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When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 7:13:26 PM   
spoiledbrat


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

I have been with my owner for two years and most of it has been far from what I thought it to be,

I totally understand where my faults lay and try to deal with them on a daily basis, But how does one deal with the fact that:

*(this is a example)

If you keep the house clean and in order all the time, and do everything laundry, dishes, cooking what ever it is he seeks, and you don't get rewards, but at the same time if you don't do all of the above you lose rewards?

So no matter what there are no rewards?

No sex in over a year, no play that lasts more then a few minutes, never going out cause if your good then he is tired or can not afford it and if you are bad wel then you are bad no reason to go out. If he says he is going to play then life interfers. The hoops are never ending.

When do you say enough is enough, if you honestly can say to yourself You've done all that could be done, talked begged, cried, tried over and over and still nothing.

love
autumn
spoiledbrat


_____________________________

Love Always
Me
Spoiledbrat

Like our Favorite Black Dress
Character
Never goes out of style


Autumn
Spoiledbrat

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 7:18:54 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		If you've done all that, and your needs aren't met, then it's time to say "enough", in my opinion. I think that applies to any relationship, not just Master and slave. The meeting of needs is crucial.

Bob

(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 7:23:13 PM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		I think you already know that enough is enough. All you can do is let go, say goodbye, and hope that you learned from the experience.

(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 7:23:46 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		You last few posts have indictaed you are very dissatisfied with your current situation. Although some submissives might enjoy service for the sake of service alone, and not need rewards or play as a reward -- it seems obvious you are "fed up."

Only you can decide when enough is enough though. Other posters might validate your feelings -- but only you know the situation, what you have done to try and work through it, and what value it has (or doesn't have) for you.


(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 7:34:56 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		In another thread you stated that you left the situation already. I think that was the best decision.

I wish you luck,
Julie

(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 8:13:23 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		My God, woman! That sounds like my bleedin' ex-marriage!!! Except it was vanilla and he was just a domineering demi-god, not a Dom! But there was no material difference.

When I look around in a social scene or especially a play party, I love myself enough to want to be with the best person for me. I don't want to look around and be dying inside with unrequited desire and jealousy. Been there and done that and it made me fat and miserable and disgusting to myself. Somewhere there is a man that will love you for you, and if you love him back by just being you and serving with your heart, you will be his princess. Not every man is hard-hearted and un-pleasable.

There is no feeling like knowing the man you are with lights your fire like no one else can, and you would not trade him for anyone else. You deserve that. Let me repeat....

YOU DESERVE THAT. But you have to love yourself enough first to stand for it, and be willing to be alone or kiss some frogs until you get it.

I stood for it, and my life is AMAZING because I did. It was scary, and I had panic attacks when I left, but I lived thru it and got my soul back. You can too.

Sometimes we have to be the ones to make the tough decisions. Some men would rather be miserable and with a breathing body, than alone with their integrity. It assaults their self worth to be seen alone. Well, too effing bad. If you only have one life, get your heart's desire and have that be your life quest. Submission is voluntary service, not indenture and death to self and pleasure.

namaste

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

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RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 8:13:39 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: spoiledbrat

No sex in over a year,


I would have already been gone for about eleven months and three weeks.

(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 8:47:21 PM   
Sensualips


Posts: 1013
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		C'mon Caitlyn...surely you can hold out for ten days? If it was true love? ;)

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Profile   Post #: 8
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 9:01:59 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		Love makes people do stupid things, and is too often accompanied by pain. I rank it somewhere between speeding tickets and wisdom teeth extraction ... and avoid it at all costs.

(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 9:11:27 PM   
michaelGA


Posts: 1194
Status: offline 		i was in a training collar for a year and a full collar the next year, due to distance, i requested out of the collar because i couldn't go see my former Mistress

(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 9:34:34 PM   
spoiledbrat


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

To all

Yes but it still hurts to see something you put so much into come to a final end. Part of you gets drawn back but yet the other part says "your out stay out"

My dominant was the only person in my life for two years, I never left the house only to go to grocery store. I know longer have friends or my own life to go to. I have only myself and time to think over and over. What if I had done this or that differently would it of made a difference.

I can go round and round in circles driving myself nuts, I hate myself for staying that long being so unhappy and I dont know..... I just dont know ....

love
autumn
spoiledbrat

thanks for listening all


_____________________________

Love Always
Me
Spoiledbrat

Like our Favorite Black Dress
Character
Never goes out of style


Autumn
Spoiledbrat


(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 9:38:12 PM   
spoiledbrat


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline


Sometimes it is easier said then done. I was the type of person that always depended on myself, Hell I was a stirpper from Vegas before coming here,. I didn't take crap from anyone I didn't have to, this time I ate it all only to have more poured on me.

