RE: Male Perceptions of males

RE: Male Perceptions of males (Full Version)

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Lockit -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:05:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 If a man were to tell me he's a submissive, I probably wouldn't believe him. Not because there are no true male submissives, but because 99% of men who call themselves submissives demonstrate through action that they are part-time bottoms. The men I know who are the most submissive to women are doting vanilla husbands. Kinksters, not so much. Maybe there will now be a long line of female dominants contradicting me, but somehow I doubt it. LOL Red... I am not going to contradict you! The majority do seem to be bottoms or bedroom submissives and a great deal of them are just sex addicts. But... once in a while... oh how sweet it is... when we do find a man who is submissive in more ways than these things and yum, yum, yum! This may contribute to how dom males think of submissive men, I don't know... but most the male dom's I know personally do not consider a male submissive as less. But I have seen it where they do. That just tells me a bit about them and that maybe they haven't met a macho, strong, stable man who is submissive. They are a beautiful thing indeed. My domina in waiting adult daughter... has a vanilla husband who controls certain things...lol... but the beauty of watching him submit and how he does all for her um's and even dear ol mom... amazing and I am jealous! lol

NihilusZero -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:09:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyTeazer This might be slightly off topic, but from the other side of the coin...... In a way, I can understand that opinion in a male Dom. As a female Domme, I admit that at times I have a rather unflattering opinion of female subs. Examples: a Dom and female sub are sitting on the couch, watching TV. He says "Go get me a beer/a glass of iced tea/a sandwich", or whatever. And even before he has finished speaking, she jumps up and races off to the kitchen. Or, he says "My shirts are not folded correctly" after she has spent hours doing the laundry, and she, in tears, apologizes profusely, and immediately re-folds them. My gut reaction to a scenario like that is "You dumb bunny. You're not a stupid doormat. Grow a backbone and act like you have a brain in your head." I do not mean to offend the female subs out there. This is just my opinion. I know that you choose to be a sub, because that is what you enjoy. But in certain circumstances, seeing a female behave like that (whether she is into BDSM, or is just very vanilla) really ruffles my feathers, as I feel that all the advances women have made have just been wiped out, and we're back in 1809 instead of 2009. quote: ORIGINAL: Roguescharm Sorry if I'm hijacking I just had to get this out. The above is almost exactly how I feel, and I feel all the worse for reacting this way because I identify as a sub. It's maddening. It doesn't matter how much I tell myself that it's their/our/my choice; I still feel like I'm somehow letting the side down. It sucks. [:'(] Sorry for the interjection, it just sort of struck me like lightning. These sorts of mentalities befuddle the crap out of me. Is it really that difficult to understand that the advances in a greater degree in civil liberties for women mean specifically that they can be free to discover whatever role makes them happy and pursue it without derision from onlookers? But some would continue to place a level of oppression on women who happen to be happy in submission because they think what gender equality somehow really "means" is that all women have to force some empty bravado of self-assertion to make up for the lives of generations of dead women they don't know? If the nucleus of gender 'equality' is that women get to be as macho as men have traditionally been seen as being, I find it a desecration of the entire point of the civil movement in the first place.

Focus50 -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:11:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: yourMissTress quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 I'm not even sure how I could have ended up with a "best friend" who was submissive all along - but such is the limitations of hypotheticals, I s'pose.... Now don't get me wrong, I'm not putting down male subs here (really, I'm NOT), rather I'm more an advocate of "birds of a feather flock together" and "water always finds its own true level" etc and there's no way my "best friend" could be submissive without me picking up on signs. And since my dominant self doesn't relate to male subs anymore than my hetero self relates to gays, this fella would not have been my "best friend" to begin with. But yeah, he could still be A friend or acquaintance and his "coming out" would likely be greeted with, "Yep, I thought so...." - and then I'd have him find me girls of the same persuasion.... *wink* Focus. So, you couldn't be friends with a submissive male...Why? I'm not quite sure I understand your birds of a feather analogy. Unless you think that submissive men are always submissive to everyone. Which would explain that sweetheart of a saying that I bolded. I mean yes, of course, if a man is submissive, he would just fall over himself to be your pimp. Yikes! Lmao; that really hit the G spot.... Focus.

