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Confused - 12/28/2008 7:19:26 PM

neastsub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/28/2008
Status: offline

Hi,
I've enjoyed reading many different subjects throughout the forum.
However, I'm a bit unsure of something and am seeking advice. Thanks
for taking the time to read and respond.

A little over three years ago, I decided to take the step to see a Pro
Domme.

I will admit that when I started I may have been a bit selfish, looking to fulfill my own fantasies. But as time passed it has become more and more about my desire to serve and make my Goddess happy.

My Goddess has many other slaves and I'm very happy that she has accepted me into her life. While we session (maybe once or twice a month), my relationship with her has become quite special to me. Not only is she my Goddess to me but also someone who is there as a friend.

It's been a tremendous experience as I've grown in my submission with
her guidance. As a slave, I love the fact that I've met someone who is willing to explain things and teach me. And it's also fun and exciting as I learn about my Goddess' likes and dislikes as a person, not just a Domme. It's a very rewarding experience when I'm able to do something to make her smile.

Time has passed, but my feeling have grown immensley for her. When I'm
with her, there always is great sense of excitement and I'm so happy. When I'm not with her, I miss her. Even when I can't see her, I try to do little things such as sending messages, a gift, anything to try to make her happy.

One of my questions would have to be is it normal for a slave to have such deep feelings? It's now to the point that if I didn't have Goddess as part of my life, I don't think I could ever bring myself to serve someone else. She is so special in my eyes.

The one thing Goddess always has preached to me is communication (maybe
I'll answer my own question here). As my feelings have grown, I think
I've fallen in love with my Goddess.

I always tell Goddess that I adore, admire and think the world of her. However, I don't want to jeopardize what has become a special relationship by making her feel uncomfortable in any way. I'm afraid if I tell her I love her, I may do this. Then again, if I don't let these feelings known, then I'm hiding something and being dishonest.

I appreciate any advice on how I should proceed. And sorry for using the word "I" such much.

Thanks,
C

Post #: 1

RE: Confused - 12/28/2008 7:51:21 PM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

This sounds like a thread for Mal... even if the OP did not mention fisting.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to neastsub)

Post #: 2

RE: Confused - 12/28/2008 10:14:20 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

You will never know how she feels until you talk to her. Yes, your taking some risks, but the answer will always be no unless you give life an opportunity to say yes.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to neastsub)

Post #: 3

RE: Confused - 12/28/2008 10:56:16 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

I think it natural for feelings to have developed, and I think she will probably understand and not be surprised when you tell her. Do you want things to change from the way they are? Does your having fallen in love require a change in her in any way? M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to neastsub)

Post #: 4

RE: Confused - 12/28/2008 11:42:01 PM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

I think you should tell her

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 5

RE: Confused - 12/28/2008 11:55:04 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

Hold Up!

I am Sorry I am Not a Mistress. However I have one very simple question to ask?

MOST Pro Domme's I know have a Rule about the "L" word. If this one does and you know about that then I would suggest you informing her that you are starting to have inappropriate thought about her and ask if she has another Domme she knows who could attend your sessions. This will help to redirect your activities toward another without having to forfeit the current relationship. It may end up costing you more for each visit, however it is better than loosing your Goddedd because you broke a rule.

My Question. In Three Years has she given you ANY sign that she would be willing to take you on a Permanent Basis?

If Not I would really suggest that you look into the above information it may save you a LOT of headache and having your heart ripped out.

In Time your Mistress may even introduce you to a Mistress who is not only willing to take you full time but because of how it was done you find yourself even more dedicated to the new one because it was what your Mistress wanted.

Think about this, I swear to you, this is not something you just wanna take a chance on. Most Pro's at least the ones I know, have strict rules on such things.

Steel

_____________________________

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Resident Therapeutic Metallurgist
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(in reply to BondageBarbieX)

Post #: 6

RE: Confused - 12/28/2008 11:57:58 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. If the domme views this as a professional relationship, I doubt she would appreciate the sub taking it to this personal level.

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 7

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 4:39:26 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

One also has to remember that there are different levels of 'love'. I love my Westie. He loves me back. But it's not a "I'm going to divorce my husband and run off with a boy half my age" kind of love. He is more than a friend yet less than a spouse. Even if this Pro Domme does have feelings and affection for you... Don't expect to be her one and only.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to marie2)

Post #: 8

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 4:50:07 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

MOST Pro Domme's I know have a Rule about the "L" word. If this one does and you know about that then I would suggest you informing her that you are starting to have inappropriate thought about her and ask if she has another Domme she knows who could attend your sessions. This will help to redirect your activities toward another without having to forfeit the current relationship. It may end up costing you more for each visit, however it is better than loosing your Goddedd because you broke a rule.

Have to agree a bit on that...when I used to be a Pro Sub in the past I had sometimes guys coming up pretending to want more just to try to get a freebie by that way (not saying that you are acting on such a low level to her, but that's just how I experienced it at times) which lead me then to stop being bothered of meeting them at all, as I got tired of their excuses to try to get discounts in various ways and got fedup of wasting my time on the phone with them (as at the end of the day I still had to ensure that my money was coming in to pay my bills). I did stop it at the end at a time due to a particular guy and even when it didn't work out I have no regrets on that as I only wanted to do it temporary anyway, but it can be a bit of a hot topic...

