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Sage advice from life's veterans. - 12/31/2008 1:57:51 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

With the passing of the old year, and the beginning of the new one (how do we really know we are not getting a used year?) it dawns on my that some of us who have been around the block a few times, rode hard and put up wet, kicked while were down, or like holly, fell trying to get up from being down (holly the only person I know that can actually kick herself while she is down, nothing else can account for all the klutziness.)

I feel that it is our obligation to the younger members of our quaint little community to pass on good, honest advice.

So, I shall endeavor to start.

1) Never ask a nun what she is wearing under her habit, they are supposed to be nice but they will slap both eyes to one socket.

2) If the warning label reads "dont use near open flame" dont light a cigarette, you may lose an eyebrow.

3) Never make gun cotton in ANY academic chem lab, the profs get upset when it blows up.

4) If the woman you just had sex with asks, "How was it?" never answer with "I've had better."

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

Post #: 1

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 12/31/2008 2:01:55 PM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

Never eat yellow snow.

Never eat brown snow.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 2

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 12/31/2008 2:52:40 PM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

uh, how bout no eating the snow on the ground?

This piece of advice for the klutzes in the world...

NEVER GRAB A HOT CAST IRON SKILLET.

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 3

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 12/31/2008 4:19:29 PM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

never believe them when someone says "trust me". if they have to tell you they're trustworthy, you really don't know them well enough to tell.
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 4

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 12/31/2008 7:03:18 PM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

If this were to continue on topic (yeah right), it could become the longest running thread in CM history. HoweverI will offer up a quickie :

Take advice from those qualified to give it.

T

(in reply to PanthersMom)

Post #: 5

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 2:50:22 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

NEVER GRAB A HOT CAST IRON SKILLET.

i actually did this. it hurt.

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 6

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 2:55:20 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

NEVER GRAB A HOT CAST IRON SKILLET.

i actually did this. it hurt.

...so does picking up a recently-used sparkler before it has had a chance to cool down properly...and I have the scars to prove it!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 7

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 2:58:48 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

NEVER GRAB A HOT CAST IRON SKILLET.

i actually did this. it hurt.

...so does picking up a recently-used sparkler before it has had a chance to cool down properly...and I have the scars to prove it!

i lub you

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 8

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 4:14:42 AM

purepleasure

Posts: 6941
Joined: 4/9/2004
From: Lehigh Valley, PA
Status: offline

Laugh often.
Find joy in the simple things.
Take care of problems when they're still small.

_____________________________

Patience, grasshopper.

Your stupidity does not impress me.

blame it on your hormones!!! - beerbug aka ydd

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 9

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 4:18:40 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

"Dance like nobodys watching
Love like you've never been hurt.
Sing like nobodys listening
live like it's heaven on Earth"
~~Mark Twain~~

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to purepleasure)

Post #: 10

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 4:21:15 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

I have a sneaking suspicion you and I were cut from the same klutzy piece of cloth...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 11

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 4:26:00 AM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I have a sneaking suspicion you and I were cut from the same klutzy piece of cloth...

NOT klutzy...gracefully challenged!!!

_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 12

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 4:27:03 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

NOT klutzy...gracefully challenged!!!

woohooo!!! I've finally been diagnosed...and I like it!

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 13

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 5:41:52 AM

plsurnpain

Posts: 127
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

Remember...
Dont sweat the small stuff and dont pet the sweaty stuff.

Only you can give someone the power to ruin your day :)

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 14

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 5:54:56 AM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

1. You are responsible for your own happiness..if someone is making you unhappy..walk away or whap them until you are happy again.
2. Pit bulls do not respect sticks when you are on your daily walk. They will respect Guns, Cattle Prods and Mace. So will Muggers.
3. Repeat after me... This Too Will Pass. Nothing is permanent and everything changes, mountains erode, seas grow or shrink, health will get better or worse and a Laxative works on the worst constipation.
4. Mixing Laxatives and Sleeping Pills is NOT a good idea under any circumstance.
5. (One my youngest son learned when he was 5) Biting a sleeping dog on the genitals will generally get you bitten back before the dog is awake. NOT a good idea.
6. When all else fails...REBOOT (from Blackphx)

poenkitten

< Message edited by BlackPhx -- 1/1/2009 5:58:09 AM >

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 15

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 6:09:01 AM

SavageFaerie

Posts: 4377
Joined: 12/3/2004
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I have a sneaking suspicion you and I were cut from the same klutzy piece of cloth...

NOT klutzy...gracefully challenged!!!

I have to say that I'm propbably just as gracefully challenged. I broke a foot just getting up from a computer chair, no didnt fall, but after an hour of sitting with my foot tucked it decided hitting the floor was not an option since ir t was dead from the ankle down and down I went.

Old stove ya old folks remember then ones that you had to light with match, before pilot lighters. Turned on the stove to make something, used to the pilot way of life, waited about 5 minutes went back to a cold oven.........................................................................
..................yes I lit the match had no arm hair, eyebrows, lacked hair in the front of my face and burned the shit out of myself from arms up to my head.

Never assume gas stoves will light on their own.

_____________________________

Disclaimer:If its the wrong word or misspelled I blame on my fingers and brains refusing to interact.

(in reply to sirsholly)

Post #: 16

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 6:09:34 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

Dont forget to use your turn indicator when you're changing lanes.
Don't just listen.. HEAR.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 17

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 6:20:50 AM

jlf1961

Posts: 14840
Joined: 6/10/2008
From: Somewhere Texas
Status: offline

It is not a good idea to take a 65lb dog's security blanket for laundry when he is laying on it. (even though he likes to cuddle with it when it is fresh from the dryer)

Never teach a 65lb dog to play tackle anything....

The ONLY time it is practical to ride a bounty bull is when the bounty + prize money exceeds possible medical bills by 200%

_____________________________

Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?

You cannot control who comes into your life, but you can control which airlock you throw them out of.

Paranoid Paramilitary Gun Loving Conspiracy Theorist AND EQUAL OPPORTUNI

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 18

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 6:25:31 AM

KMsAngel

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

tomorrow is another day.
in every cloud there is a silver lining.
smile and the world smiles with you

(does this make me an optimist?

_____________________________

20 fluffy points!

flightless cherub

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 19

RE: Sage advice from life's veterans. - 1/1/2009 6:35:27 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

4. Mixing Laxatives and Sleeping Pills is NOT a good idea under any circumstance.
poenkitten

I have to disagree with you here...my ex-fiance and his sleazebag girlfriend would truly benefit from such a mixture...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 20

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