NihilusZero -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:13:57 AM)
Oh yeah...and I'm not sure why a male friend of mine confessing to discovering something that makes him happy (that isn't malignant or illegal) should bother me. I don't see how it's any different than hearing he's just found out he's expecting a kid.

Lockit -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:14:11 AM)
I do think submission is sometimes being looked at as weaker, less than and unhealthy. That can be a little scary... When people start performing miracles... show they are more, better and different than other humans... then I will believe in superior beings... but you walk on two legs... come from earth and call yourself human... you aren't any more superior than anyone else, dominant or submissive. Just my opinion. You might be smarter or kinder or something else... but you are still human.

Focus50 -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:27:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici Not an attack at you Focus, however... I always find it funny when so many of you male Doms say " I would have known, I would never be with someone with submissive tendencies" and yet you miss that most male subs are dominant in their everyday lives---you think they are all such tittybabies---such a generalization----IMHO how in the world do you think you can tell? As for college roommate, it was only part of the frame of reference as many men who are bf's--start or cement their life long relationship when they are in college. Why "funny"? You don't think people have instincts or intuition or individuals could be more observant than others? You can't tell when something feels "wrong", even if you don't know what? And you think I'm so green that I couldn't know many a sub holds down managerial positions? (including my most recent partner, btw) *The only generalisations are coming from you - I'm just being honest about what I* think; which isn't a problem for the people who have become my "best friends".... Focus.**

NihilusZero -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:34:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Why "funny"? You don't think people have instincts or intuition or are generally more observant than most? I don't think she meant it personally. It just has that scent of something that everyone fancies themselves capable of, as a bit of anthropic habit.

DesFIP -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:39:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero But some would continue to place a level of oppression on women who happen to be happy in submission because they think what gender equality somehow really "means" is that all women have to force some empty bravado of self-assertion to make up for the lives of generations of dead women they don't know? I bolded this because this is your mistake. Neither of the women you cited said they think this. They specifically said that their feelings, not their thoughts, did not match up with what they think. And as one of the women cited is herself a sub, and specifies that, and that she is happy as a sub, she drew attention to the discord between how she felt and what she thinks. And thinking one thing, yet having feelings that don't match what you know, is an entirely human thing. If it weren't, there wouldn't be so much angst in this world.

DVsFox -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:40:32 AM)
As a hetero male slave, my opinion of male dominants is...well... They are other males who happen to enjoy being dominant... So? As long as he doesn't go all neanderthal and think this somehow makes him superior to me, then that's absolutely fine. If he did adopt that attitude, I would be likely to bring him back down to planet Earth. Though my Owner would probably do that before I'd get a chance to. As long as a friend of mine is happy and is pursing what they want out of life in a logical, legal, and responsible way...then I'm happy for them. I have no problem with it. I would not be too put off at all if a male friend of mine came out as dominant. We'd have the same exact relationship that we did before. Perhaps with a few more in-jokes, but that's how things work. I'd probably be a touch unmerciful with my sense of humor, but that's a constant in all my friendships. They're just other guys. shrugs I don't envy them. I don't pity them. I look at them the same way I look at vanilla guys. I don't exactly understand why they don't want a relationship like mine, but the fact of the matter is that we both hear different music, and we dance very different styles. I just happen to be very happy for them when they've found a good partner to waltz with. DV's Fox

Lockit -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:43:18 AM)
Bravo Fox! That was well presented and said! Thank you!

