|
MaamJay -> RE: Best sort of profile and photos? (1/1/2009 6:46:45 PM)
|
Just checked out your re-vamped profile, and it's not bad, but it's also not exceptional. I'm not enamoured of your name (though here in Australia, haven't heard of the serial killer others have mentioned) ... I have been to the Isle of Man twice and been subjected to smelly salty kippers for breakfast! If you want to keep it, at least explain why you chose it. The photo is fine, could include a whole body shot (clothed is fine) to give an overview of your physique. Or could include a shot of you playing the guitar.
While I don't mind that you have mentioned a couple of failings (shyness etc), that's honest, I do think you need to sell yourself a bit more positively too. Ask some friends why they are friends with you! Can always put that in your profile as "Friends say that I am generous, kind, etc etc" so you are not big-noting yourself. A few words about what you might bring to a relationship with a Domme would be good. Eg you might be willing to help with computer problems, do some cooking for Her, take Her to a music festival or whatever!
With your interests, I have some personal reactions. To say you "live for" agnosticism sounds a bit odd ... is it really THAT important to you? Could reduce your gene pool of Mistresses a bit. I think listing music is a good idea if it's a big part of your life, it's a big part of Mine! you would "pass" for Me, I have not bothered to contact some subs who say they "love techno and rap" and "hate seventies music, folk etc" as that is totally counter to My tastes! However, I would hesitate to include "gambling" in the likes (I'd just not mention it at all) as that could concern a Dominant who might assume that you have a problem with it. Also, you include a LOT of individual pursuits such as Websurfing and various puzzles and computer games ... which would make Me as a Domme question whether I'd ever get you out from behind a screen to do something more practical! I'd limit that a bit, especially as it's also the subject of a number of journal entries.
Are your hard limits borne out of detailed knowledge and a considered decision never to do such things ... or are they the somewhat knee-jerk reactions of a newbie who has never experienced anything, or discussed what these activities might actually comprise with a Domme whom he trusts? If they are the latter, and that's very understandable, I would hesitate to put them as hard limits. As collarme doesn't give you the choice of a category which is "highly nervous about", I'd not mention them here but instead mentally tag them as things to talk about in depth with a Domme who otherwise looks interesting. For eg, many new subs assume watersports to mean "drinking urine" whereas that more precisely would be called toilet duties. Watersports can include a wide range of activities from drinking, through golden showers (ie being pee'ed on) to being called upon to pee with the Dominant watching to being told to pee your pants! Now it's eminently possible you might be prepared to do some of those but not all. Or you might do it at some time in the future to please a Dominant you have come to trust and developed a strong desire to please. So just be a bit cautious about listing things as hard limits (ie you will NEVER do them) when you don't yet have enough information.
I did like the finish of your profile regarding friends. That does leave the way open to correspond with people with whom a physical relationship may not be possible but from whom you can learn. Can be great as a newbie to seek that out.
I echo the advice of others re writing to Dommes. Make sure you have read their profile and you refer to it specifically, especially what in it attracts you enough to write to them. Remember they can check to see if you really have looked at their profile so don't bullshit. Don't just write a one-liner or just say hello, that drives Me nuts! Give Me something to work with, something that makes Me want to check out your full profile, something for Me to reply to and I may well reply. Don't assume that because something doesn't matter to you, that it won't matter to the Dominant. For eg, I have in My profile that I am only interested in boys already resident in Australia. I get fed up with boys from other countries writing to say that doesn't matter to them, they are happy to relocate ... all very well, but you can't just waltz into Australia at will, and I have no wish to put Myself through the protracted hassle and potential heartbreak of trying to import a sub! It matters to Me and in D/s, that should be the main concern!
Hope that helps! Good luck.
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
|
|
|
|
