it off It has nothing to do with being jealous of them, at all. I'm upset because she was invited after 3 months, and I've never been ALLOWED to bring anyone. I've asked, they've said no... no matter how long of a relationship it had been. It sounds like jealousy to me...the high-school, petty kind. Luckily the drunk lady didn't show up. It would have been even more of a mess. The ham was burnt, the salad was gone by the time it got to me, and there was virtually no turkey... but my Aunt (the host of the gathering... not my mother like most of you have stated) wasn't quite as big of a bitch as usual. So what? I have burned a ham or two. And as for no salad...you'll live. It infuriates me that my cousin gets the $200+ coach purse I had on my "list" and I get a hat (I can't remember the last time I wore a hat... maybe when I was 12). It was a sparkly hat, though, so I guess that counts for something. Again with the high-school jealousy. Things haven't been anywhere close to fair in my life since I turned 13. If I wrote a post at length about my life for the past (nearly) 10 years, it would be better understood. The ONLY place it has EVER been about me since then is within myself, and someone has to give a shit about me... if I didn't, no one would. Cool...next time stay home and you will have nothing to bitch about. Also...this was NOT your home. You did not host and therefore have jack-shit to say about who the hostess invites. When you host a holiday dinner, and do all the work involved, you can invite whoever you want. And as far as someone getting a Coach purse that you wanted...GROW UP!!!! Spot on Holly. My gosh, anyone, ANYONE who has ever had a family has been disappointed by them at one time or another. Everyone has their own problems and issues and past and present hurts to cope with. Everyone knows the person who cuddles and nurtures her list of personal grievances until they become their whole life. And you know something? Nobody wants to be around that person. I think it's the Coach bag that put me over the top here.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 5:27:22 AM)
"What food did you bring?" was a good point, too. Nothing makes problems go away as well as taking care of them. And if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the... the... the unsolved thingie.

sirsholly -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 5:27:30 AM)
Thanks, Roselaure. What gets me is the op does not realize that the holidays are not about a burned ham, lack of lettuce, or what gift someone else unwraps. How sad that, by the time she wakes up and realizes it is about the love you share with others, her parents may not be here and the rest of the group may be entirely too fed up with her petty behavior to invite her to their gathering.

sirsholly -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 5:37:48 AM)
and OP? Lemme tell you...i have a two yr old. If he got upset over an empty salad bowl, or WHINED because someone got a gift he wanted, he would find his little fanny in the corner...recieving a WELL DESERVED time-out!

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 5:42:48 AM)
wow! i see Ebeneezer Scrooge is still alive and well in the modern age! you need to check your attitude first of all. your parents' invited your brother's gf into their home ...see that magic word there - it's THEIR home. they have the right to invite, gift, etc etc etc whomever they like ...and since you do not live there - you have no say in whom receives an invitation to dinner. if the dinner was held at your (oh another magic word here) place - then you can invite and uninvite anyone you damn well please. however, since this was a problem for you, you could have bitched about this over dinner or during yuletide toasting ...what a good way to start a holiday riff within your family. after that fiasco, you'll probably find yourself alone eating your meals for one because your nasty attitude towards your parents' guest. have you ever thought they're extending a gesture of goodwill and welcoming her into the family despite not knowing everything about the relationship? i have no problems with my mom giving gifts to my brothers' gfs and nothing for my pet. ...i have no qualms about her inviting extra guests into her home and sharing the dinner prepared with strangers. should i protest that my brothers sometimes bring their thug friends to have dinner with us. i could but unlike you, i won't. it's my mother's house and all are welcome to dine with us ...even if they have families to spend the holidays with. edit to add: after reading your synopsis of dinner with your family, i have concluded that you're nothing but a spoiled brat! your bitchfest about how the ham was burnt and there was no salad when it reached you (big fuckin' deal - some families probably didn't get that much for their holiday dinner ...be grateful you had a holiday dinner ...others went without) and the "oh my gosh, my cousin got the 200+ Coach purse and i got this sparkly hat" whine (PUL-EEEEEEEEEZE! give me the damn hat so i can wear it to keep warm in Chicago ...i didn't get much under the tree however i'm happy and grateful for what was given to me!).

purepleasure -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:11:53 AM)
I would have been thrilled beyond joy imaginable to spend time with either of my parents for Christmas. It would not have mattered if there was a huge feast, or nothing to eat at all. As for gifts, to spend just a moment with them would have been priceless and worth more than anything to me. But then, the only way I can ever spend time with them is through memories, as they have both passed away. I can only hope that it's not the material items one may give or receive, or the food that one might consume, that's important. It is being able to spend time with people that have a special place in your heart.