Focus50 -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 10:44:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 Why "funny"? You don't think people have instincts or intuition or are generally more observant than most? I don't think she meant it personally. It just has that scent of something that everyone fancies themselves capable of, as a bit of anthropic habit. *See, this is exactly why I hate* editing - some buggar always beats me, dammit...! lol But to answer your comment, life experience has a way of educating you about your own capabilities - if you're paying attention.... Anyway, dawn's finally here and I've got things that need doin'.... Focus.**

celticlord2112 -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 11:14:33 AM)
quote: Feel differently? Look at him differently? Lump in your throat? Treat him differently? No, no, no, and, finally, no. To do these things would be rude, disrespectful, and disregarding of our friendship.

SlaveBlutarsky -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 11:59:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist He would go from what I believed to be another alpha to some beta belly showing submissive. BTW, this is the funniest thing said on the thread so far.

FullfigRIMAAM1 -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 12:31:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WiseCracknSadist Plus I'd have to get permission to hangout with him... Maybe I'm just not evolved enough for all that yet. Wait, you're submissive yourself, but if he were, it would be a problem? At least you know yourself, and are honest. M

beargonewild -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 1:19:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 If a man were to tell me he's a submissive, I probably wouldn't believe him. Not because there are no true male submissives, but because 99% of men who call themselves submissives demonstrate through action that they are part-time bottoms. The men I know who are the most submissive to women are doting vanilla husbands. Kinksters, not so much. Maybe there will now be a long line of female dominants contradicting me, but somehow I doubt it. Hmmmmm......it's also highly possible that these submissive men you refer to are actually both submissive and bottoms?

CatdeMedici -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 1:40:53 PM)
I am still trying to get clues as to how these intuitive people are able to tell if a man is submissive? I mean if its so obvious, what are some of the clues? I can assure you, would bear or blutarsky walk in to My work environment or be ahead of Me in the grocery line I could not tell---but perhaps that warrants a thread of its own, I dont want to be accused of hijacking My own thread.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 2:16:33 PM)
quote: I am still trying to get clues as to how these intuitive people are able to tell if a man is submissive? I mean if its so obvious, what are some of the clues? There are no clues. Around me, the only ones who are easy to spot are the dominant ones--they have the black eyes and bloody noses.

MadRabbit -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 2:24:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici I am still trying to get clues as to how these intuitive people are able to tell if a man is submissive? I mean if its so obvious, what are some of the clues? I can assure you, would bear or blutarsky walk in to My work environment or be ahead of Me in the grocery line I could not tell---but perhaps that warrants a thread of its own, I dont want to be accused of hijacking My own thread. Oh you know....meek behavior, not looking people in the eye, saying "Yes, sir", lacking a spine... All that stuff that you see when watching a special on gorillas on Animal Planet. The problem is when people ignorantly confuse being submissive as an orientation with their own testerone driven, animal kingdom, "Me Alpha. You Beta" viewpoint of the world. Edited to Add: Because...you know...if you feel the desire to give up control to a women, then your are OBVIOUSLY less of a man. And if you are less of a man, then all of us real men can tell and not allow you within our circle. Edited to Add Again: The same way we heterosexuals use our gaydar to keep the fags away. They all wear pink shirts, tight pants with heavily feminine speech and mannerisms.

beargonewild -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 3:09:30 PM)
I hate to break the news to you MadRabbit, but my shirts are purple with lace on the cuffs and down the front. And when I fell really butch, that's when I wear my skin tight leather pants and harness! Pink shirts is so last year....rolls eyes

SoulPiercer -> RE: Male Perceptions of males (1/3/2009 3:34:06 PM)
Is it possible your interpretation of the quote is the issue? "Straight Male dominants have no use for male submissives" For example, I get emails like this all the time: "Submissive, bi white boy here for your use, sir." I have "no use" for a submissive bi (or straight) male, meaning they can't fulfill any of my needs. However, that does not mean I cannot count submissive males among my friends nor that I view them with disdain. Hell .. I have "vanilla" friends who are quite obviously submissive to their wives/girlfriends. They still beat me at pool and poker. But, I kick their ass at arm wrestling. YEAH!!! Come on!!

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