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CaringandReal -> RE: The Key Ingredient(s) (12/28/2008 11:04:59 AM)
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I'm not going to say "compatibility" because to me, compatibility is the entire baked concoction and all other traits are merely ingredients of it. For me, the largest slices of the compatibility pie, in descending order, are:
1. Intense need to control
Not desire or want. Not even intense interest in. Has to be a need.
2. More Intelligence
I don't particularly care where someone stands on an IQ test, a dominant's brain just has to be a bit smarter than mine in order to implement (1.) above.
3. I get one more? Wow, this feels like a fairytale. ;) Let's see... it'll have to be... no... yes... hm... Balls.
Metaphorically speaking, of course, as I can fully envision winding up with a female dominant instead of a male--I'm not picky about the plumbing. Oh, and steel is preferred. They'll need them when dealing with me. (Hmm... was that TMI? ;) )
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Oh! Why do they inspire me more than others? I missed that part of the question prior to posting. Let's see. I'm not sure inspire is the exact word, although it does come close, at least in one case. #1 is just a requirement, a got-to-have to make the relationship work. If you're intent upon baking an apple pie, you need apples and not rhubarb, no? But this is in place, every other emotion and experience that I crave can also be there. They might not be, that depends on the dominant, but they could be. It's like gasoline for the car. When there's some in the tank the car will go places, but where it goes is up to the driver.
While #2 is another practical requirement, as it insures that #1 will work, it can at times be inspiring, in an "awe" sort of way. :)
Again, I chose #3 for practical reasons. While I would love to have a dominant with a sense of humor (I've seen my fair share of humorless dominants--shudder!), and honesty really, really helps a relationship get through the rough spots, and while self-awareness is like the spice in the recipie--it adds a piquant flavor that you can't get any other way, none of these seemed as basic and necessary to the success of the type of relationship I seek as that collection of traits (guts, courage, steely resolve, stubbornness, agressiveness) characterized by a pair.
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