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3 jokes - 1/2/2009 2:59:19 PM   
FourQ


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A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium he realises the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field.

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"

The man says no.

Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Superbowl and not use it?"

The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."

"Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?"

"No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral."

------------- Saving the President ------------

One day George Bush was out jogging and he accidentally tripped and fell off a bridge into the cold water below. Three 10 year old boys were playing along the river and saw him fall in so they all jumped in and saved him and dragged him to shore.

He was so thankful that he told each of them, "Boys, you just saved the President of the United States and each of you deserve a reward. What would you like?"

The first boy says, "I want to go to Disneyland!"

"I'll take you there myself," exclaims George.

The second boy says, "I want a brand new pair of autographed Nike Air Jordans."

"I'll buy them for you myself," says George."

"And I want a motorized wheelchair with a stereo built into it with custom speakers," said the third boy.

The president looks at the boy and says, "But son you don't look like you are handicapped to me."

The boy says, "I'm going to be when my dad finds out that I saved you from drowning."

--------------- Sex and athletics -------------

It has been determined that having sex before participating in an athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's abilities.

In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries.

After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"


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RE: 3 jokes - 1/2/2009 5:57:18 PM   
ChainGoddess


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Excellent!  

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/2/2009 8:31:07 PM   
mischievousone


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Looooved the second one!

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 9:49:09 AM   
MasterG2kTR


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FourQ....shame on you.....that first one is stolen from a long standing Green Bay Packers joke and the guy had season tickets. No one has perpetual superbowl tickets.

AND....if you know anything about Packer Fans....you know it can easily be (probably is) a true story!!!

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 11:25:26 AM   
sirsholly


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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 11:54:23 AM   
FourQ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterG2kTR

FourQ....shame on you.....that first one is stolen from a long standing Green Bay Packers joke and the guy had season tickets. No one has perpetual superbowl tickets.

AND....if you know anything about Packer Fans....you know it can easily be (probably is) a true story!!!


Actually I changed it to Superbowl from the local football (you probably call it soccer) team to Americanize it so people would understand it.  WTF a Green Bay Packer is I have no idea. 
It sounds like the nickname of a harbour dockworker who is overly fond of the YMCA song.


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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 1:08:37 PM   
MarksFantasyGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: FourQ

WTF a Green Bay Packer is I have no idea. 
It sounds like the nickname of a harbour dockworker who is overly fond of the YMCA song.



That is EXACTLY what it is!!!!  Hahaha!!

Sorry Ya'll I'm a Steelers fan.  Oh, shut up!!!  I'm allowd!

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 1:14:05 PM   
Zupan


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The Green Bay Packers name comes from the Indian Packing Company, and the Acme Packing Company....both meat packing companies from Green Bay that sponsered the team when they first started.

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 1:56:56 PM   
FourQ


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Meh, just Googled it - it's Rugby for pansies!

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 2:03:50 PM   
MasterG2kTR


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Thanks Zupan you are correct. Q you are wrong again, if you Americanized it, it is most definitely football and NOT soccer. The Packers are the most recognized team in American sports.

Green Bay Packers

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 2:09:23 PM   
Saratov


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Umm, nope, FourQ  calls soccer 'football' where he is from.

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 2:10:11 PM   
FourQ


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Lemme explain, I tried to Americanize the joke.  That's it.

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 2:12:37 PM   
FourQ


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S'ok Saratov mate, I must have had half of CM check out my profile since I started posting jokes on here.



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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 2:13:43 PM   
ChainGoddess


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quote:

Actually I changed it to Superbowl from the local football (you probably call it soccer) team to Americanize it so people would understand it. WTF a Green Bay Packer is I have no idea.
It sounds like the nickname of a harbour dockworker who is overly fond of the YMCA song.

tee hee   


_____________________________

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Anne Rice- When you think night and day and every moment only of pleasing me, things will be very easy for you.

I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter.

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 2:26:11 PM   
FourQ


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Sorry guys, my experience of watching American sports starts and ends with the farce of the 2005 Formula One when Indianapolis diamond cut the track and didn't tell anyone.

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/3/2009 2:47:34 PM   
MasterG2kTR


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No real harm done....it was just that I have seen that joke in reference to the Packers for at least 20 years....long before the internet was mainstream it went around in hard copy form. But if you want another clue as to how staunch and dedicated Packer fans are....check this one out....

Once in a Lifetime Fan

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RE: 3 jokes - 1/4/2009 7:42:18 AM   
bluesgun


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Great to see another fan of REAL racing, love your humor posts Q , keep 'em coming.
best wishes
Blues


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