RE: The Key Ingredient(s)

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 10:25:26 AM

Mercnbeth

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My "key ingredients" that beth represented:

Self awareness, acceptance, and understanding
Confidence & Strength
Integrity

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 10:42:42 AM

NefertariReborn

Posts: 381
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1. Honesty/Integrity (Mean what you say and say what you mean. Spare Me the drama and la la!)

2. Intelligence of all kinds (He doesn't have to be able to have Socratic debates with Me but he must be knowledgeable, passionate about his area of expertise; and be informed especially about politics - left leaning liberals preferred.)

3. Be manly - very manly at all times. (Sorry but men in lipstick, dresses, panties and bras squick Me. No need to write to defend your fetish. Live and let live just not in My house.)

4 Humour - Unclench! I love to laugh and someone who was gloomy and super serious would not stand a chance.

5. Compatability - I don't need a siamese twin. I need My space but I would like someone who shared some of My vanilla interests.

*yes I can count but someone did 4. Why not 5? They are of equal importance to Me.

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 10:45:31 AM

JustDarkness

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When I look for a person...mm..I actually have not a list with wishes in my mind.
(not sure if I should write the above 3 times...lol)

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Post #: 23

RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 10:50:42 AM

brownbutterfly

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/8/2008
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Honesty
Humor
Compatability

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Post #: 24

RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 10:53:06 AM

sarahanna

Posts: 14
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I guess mine aren't that different from everyone else.

Sense of humor - without laughter we are nothing.
Trust - from both sides, you have trust that the other won't hurt you and that if you have done something wrong that the other will forgive you for it. Everything is based on trust.
Compatibility - on all levels, cause if you don't fit, it won't work.

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 10:56:15 AM

Venalismihi

Posts: 63
Joined: 1/28/2008
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Intelligence.
Self-awareness.
Honesty.

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 11:04:38 AM

KonDomme

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This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

With relationships, as with so many aspects of life, honesty is undoubtedly the best policy.

Truth extend from honesty, good faith, and sincerity in general, to agreement with fact or reality in particular.

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 11:04:59 AM

CaringandReal

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I'm not going to say "compatibility" because to me, compatibility is the entire baked concoction and all other traits are merely ingredients of it. For me, the largest slices of the compatibility pie, in descending order, are:

1. Intense need to control
Not desire or want. Not even intense interest in. Has to be a need.

2. More Intelligence
I don't particularly care where someone stands on an IQ test, a dominant's brain just has to be a bit smarter than mine in order to implement (1.) above.

3. I get one more? Wow, this feels like a fairytale. ;) Let's see... it'll have to be... no... yes... hm... Balls.
Metaphorically speaking, of course, as I can fully envision winding up with a female dominant instead of a male--I'm not picky about the plumbing. Oh, and steel is preferred. They'll need them when dealing with me. (Hmm... was that TMI? ;) )

...

Oh! Why do they inspire me more than others? I missed that part of the question prior to posting. Let's see. I'm not sure inspire is the exact word, although it does come close, at least in one case. #1 is just a requirement, a got-to-have to make the relationship work. If you're intent upon baking an apple pie, you need apples and not rhubarb, no? But this is in place, every other emotion and experience that I crave can also be there. They might not be, that depends on the dominant, but they could be. It's like gasoline for the car. When there's some in the tank the car will go places, but where it goes is up to the driver.

While #2 is another practical requirement, as it insures that #1 will work, it can at times be inspiring, in an "awe" sort of way. :)

Again, I chose #3 for practical reasons. While I would love to have a dominant with a sense of humor (I've seen my fair share of humorless dominants--shudder!), and honesty really, really helps a relationship get through the rough spots, and while self-awareness is like the spice in the recipie--it adds a piquant flavor that you can't get any other way, none of these seemed as basic and necessary to the success of the type of relationship I seek as that collection of traits (guts, courage, steely resolve, stubbornness, agressiveness) characterized by a pair.

< Message edited by CaringandReal -- 12/28/2008 11:27:21 AM >

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 11:31:35 AM

silkncarol

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I couldn't narrow it down to 3, so here's my 4....

1. Self confidence
2. Self awareness and acceptance
3. Shared moral and ethical values
4. Sense of humor

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 11:47:49 AM

ChainedExistence

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Intelligence:
    I love someone who can talk to me about nearly any subject, but also values learning from me, or letting me learn from him.
Creativity:
    The D/s aspect never gets boring, and he writes me the most amazing love letters.
Loving and lovable:
     He knows how to show love and how to accept it.

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Post #: 30

RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 11:51:26 AM

yourMissTress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Ok, we all admit we aren't perfect, however, there are key elements we look for. You can only choose three in your potential "other" what are they and why do those elements inspire you more than any others?

If you have an O/other already--what are the three elements that you adore, why do those keep you inspired?

Only three can be chosen.

Just three? In a whole entire person I can only pick three things I need? ugh, ok.

Integrity: Being true to yourself and your moral code, and the courage of conviction to remain as such regardless of the consequences.

Sense of humor: The ability to find humor in any situation, and being able to laugh at yourself.

Passion: Passion for life and living it to its fullest.

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 11:52:35 AM

kiwisub12

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Intelligent dominance
Humour diluted with tolerance
and
a joie de vie - a love of life and living, an ability to enjoy the every day activities, an appreciation for what we are given in our lives.

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 12:01:48 PM

Raechard

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I've loved different people for different reasons, I'd not say there were three things I valued more than any other.

There is only one thing:

Uniqueness from anything I’ve experienced before.

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 4:10:19 PM

whiteslavebitch

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1) He is very slow to anger. As a matter of fact I have never had him be angry at me in over three years. This is very important to me since my ex-husband was perpetually angry (or so it seemed) for the 23 years we were married. I don't ever want to "fear" someone like that again.

2) He must be (is) a sadistic dominant. Something in me craves pain and mild humiliation. This is essential to my sexual and emotional well being.

3) He must be (is) a self supporting, independant man. I cannot afford to support another person.

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"I give to you my everything, you've given me these loving wings." - DMB

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 4:20:17 PM

agirl

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Understanding
Acceptance
Similar outlook

I dont *adore* them.....but those are harder to come by than a lot of other things , as far as I'm concerned.

agirl

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 5:36:14 PM

yourMissTress

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Raechard

I've loved different people for different reasons, I'd not say there were three things I valued more than any other.

There is only one thing:

Uniqueness from anything I’ve experienced before.

While that is an incredibly romantic answer, I'd like to play devil's advocate here.

Since you are sitting up and breathing and reading and typing, I'm assuming that you've not had an experience with a serial killer who was trying to gut you using a fish scaling knife and tweezers either.

That would be unique to anything you've experienced.

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Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 5:37:29 PM

SylvereApLeanan

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Intelligence
Honesty
Has that geeky-cute appeal

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 5:44:49 PM

CatdeMedici

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OMG Tress You ARE wicked!

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 5:51:33 PM

Aszhrae

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Awareness = of each other, of what is expected
Understanding = of the other person, strengths and weaknesses
Perseverance = to become better in all pursuits, be it physical, mental and spiritual

Having these three traits that are shared, how can there not be chemistry and a bond between two people (D or M with sub/slave) or within a group such as with a couple or poly.

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RE: The Key Ingredient(s) - 12/28/2008 6:09:12 PM

MaamJay

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Three. Hmmm, tricky! Here they are:

Sense of humour
Shared values, outlook on life and most interests
Able to hold intelligent conversation

though I like a lot of the others that have been mentioned too!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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