Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be true.....

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be true.....

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be true.....

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

[Poll]

Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be true.....

The very pale blonde/blue eyed woman claiming to be native american.

14% (9)

The person that claims to live in your state but is 1000+ miles away

15% (10)

The one will come immediately, they buy the ticket with your money....

19% (12)

The one from your town, but does not know where walmart is

11% (7)

the one from your town, but does not know where the hospital is

9% (6)

the one from texas claiming dallas is the capital.

3% (2)

the one from new york claiming new york city is the capital

1% (1)

The one that supports the Cincinatti reds football team

1% (1)

The one that supports the San Francisco Raiders

4% (3)

The one that starts with 'am' in every sentence

19% (12)

Total Votes : 63

(last vote on : 2/1/2009 10:54:20 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be true.... - 12/29/2008 2:49:12 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

Well, I have been hit with yet another email from someone that making claims that there is no possible way for them to be true, well, actually there is, but that means the email came from the 1820's.

So, here are a list, please vote on the ones you have seen OR, the ones you think are down right insane....

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

Post #: 1

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/29/2008 3:46:52 PM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

The very pale blonde/blue eyed woman claiming to be native american. - Completely possible

The person that claims to live in your state but is 1000+ miles away - CMs milage thing doesn't always work

The one will come immediately, they buy the ticket with your money....   - What is wrong with that?

The one from your town, but does not know where walmart is -   I suppose maybe they are not sure "which" walmart you may mean. Also. . . I might be in the next town over and just not know where THAT walmart is.

the one from your town, but does not know where the hospital is   - SAA

the one from texas claiming dallas is the capital.   - Maybe just BAD with geopraphy (it is a common mistake)

the one from new york claiming new york city is the capital    -   Again, this one is a common mistake. Lots of stupid people in the world

The one that supports the Cincinatti reds football team   - I am guessing that this would NOT be a football team.

The one that supports the San Francisco Raiders   -   Again. . . I am guessing that the Raiders are NOT a football team.

The one that starts with 'am' in every sentence   -   Could be trying to avoid using "I" in an attempt at third person speach.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 2

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/29/2008 3:46:55 PM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

oops. never mind!

< Message edited by thornhappy -- 12/29/2008 3:47:23 PM >

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 3

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/29/2008 7:49:13 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

The very pale blonde/blue eyed woman claiming to be native american. - Completely possible

Actually, to claim full or half native ancestry, the fair skinned blond blue eyed person is, to put it bluntly, lying. Distinctive genetic traits would preclude that particular combination of genes, the blond hair with dark skin and eyes, yes.

But, having none of the distinguishing primary characteristics, you are less than 1/16, legally you cannot make the claim.

Now, considering I am 1/4, provable by both birth records, ancestry records, AND the fact that six generations of grandparents appeared on the Dawes Roll as full blood, on my grandmothers side, and on my grandfather's side, at least one grand parent was full blood Cherokee in each generation.

However, with the exception of the cheek bones, foot structure, added pigment to my iris, I take after my welsh and french and scot irish that intermingled in the family since 1598 when they first got here.

I list Caucasian on everything EXCEPT school records, employment applications, AND my military records. It is easier than explaining my ancestry.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
The person that claims to live in your state but is 1000+ miles away - CMs milage thing doesn't always work

Uh, sorry, but when the town listed is Illnous, or Chicago, or even Heuston....... can we say, Houston, we have problem?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
The one will come immediately, they buy the ticket with your money.... - What is wrong with that?

I will buy the plane ticket and have it available at the desk on the day of departure thank you very much.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
The one from your town, but does not know where walmart is - I suppose maybe they are not sure "which" walmart you may mean. Also. . . I might be in the next town over and just not know where THAT walmart is.

I would accept any walmart within 50 miles, or any denny's, mcdonalds, burgerking, donut shop, waffle house, Ihop, etc. There is no way they cant know where at least one is.... especially when you list them all, which covers, in my case, abilene, merkel, buffalo gap, clyde, eastland, cisco, sweetwater, baird, brownwood, san angelo, big springs, AND Ranger.

Or a area with a radius of 125 freeking miles.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
the one from your town, but does not know where the hospital is - SAA

two hospitals, Hendricks and Abilene Regional. Thus, they have to know at least one of em.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
the one from texas claiming dallas is the capital. - Maybe just BAD with geopraphy (it is a common mistake)

Okay, then when they argue with a person holding a master's in history, native of texas and tell me that I have no clue????
Want to give me a little on this one? I even posted a link of the capital building and address.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
the one from new york claiming new york city is the capital - Again, this one is a common mistake. Lots of stupid people in the world

Okay, I would give you this one except for the number of police shows based in New York City that makes repeated almost weekly references to the capital in Albany.
Unless they have never watched tv, voted, read a paper, magazine, etc.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee
The one that supports the Cincinatti reds football team - I am guessing that this would NOT be a football team.

The one that supports the San Francisco Raiders - Again. . . I am guessing that the Raiders are NOT a football team.