DarkSteven -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:14:15 AM)
LittleMissModern, would it be possible for you to host next year? Your rules, your guest list, your cooking.

angelikaJ -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:17:29 AM)
A "EUREKA" moment. To the OP... I believe you: that something terrible happened to you while you were growing up... because I can see that it really IS all about you. Life is going to be bringing you some very unexpected and nasty surprises. If You are unhappy with your relationships, with the way communication works (or evidently in your case doesn't) then at some point you may realise that there is a common factor...it is you. Perhaps you should seek the help of a therapist to undo the damage. It must be very difficult to live in your world with that particular construct...to be that egocentric. And the sad thing is you aren't even aware of what it is you are missing.... caring for other people without an agenda or watching the joy on someone's face when YOU give them a special gift on Christmas.

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:19:36 AM)
material things are momentary ...love between family and friends last a lifetime

sirsholly -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:27:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl material things are momentary ...love between family and friends last a lifetime truer words were never spoken[:)]

GreedyTop -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:34:33 AM)
~FR~ I havent read the whole thread... so if this has been said, too bad, because it is a point I think the OP should keep in mind... QUIT your whining! Poor deprived thing!! How HORRIBLE it is that you have family that you CAN spend Christmas with! It's absolutely TRAGIC that your family is close enough to you to be able to spend the day with them... GAWD!! My father is dead, none of my grandparents are still alive, and the rest of the family is so scattered (and either having to work, as I did, or too broke to travel). DO you have any idea what some of us would give to have even 15 minutes with family? Warts and all??

LadyPact -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:53:05 AM)
OP, let Me tell you something that I tell My own grown daughter who no longer lives with Me. In My home, I pay My bills, and make the rules to My house. She doesn't get to make the decisions for My life, only hers. I invite who I want here and am not required to invite people that I don't want in My home. If she doesn't approve of My choices, that's perfectly ok. She has a life and a home of her own where she gets to do things differently. To continue, I happen to have more than one offspring. I can tell you that, due to the choices of who each of them choses to associate with, and the type of character their friends have always had, I'd be much more likely to invite the people linked with one rather than the other. The male just has a better judge of character in others. Period. It might be the same case here, even if you're not seeing it. I haven't read the other thread you referenced. I only have My opinion of you in this thread to go by. I think you've come across as very childish, selfish, and self-centered. I will give you the credit of being honest about this fact (the me, me, me part) so at least you're aware of it. However, these attributes wouldn't exactly having Me jumping up and down to invite into My home the company you keep.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:53:39 AM)
Just a point of interest - one Christmas Day, many years ago, in a country far far away, my parents decided they wanted a family portrait, since we were all home for the first time in forever. The photographer was invited to dinner. One brother thought this was terribly inappropriate, make his feelings known in no uncertain terms, and was shouted down in typical family fashion. She came and ate, took photos (beautiful ones too), and left. Brother had a bad day, the rest of us had a wonderful day and a great meal, and if you look at the photos brother is looking a tad pissed off. Let me recap here - brother was pissed off, the rest of us had a wonderful day. Read and learn, grasshopper. edited for grammer.[:)]

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: Family (12/26/2008 6:55:42 AM)
LittleMissModern, Your post actually made me cry. I'm sitting here missing my parents and aunts so damn much, that I WISH I could have attended a Christmas party with them and all their quirkiness. At 22, I was married and pregnant with my second child. Possibly not good planning and stupid on my part, but my boys were here with me, and even though I didn't have a dime to buy a single present -they were happy to be home and with their mom and not one of them threw a tantrum or complained because they didn't get what they wanted for Christmas. Guess it was because the ham was delicious and they don't like salad? My points here are numerous. You dictate your own mindset. My children could have been wallowing in self pity because their mom is too poor to buy presents (I was laid off from work the week of Thanksgiving), but instead we spent a lovely day playing games and I scraped up enough money to take them to see a movie. It was a great day. I'm glad my children aren't as selfish as you. My son's girlfriend broke up with him on Christmas day,and he had enough respect for me not to let his own heartbreak ruin everyone elses Christmas. I know its hard to feel slighted. I do understand that you want equitable affection from your parents, but I don't understand your expectation of entitlement. Perhaps it comes with being wealthy? I don't know.

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