RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in a submissive/slave

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RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 8:06:42 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aszhrae

You're correct oceanwynds.
Unfortunately no sooner do I spread my wings than I have them clipped and end up right back where I started. Eventually you just stop trying. Maybe once I am out of here and with the right mistress, I might be able to spread my wings and my mistress will fly with me.
Wishful thinking.
It might happen now that its '09.

Wouldn't a dom/mee also appreciate a sub/slave who has had the experience of living on their own and finding themself first before going into service? I would think that would be a valuable characteristic in a sub/slave.

(in reply to Aszhrae)

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Post #: 81

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 8:50:21 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

I just drop my hankie and put my hand to my head and talk about the vapors.

LOL that made me laugh. I do know what you mean with regard to the "woe is me" attitude. Is that what you were referring to in your OP?

no that was a joke in reference to the 'captain save a ho" reference that LA was talking about. My OP is sort of out of context because it was borrowed from a post I made on another thread. A thread where a person can try to be helpful but is getting nowhere with their help. It was getting rather frustrating but it did start me wondering about the characteristics of a submissive and what Dominants may be looking for.

My personhood itself is quite a dichotomy. In some ways strong and in other ways not a strong. I prefer to have a Dominant I can lean on. There was a time I had it all together. A friend of mine said there was a time there wasnt anything i couldnt do. Right now I am going through a lot with unemployment and a sick mother. But I look back at the time where there was nothing I couldn't do and I was a stressed out mess. Lashing out at everyone. I am not saying that life isn't stressful right now. There is a search for the happy medium between being in charge and not being in charge but still successful.

But in many ways, I am strong and brash. I am very vocal about my wants and feelings and opinions. When i was still in the process of finding out what makes a submissive, i was listening to all the cliches that said I had to fall to the ground and be a doormat. I thought,"I must be an awful submissive". But through growth, and learning here and acceptance of myself and R/T friendships and relationships with Dominants and submissive's I have learned that I have the characteristics of a good submissive's because of my style of being vocal and communicating what's going on in my head and body. A dominant is able to keep me emotionally and physically safe because of the feedback i give.

A Dominant poster on this thread said he wanted someone who would read his mind and do what he needed before he said anything. It is possible to get into a routine where I can anticipate my Dominants needs. Or he can sit there patiently while I figure it out ( really, that happened at dinner last night)! But really, no one is a mind reader and we would all be foolish to think that someone can just no what we need without us telling them.

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Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
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Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to NuevaVida)

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Post #: 82

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 8:55:28 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

I not one for talking about my body..but it is not uncommon to have men that I don't know to tell me I have beautiful breast. Always thought that is an odd thing to just come up and tell a woman..shrugs. Sir says I have beautiful breast but no butt. Said Jewish women dont have butts and grin.;) Don't know if that is really true, but I have heard it.

oceanwynds

If you went by this jewess, it would be true. If you went by my 2 sisters, well those gals got back. But I am the bustiest so maybe thats why.(Oh to have a bootie,*sigh)

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to oceanwynds)

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Post #: 83

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 8:57:10 AM

persephonee

Posts: 5089
Joined: 12/15/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
My thought and questions came about from the idea of a sub who is so easily hurt by what is percieved as criticism that they were so wounded. I thought perhaps it may get in the way of meeting a dominant if every negative comment from a dominant is met with the sub falling apart or getting defensive.

You'd think, but no. Actually they can be the type to get extra tons of attention from the Captain Save a Ho types, specially if they are young and kinda hot (although that helps in just about any case).

no chit....

I just drop my hankie and put my hand to my head and talk about the vapors.

Dying of Consumption is the most submissive act there is...if one does manage to do that, they win the one twue way ribbon...just sayin.

_____________________________

You be the Captain; i'll be no one.

And You can carry me away....if You want to. ~Kasey Chambers

E*Whore, extraordinaire....