Reds, baseball, Raiders, are football but in Oakland.

quote:

The one that starts with 'am' in every sentence - Could be trying to avoid using "I" in an attempt at third person speach.

Okay, this one I will give you with no arguement....

Or perhaps we males are supposed to be too dumb to spot a fake......

< Message edited by jlf1961 -- 12/29/2008 7:51:21 PM >

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to Aylee)

Post #: 4

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/29/2008 8:13:19 PM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

The very pale blonde/blue eyed woman claiming to be native american. - Completely possible

Actually, to claim full or half native ancestry, the fair skinned blond blue eyed person is, to put it bluntly, lying. Distinctive genetic traits would preclude that particular combination of genes, the blond hair with dark skin and eyes, yes.

That is WRONG!

That Gregor dude (Mendel - sp?) figured that out. I do not know how to make a drawing in collar me for you to show you how it could work.

As for the rest. . . while I am really that bad at sports teams. . . those answers were meant for amusement. (Although that 1000 mile thing is possible in a few states.)

Although. .. it is true that there are a LOT of stupid people that do not know the capitals of the states. And that bit about the crime shows. . . I never watch those. I avoid them like the plague.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 5

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/29/2008 9:13:06 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aylee

The very pale blonde/blue eyed woman claiming to be native american. - Completely possible

That is WRONG!

That Gregor dude (Mendel - sp?) figured that out. I do not know how to make a drawing in collar me for you to show you how it could work.

As for the rest. . . while I am really that bad at sports teams. . . those answers were meant for amusement. (Although that 1000 mile thing is possible in a few states.)

Although. .. it is true that there are a LOT of stupid people that do not know the capitals of the states. And that bit about the crime shows. . . I never watch those. I avoid them like the plague.

Actually, I was using the latest genetic studies to site the particulars for the suggestion. And Johann Gregor Mendel is required reading in any degree program that includes anthropology.

So, according to Mandel, the fact that certain genetic traits that are primary Dominant genes, such as the tan to dark tan skin, darker than average eyes, even the rare blue eyed Native American will not have the blues seen in most blonds, that is a specifically nordic trait, and a passive gene when placed against the eye pigment genetics.

You see, one very dominant genetic trait, that will over ride any gene dealing with eye color is the fact that the native american genetics includes a dark pigment that underlines the iris color.

It is this reason native americans have been said to have black eyes. Actually, a Native American, full blooded can have eye color ranging from black to a dark almost navy blue, which in most cases appears to be black.

Thus the standard nordic blue eyes cannot happen.

Mendel also used his genetic tables to prove that the native Americans were not the lost tribes of israel, for those reasons.

A student of his continued his work proving there was a link between nordic (viking) genetics among the tribes of the Great Lakes region, which validated the find of a rock with viking runes on it in Minnasota.

The most common combination of Blond and Dark hair is Red, Auburn, and one that could only be discribed as a Sienna. The chance of combination of the nordic genetics over riding the Native Genes, is about 1 in 25 million.

So, while it is possible, it is highly improbable.

I can probably work up the tables, which are far more in depth than the standard eye color simply because of the underlying melanonin pigment of the iris. That is the rub.

Uh, for your amusement, one particular geneticist doing a study in a southern university actually proved that 100 percent of the campus skin heads were 1) not pure white, with Hebrew, Arab, Moroccan, native American, and just about every Native African tribe that came into contact with the classical world. 2) Deep in the belief that Denial is a river in Egypt, and 3) that considering that the Mediterranean basin was the original melting pot, followed by Europe, then the US....

So your skin head is a mix of African, Ethiopian, Arab, Hebrew, Greek, Italian, Croat, Serb, Nordic, Russian, Spanish, Irish, Scot, Brit, French, Native American, Mongol, Hun, Tartar, Slav, AND Neanderthal.

Which pretty much sums it up for every other american as well... except those that live inside the reservation communities, orthodox religious communities, etc.

< Message edited by jlf1961 -- 12/29/2008 9:23:38 PM >

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to Aylee)

Post #: 6

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/29/2008 9:17:43 PM

Aylee

Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline

If you have two half-Indians that have the blue eyed gene and the pale blonde hair gene. . . then they CAN have a child that is half-Indian with pale blonde hair and blue eyes. If you look at the rate of "mixed" children. .. it is not that unlikely.

_____________________________

Ceterum censeo Carthaginem esse delendam

I don’t always wgah’nagl fhtagn. But when I do, I ph’nglui mglw’nafh R’lyeh.

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 7

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/29/2008 9:26:47 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

The genetic trait for the dark behind the iris is still there, so the eye color will not be nordic blue. It will be blue, as I said, a very very VERY dark blue. As with the parents.

In all my years running around various powwows, I have met one person who was a half breed with pale nordic blue eyes, and she was considered a mystic for that very reason. It is so rare that it is considered to be a gift to the people by the creator.

For the record, the following is a list of Dominant genes in Native Americans and mixed bloods.