I thought I was doing the right thing trying to be obediant and kept trying. I wish I could go back in time to the first time I asked to be released and had just left.

oh well spilt milk

love
autumn
spoiledbrat


_____________________________

Love Always
Me
Spoiledbrat

Like our Favorite Black Dress
Character
Never goes out of style


Autumn
Spoiledbrat


(in reply to caitlyn)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 9:41:02 PM   
spoiledbrat


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		classykindasassy

Thank you, you have been there done that also, Now how do you rebuild up your self esteem that is gone.

i stand before myself now and wonder why would anyone want me? I walked around naked collared and cuffed for over a year not to be touched or teased, and when he finally did I felt like he was doing it to shut me up.

Now I guess I feel that no one will want me even if they do.


love
autumn
spoiledbrat


_____________________________

Love Always
Me
Spoiledbrat

Like our Favorite Black Dress
Character
Never goes out of style


Autumn
Spoiledbrat


(in reply to classykindasassy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 10:08:24 PM   
spoiledbrat


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

Yes, I can honestly say that I have learned what I don't want for the future



_____________________________

Love Always
Me
Spoiledbrat

Like our Favorite Black Dress
Character
Never goes out of style


Autumn
Spoiledbrat


(in reply to IrishMist)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 10:11:14 PM   
spoiledbrat


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline 		[[sm=Thumbs.db][sm=Thumbs.db][sm=Thumbs.db]


Am I wrong to want rewards? I mean all work and no play makes for a very dull day.



_____________________________

Love Always
Me
Spoiledbrat

Like our Favorite Black Dress
Character
Never goes out of style


Autumn
Spoiledbrat


(in reply to Sensualips)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 11:19:51 PM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		i worry about your name...to start with.

but IF it is as you SAY...
MOST other people have needs...of SOME sort.

so answer this..
is this a temporary thing...or is it non stop for a LONG time now?

have you spoke of this out in the open?

are all avenues cleared?

"I" would not...myself...walk out...without SOME kind of "battle front" first.

i feel...somehow...not all the story is here. and if i am wrong...i am wrong.


take care


_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: When would you give up? - 1/2/2006 11:45:42 PM   
spoiledbrat


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

I am sorry to say that you are wrong, I have tried every avenue, This is something that has been going on with him since before me, I just didnt know it.

It seems whomever is his 24/7 is no longer the one he wants, he wants everyone else, no matter who they are or what they look like.

If there is a question you would like to ask feel free I have nothing to hide.

As I can look myself in the mirror and know in my heart of hearts that I did all and tried all and jumped thru every hoop only to have another hoop placed in front of me.

I watched others just show up and walk in the door and get play for doing nothing but show up, but his 24/7 has to deal with everything life interfers, he is tired, his body aches, i have been bad, always new excuse, I believed for first year that if I continued to jump thru the hoops eventually I would win, but then the same hoops kept coming back.

Enough is enough, now I feel he is just laughing at me, for I kept doing and doing making money, looking for other females, keeping the house clean doing this doing that.

He does not give rewards for doing things but takes them away for not. The ones that come to play slave for the weekend, never learn anything but sucking his dick, nothing about being his slave cause if they did they wouldnt return anyway, but basically none of them did after they saw how he treated his slave, left out.

thank you, like I said if you would like to offer any words of advice that you think I might of not done I am open ears, two years is alot to throw away.





_____________________________

Love Always
Me
Spoiledbrat

Like our Favorite Black Dress
Character
Never goes out of style


Autumn
Spoiledbrat


(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 12:30:18 AM   
buffiyum


Posts: 119
Status: offline 		greetings spoiledbrat,
one feel maybe somewhere inside, you already know the answer that you seek....
one does feel that when the dis satisfaction is so great inside that you post as you have, that it is time to pack up, leave and having learned things from this, .... to press on in search of a better, more mutually-fulfilling situation.
one sure wish you well with this.
with caring,
buffy










(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 1:18:22 AM   
spoiledbrat


Posts: 75
Joined: 7/3/2004
Status: offline

Buffy,

Yes, this I know, thank you.



_____________________________

Love Always
Me
Spoiledbrat

Like our Favorite Black Dress
Character
Never goes out of style


Autumn
Spoiledbrat


(in reply to buffiyum)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: When would you give up? - 1/3/2006 5:30:54 AM   
MasterRobert1


Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline 		This is an excellent example of why people need to know one another better before entering into a long term relationship. Too many jump into the first relationship that comes along without critical examination. Compatibility is the key. And there seems to be very little compatibility here.

(in reply to spoiledbrat)
Profile   Post #: 20
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