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CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Should a Mistress/Master be a servant boy/girl first (1/7/2009 6:02:33 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: lobodomslavery
ive heard it said that in order to be a good Mistress, one should be a servant first and work themselves up that way you can sympathise with the servant point of view and empathise with them. is this credible in your opinion, or does it really matter if you have served or not, is this another example of political correctness gone mad or is it only right after all should servants know that those they serve have served others before or does it really matter
kevin
I've gone the route of living in service first, in order to 'earn my crop' as we call it. However, I don't believe in 'should' -- every person's past is different. What worked in my situation with great efficacy might be completely ineffective in someone else's situation.
If one feels compelled to the idea of a 'service first' situation, then finding a suitable situation in which to 'rise up' into dominance, and getting to view the process from the other side of the kneel can be very beneficial -- but for some, it just isn't worthwhile or necessary.
If, as a servant, someone has strong feelings about whether or not hir Keeper has that kind of experience, then knowing the history of the people one is considering yielding oneself to will help that servant to make the decisions that work for hir.
I can't say enough about the value of my time in service -for me-. I learned more about myself in those 4 years than I did in the entire preceding 30 that I'd lived... even including the time I spent in a monastary, as a monastic initiate. For me, the process brought out aspects in me that made my dominance more effective, and has enabled me to avoid some pitfalls that I might have fallen right into if I hadn't spent that time in subjugation. This despite the fact that I fought my (chosen) submission and training tooth-and-nail for a better part of the first half of my time... so much so that I was cast out -twice- before I was able to finish my training.
Everyone is different. I do believe that even 'born' dominant individuals can use some education in how to make the most of their leadership tendencies, and that every submissive individual could benefit from information and education that would enable hir to find the greatest possible satisfaction from hir time in service, but I don't necessarily think that every dominant individual needs to start out in submission in order to succeed as a dominant individual. In the same way, while it may provide an outstanding perspective of the responsibilities and burdens of leadership, I don't necessarily think that every submissive person -must- spend time in a dominant position, which, to be honest, is a logical corollary to the idea that every dominant must spend time as a submissive person, but which, interestingly, is rarely, if ever, discussed... and which is, in my opinion, every bit as poorly thought out as its counterpart concept.
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