High cheekbones
Almond shaped
Lazy eyes in children.
Heavy "fat" eyelids A melanin (pigmentation) in the back of the eye on the retina peculiar to Native Americans.
"Shovel" teeth,
Large front teeth with a slight or more than slight gap.
Lack of the Carrabelli cusp on the maxillary first molars, which is missing in Native Americans.
Large heavy earlobes.
Crooked fingers particularly the little finger or pinky.
An inverted breastbone. Often called a Chicken Breast. The bone actually makes an indentation in the chest.
Little toes that lie under the next one. A second toe longer than the big toe. A wider space between the big toe and second one. An extra ridge of bone along the outside of the foot.

You can double check this with research at stamford university.

< Message edited by jlf1961 -- 12/29/2008 9:41:31 PM >

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to Aylee)

Post #: 8

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/29/2008 10:25:58 PM

MadAxeman

Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline

Strange use of the word 'funny' in the thread title.

_____________________________

Hitman for the Subby Mafia

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 9

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/30/2008 5:02:37 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

About the mileage thing, it isn't uncommon for those of us in small towns to put in the wrong zip code because we don't want to be outed.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MadAxeman)

Post #: 10

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/30/2008 5:04:16 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

About the mileage thing, it isn't uncommon for those of us in small towns to put in the wrong zip code because we don't want to be outed.

this is true..

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 12/30/2008 5:57:59 AM

gems

Posts: 1
Joined: 10/14/2008
Status: offline

First: Not so funny.
Second, as the blonde haired semi-light blue eyed daughter of a 1/4 registered Cherokee, It IS possible. Its recessive genes. With a mother that has a squared jawline, almost black eyes and black hair. A sister with dark brown hair and brown eyes, and a father with the same.. You know.. recessive genes do in fact come to the forefront at times.

Third, I, myself, travel extensively.. (On my own dime *gasp*) And as an American currently living overseas, I list my most often visited location within the US, or end up getting hit with nothing but some sleezy European "Dom's" That, frankly make me want to gag after I painstakingly translate their rambling emails.

Funny thing in emails "You must be model, give me your email and phone number, we cun chat" riiiiiiigggghhhhhttttt...

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 12

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 1/3/2009 9:47:42 PM

GimpinDenial

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/20/2008
Status: offline

Okay...
Uhm....
I have red pubic hair
Auburn hair (red,brown, black and grey mix)
Hazel eyes (sometimes black, green and brown)

My mother is full blooded American Indian (Cherokee and Creek)

So...am I lying??

_____________________________

Resident Gimp
I can only hope that in death, the sins of my life will be forgiven.

(in reply to gems)

Post #: 13

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 1/3/2009 10:14:48 PM

WetBetty

Posts: 156
Joined: 12/7/2008
Status: offline

I don't think anyone lies about having red pubic hair.

(in reply to GimpinDenial)

Post #: 14

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 1/3/2009 11:21:36 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline

My mother was the offspring of 2 Norwegians, one from above the Arctic Circle & one from near Oslo. She married a man with almost black hair & dark brown eyes. My sister is blonde with blue eyes, I had the dark dark brown almost black hair of my father & the light blue almost gray eyes of my Nordic heritage.

My daughter's father was considered African American, although I believe mixed due to a lighter skin tone, but very dark eyes & black hair. My daughter is a blonde with beautiful Nordic blue eyes. My sister's children all have the blue eyes also even though their father also has brown eyes. In my world, Nordic blue is a dominant characteristic, not recessive.

Interesting how this became the discussion that it became, eh?

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to WetBetty)

Post #: 15

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 1/3/2009 11:29:30 PM

MadAxeman

Posts: 4171
Joined: 8/28/2008
From: UK
Status: offline

A bit more interesting than claiming that some people lie on profiles Linnae.

_____________________________

Hitman for the Subby Mafia

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)

Post #: 16

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 1/4/2009 12:49:27 AM

Shadow-tiger

Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline

Oy, I can unfortunately say with certainty that the claim to come out on my dime is absolutely true! But it all worked out marvelously, really! Well, for that other guy she came across. Too bad the guys other sub was left by the wayside.

Yep, strange things that fools go through with when they're young!

The one that's really gotten me was the one about the girl who's fantasy is to have her nipples surgically removed, along with other disturbing things.

_____________________________

Just some guy (profile)
Just a tiny bit evil
My kind of love song

(in reply to MadAxeman)

Post #: 17

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 1/4/2009 2:23:00 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

The ones that claim to be an expert at everything, a MENSA founder, financially independent, never been married, no children, well-endowed and straight.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 18

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 1/4/2009 2:26:43 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

Somehow I didn’t hit one on your list. I only get the:

“please chop my titty off”
“fuck my wife”
“I’m half a slave, make me whole”
“Dom/me from out of town and has an online sub in my area”
“will you take a sissy for training”
“I’m from Guyana <or insert any remote place here>, what is your yahoo ID”

…I’d take a squaw any day but none have ever sent me spam.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to Shadow-tiger)

Post #: 19

RE: Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be t... - 1/4/2009 2:34:22 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

"Train me long-distance on cam and chat for free!
(And while you are at it, send me some of your used stockings and panties!) "

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Polls and Other Random Stupidity >> Alright, More funny profile claims that cannot be true.....

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109