Nothing is exactly as it seems~Nor, is it otherwise.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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Post #: 84

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 9:02:39 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: persephonee

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
My thought and questions came about from the idea of a sub who is so easily hurt by what is percieved as criticism that they were so wounded. I thought perhaps it may get in the way of meeting a dominant if every negative comment from a dominant is met with the sub falling apart or getting defensive.

You'd think, but no. Actually they can be the type to get extra tons of attention from the Captain Save a Ho types, specially if they are young and kinda hot (although that helps in just about any case).

no chit....

I just drop my hankie and put my hand to my head and talk about the vapors.

Dying of Consumption is the most submissive act there is...if one does manage to do that, they win the one twue way ribbon...just sayin.

Da Da Da Da. In comes my hero "Captain save a ho" to rescue the damsel from all of those bad untwue Masters!

*SIGH* My Hero! *SWOON*

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to persephonee)

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Post #: 85

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 9:09:10 AM

masterrkm

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/24/2008
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Honesty, integrity, loyalty, obedience, independence, openness, confidence and the proper use of lip gloss.

(in reply to oceanwynds)

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Post #: 86

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 9:09:42 AM

SlaveIndigochild

Posts: 272
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Of course it's not true as a universality. In fact most subs cultivate and adore a place as a weak flower that needs protection, mentoring, special treatment and fertilizer of all kinds.

in an attempt at dialogue LA......you state something is not true as a universality and THEN say 'in fact most subs'....unable to see that you yourself are attempting to hold a universal insight into this. Can't you see you do this? A perfect example of a binary opposite and an oxymoronic statement.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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Post #: 87

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 9:20:51 AM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I'm with you, Lushy, I don't want a shrinking violet for a sub. At the same time, if I am an asshole to my sub, I am going to apologize, and if he or she is not at 100% --or I am not--then ajustments will be made.

Very nice :)

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

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Post #: 88

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 9:22:34 AM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

if big tits are a requirement, I'm screwed.

Of the available options....I'd think being screwed wasn't an entirely bad one :)

(in reply to GreedyTop)

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Post #: 89

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 9:34:18 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I'm with you, Lushy, I don't want a shrinking violet for a sub. At the same time, if I am an asshole to my sub, I am going to apologize, and if he or she is not at 100% --or I am not--then ajustments will be made.

Very nice :)

But you never call!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

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Post #: 90

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 9:36:49 AM

oceanwynds

Posts: 1044
Joined: 8/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: oceanwynds

I not one for talking about my body..but it is not uncommon to have men that I don't know to tell me I have beautiful breast. Always thought that is an odd thing to just come up and tell a woman..shrugs. Sir says I have beautiful breast but no butt. Said Jewish women dont have butts and grin.;) Don't know if that is really true, but I have heard it.

oceanwynds

If you went by this jewess, it would be true. If you went by my 2 sisters, well those gals got back. But I am the bustiest so maybe thats why.(Oh to have a bootie,*sigh)

I know it is true in my case. Yes, I want one of those booties too. Where or where do we get one?:)

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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Post #: 91

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 10:09:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveIndigochild
in an attempt at dialogue LA......you state something is not true as a universality and THEN say 'in fact most subs'....unable to see that you yourself are attempting to hold a universal insight into this. Can't you see you do this? A perfect example of a binary opposite and an oxymoronic statement.

Most subs = not close to all subs = not universal

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(in reply to SlaveIndigochild)

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Post #: 92

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 11:05:18 AM

MrDevlin

Posts: 32
Joined: 12/20/2008
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quote:

I believe Dom/me's want a sub/slave with character and strength and yes, inner power.

In my fairly humble opinion, while these things are necessary to daily life and I would be reluctant to interact with someone who didn't own them, I prefer them "switched off" for the game in favor of vulnerability and uncertainty. A perceived innocence is a big turn on as well.

Yes, I am a fucking animal, but only for the game. I play by the rules so it's okay.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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Post #: 93

RE: What are the characteristics that Dom/me's seek in ... - 1/1/2009 12:44:10 PM

lateralist1

Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
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The ability to take as much pain as I want to dish out.

(in reply to MrDevlin)

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Post #: 94