(in reply to SteelofUtah)

Post #: 9

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 5:21:49 AM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

She is a Pro, you are supposed to be left feeling all warm and fuzzy and "satisified"--if not, she isn't a good Pro. As Steel said, Pro's keep their distance and don't mix clientele with emotion.
I suggest removing the mask of fantasy and drink a shot of reality--if that's the kind of relationship you want--start looking for a Mistress in real life---but steer clear, illusions are not always what they seem.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to neastsub)

Post #: 10

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 6:20:14 AM

neastsub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/28/2008
Status: offline

Hi,
Thanks everyone for taking the time to read what I wrote and offer me suggestions. I believe what I have always will be a on Pro basis with her, although we are on a bit of a personal level also. We do care about each other. She's always told me that I need to be open and not build a wall so she could become more a part of my life. However, with that said, I do realize the relationship likely will stay both professional and on a 'real' level to a point. And I never would expect to be her one and only. She has others in her live, all who enchance her happiness in some way which is a good thing.

The previous post by CatdeMedici is something to really think about. But even if I was to meet the Mistress of my dreams today in real life, I don't think I could remove my Goddess from my life. I care about her too much.

It's nice to read some different views on this. I do appreciate it. Now, just have to figure out how I'll move forward.

Thanks,
C

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 11

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 4:35:12 PM

SimplyIsaac

Posts: 376
Joined: 12/20/2008
Status: offline

Yup, its normal for a slave to have feelings like that I'd say. You have to be obsessed to make it work in my book. No ordinary flog me with a slapper and put me fur handcuffs man is going to really be a slave...oh but they talk a good game...

Being a slave takes a LOT of devotion. I mean, a soul-sucking degree of devotion. That sort of energy has to move itself into gear and get real, maybe that's where you are at...

Dude, she's probably waiting for you to stop being a leather john and begin laying the dialog for the next step.

Don't think it still won't mean pain and parting with a lot of cash and personal sacrifice...lol...she'll keep you busy if she really likes that sort of stuff.

One word of warning though is to be careful what you ask for. Make sure getting treated like a slave won't hurt your feelings.

(in reply to neastsub)

Post #: 12

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 4:45:46 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: neastsub

even if I was to meet the Mistress of my dreams today in real life, I don't think I could remove my Goddess from my life. I care about her too much.

I can only speak for myself, but if I take on a sub, he'll have only one active dominant in his life, and it will be me. I would want to know more about a relationship that a potential sub had with other dominants (male or female) before I'd consider taking him on (friends are fine; someone else to whom he offers his submission and use of his body are a no-go). If you go looking for a non-pro domme, but wish to keep your pro-domme relationship active in ways that it has been, you should anticipate the possibility of difficulties.

(in reply to neastsub)

Post #: 13

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 6:18:31 PM

neastsub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/28/2008
Status: offline

Thanks for the reply. What I said came out a bit wrong. How I meant to put it is that I can't see myself submitting to anyone else but my Goddess. She makes me feel special.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: neastsub

even if I was to meet the Mistress of my dreams today in real life, I don't think I could remove my Goddess from my life. I care about her too much.

I can only speak for myself, but if I take on a sub, he'll have only one active dominant in his life, and it will be me. I would want to know more about a relationship that a potential sub had with other dominants (male or female) before I'd consider taking him on (friends are fine; someone else to whom he offers his submission and use of his body are a no-go). If you go looking for a non-pro domme, but wish to keep your pro-domme relationship active in ways that it has been, you should anticipate the possibility of difficulties.

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 14

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 6:20:05 PM

CatdeMedici

Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline

That's honorable, but you better stay employed, Pro's that I know don't do gratis.

<edited to add the qualifier>

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to neastsub)

Post #: 15

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 6:24:44 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

Meh, you might have a chance. I met the man I'm dating at the moment through a 'Pro-Sub' ad on Craigslist...

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HBIC

(in reply to CatdeMedici)

Post #: 16

RE: Confused - 12/29/2008 10:42:39 PM

Coupleofwhats

Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline

Y'know... chances are, she's dealt with this issue several times over. If it's really something you need to get off of your chest, go for it. I don't think it'll be something she can't handle hearing. (Unless there's a creepy component that you're leaving out!)

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fm6JgZ35w8w

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 17

RE: Confused - 12/30/2008 12:34:29 AM

BondageBarbieX

Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline

I have seen a lot of male subs professing their love and worship for their Domme be her a Pro or not and I have never seen a Domme admonish them but thank them,acknowledge it and move on.I am sure he knows that she does not return the same feelings... but it is important to express his feelings.

(in reply to Coupleofwhats)

Post #: 18

RE: Confused - 12/30/2008 6:32:53 AM

neastsub

Posts: 7
Joined: 12/28/2008
Status: offline

Nope, no creepy opponent to it. Just feelings I have. It's just something that I've felt I've been bottling up for a few months now. Almost told her about a month ago. Was on my knees in front of her and we were just having a conversation about something when I told her that I care so much up her and always wanted to see the best for her. Just didn't take that next step. And I'm pretty certain that if I do tell her that the feelings won't be mutual on her part. But, that's OK. Me being a part of her life and her training me as I've grown in my submission already has been quite rewarding. It's a constant journey as I've found out. Exciting though.

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)

Post #: 19

RE: Confused - 12/30/2008 6:47:08 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

On second thought, you should probably go with SteelofUtah's advice

quote:

In Three Years has she given you ANY sign that she would be willing to take you on a Permanent Basis?
Think about this, I swear to you, this is not something you just wanna take a chance on. Most Pro's at least the ones I know, have strict rules on such things.

This makes perfect sense, and you probably have least to lose with it.
My advice was driven by the fact that I'd prefer to take on a devoted lover as a servant, than use him simply as a client, but than again, I ain't a pro probably for that very reason (blurring lines, and losing perspective about the limits of the relationship). M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to neastsub)

Post #: 20

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