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Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:21:44 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		1) "it" has fully committed to you in discussions AND
2) "it" has indicated his living situation is not ideal AND
3) "it" has begun to show signs of flaunting his "equipment" in public

I have been in discussions with him since October; and he knows just now angry I am at him.

MstrPBK
St. paul, MN
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:25:31 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		I am not English..so what do you mean with move...go away...or move in...

(in reply to MstrPBK)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:32:08 PM   
MstrPBK


Posts: 573
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		ORIGINAL: JustDarkness
quote:

I am not English..so what do you mean with move...go away...or move in...


Very very good question. I meant to move in with ME

< Message edited by MstrPBK -- 12/29/2008 2:33:10 PM >

(in reply to JustDarkness)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:34:13 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		IF I ever find someone I want to own, unless she has life circumstances that would make it impossible, she would definately live at the farm.

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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:35:02 PM   
JustDarkness


Posts: 1461
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline 		It is good to care about some one. IF you both think it is good....why not.
But don't take all his problem on your shoulders.....helping ok...but try not to becoem part of it.
( I say that because of point 2 and 3)


(in reply to MstrPBK)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:38:36 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		demand?

I would say he or she is an adult and should be able to make that choice. It's not as easy as just demanding someone to move. There are tons and tons of circumstances and situations to think about. It shouldn't be a decision made by that person in haste.

Instead I would think you two should sit down and talk about it and come up with a reasonable solution together.


(in reply to JustDarkness)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:40:19 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Umm... of someone committed to me is not living in an ideal situation and is showing body parts online... my problem isn't his living situation and the solution is not moving him in with me.  Its the wrong submissive/slave because his commitment to me sucks at that point.

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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:45:02 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		The fact that "it" has started looking elsewhere and showing off "its" equipment has you ready to shorten the leash. If that is the motivation to expect that slave to move in with you then I do not think it is reasonable at all. He is looking elsewhere and adversiting, and you are having a jealous reaction and wanting to confine him for yourself. Me, Id kick him to the side and make sure he knew exactly what he did to get himself dismissed... but having him come into my home when he made me angry by showing himself off to someone else doesnt seem like a GOOD response.

My humble opinion of course
DV


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(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:53:32 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		if they are "slave" in a TPE (M/s) then they are property... Owners put their property where they want.  

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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 2:55:30 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		You've been in discussions, but do you own him?  Is there an agreement between you both?  Has he accepted you as his master?  If the answers are yes ... then yes, he should with you as you desire - which should have been discussed prior to said agreement. 

(in reply to MstrPBK)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 4:42:06 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I don't follow.  You're angry because of exhibitionism?

Why do you say he's aware of how angry you are?  This does nothing.  State your anger, punish for it, get it over with.  If you're reconsidering whether he moves in, either make your decision or else discuss with him.  Just stewing about it isn't good.

To be blunt, I suspect that poor communication skills may be part of the problem.


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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 5:28:40 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I tend to agree that #3 in addition to becoming angry rather than working together are both solid signs in and of themselves why it's not yet a good idea to move in together.  You move in together because things are great and ready to move to that dynamic, not because some stuff sucks and you want to try and make it all better by forcing intimacy.

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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 6:18:37 PM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		How do you know? Has it been validated? verified? have you seen with your own eyes?
 
Do you really want to make a decision (A) based on three months (B) out of anger that will have you in a situation you might not be easily able to get out of and (C) one that hasn't been vetted yet?

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(in reply to MstrPBK)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 6:29:06 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If they are walking around undressed in public, which is what I interpreted #3 to mean, then I wouldn't want them moving in considering the risk of the cops arresting him and all.

I also think that if you are very, very angry with this person then you need to address the issues of incompatibility first. You don't want to live with someone you are always angry at. No fun for either of you.

What's the rush?

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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 6:59:18 PM   
BlueEyedSubinDE


Posts: 56
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline 		From what you have written, it looks like you and "it" have yet to meet.  If that is so, do you really want someone you have not met moving in with you because you are angry? 

Point #3 contridicts point #1 in my opinion.

(in reply to MstrPBK)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 8:15:23 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Are you wanting him to move in because you care about him or because you want to stake your territory? I feel the former is a fairly decent reason for the move while the latter is not.

But, most of all, you should move beyond a commitment in discussion before moving someone in. Would you move a girl or boyfriend in before you met them? Just because we're kinky doesn't mean sounds relationship decisions go flying out the window.

Master Fire


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(in reply to MstrPBK)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/29/2008 9:29:09 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		Have you ever actually meet this person in real life? I also agree with others if it's not good now, then don't move him in. Moving him in now is really just putting off the problem until you deal with it and correct it the problem is still going to be there.

Mike

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/30/2008 3:24:52 AM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		I would say you lack respect for this person because you continually refer to him as 'it" and you can not demand a slave to move in with you if you are still only in discussions,you do not own them.

(in reply to MstrPBK)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 12/30/2008 6:58:52 AM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		BBX,

it is not an uncommon term in the gay male world for slaves, and many want to be an it and that is what is agreed between the two parties. Many (I am not saying all) gay male slaves crave that dehumanization. I can not speak for the str8 world, as I am not that familiar with it, but I do think in general it's a little more touchy feely then the gay male world.

Mike

(in reply to BondageBarbieX)
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RE: Is it resonable to demand a slave to move when ... - 1/1/2009 5:10:09 AM   
bamagirl4u


Posts: 151
Joined: 12/25/2008
Status: offline 		I think sometimes in the lifestyle, people tend to move more quickly than in the vanilla world.  Maybe because it is so hard to actually find one you want to be with.  Then once you do, you are consumed with them.  Changing someones residence after only 3 months seems extreme to me.  If he is resisting then maybe he isn't ready for a 24/7 relationship.  You say you are angry with him for him "flaunting his equipment" in public, well, if that doesn't make you see a red flag waving, I don't know what will.  Sounds like he wants out and is afraid to say so.  Best of luck to you.

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)
Profile   Post #: 20
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