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Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 6:25:37 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		After a lengthy conversation today... I started talking to myself and said aloud... I would rather be with someone who could fix my car than paint my nails. 

It seems that service or in living out every day life, the offerings to please tend to go in a pattern.  I want an all-around guy... who will bathe with me or take out the trash and work on the things that are harder for me to do.  I can paint my nails.  If I am going to have service, I would rather someone bring me a drink or serve me dinner than to sit at my feet and only sit at my feet and paint my toe nails.

I have heard once too many times... I want to please you and I will do this, this and this.  How about what I really find important?  Oh well... okay, but I really want to... fill in the blank.  The way I see it is sitting on the side of the road with a broken down car with my nails painted or having a guy who can jump out there with me and figure out how to get where we are going.

How about you?

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 6:35:34 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I agree with the "all around" definition.  My sub has to be able to do more than paint My nails or take a beating.  I am one of those who want a little something more.  It can be cooking, repair, home remodeling, or some other skill.  I don't expect anyone to be able to do absolutely everything, but I do want someone who can do more than just those things related to BDSM.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 6:38:34 PM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		oh I had a long list of things that are in the realm of "what I need". What I ended up with are boys and girls who make me laugh. It turns out that keeping me cheered up is a bigger service than  fingernail paint or car repair. Of course what makes me laugh... is tricky.  Most can't do it.

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 6:59:23 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		Sadly, I've never been a grease monkey or carpenter, but am able to do simple things and figure out some more complicated ones. I've always struggled with this when responding to a woman, I try to highlight what I do have to offer, but it's not always something tangible. Do you ladies find it attractive for a man to develop such skills on the fly to meet your needs and make you happy or would that be lost on most women?

An example of this was someone I was seeing mentioned that she needed done on her deck. I had no idea what she needed done, but asked around and tried to accomplish the task as best I could. Unfortunately I didn't have the proper tools and she had to get it done professionally, but in her eyes, the fact I went out of my way and tried to improve my skill set solely for her benefit went very far with her. I'm thinking (well, hoping) that the fine ladies on the board would agree and see this as a good thing as well?


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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 6:59:47 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I do greatly enjoy a boy with a skill.  One of the things I find most attractive about my Westie is his amazing "Google-Fu".  That boy can find ANYTHING that I want on the web.  He can also fix my computer when he visits.  Very handy boy.  I'm so lucky to have him.

And did I mention that he also helped clean up a HUGE mess out of my storage house yard?


< Message edited by MsStarlett -- 1/5/2009 7:00:27 PM >

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 7:00:56 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Someone who is a good companion, who can laugh, make ME laugh, and carry on an intelligent conversation!  I have a licensed professional deal with my nails.   I wouldn't mind someone who can do a good waxing job (on me AND the car) though.  Those hard to reach areas are pesky.

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 7:04:59 PM   
VampiresLair


Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
Status: offline 		I have most of the skills I will ever actually have need of to get by. I can change my ow tires and tune up my cars. I can do minor electrical work, hang drywall and the like. What I did want from a partner was not the ability to do the things I cannot do, since there are few I need help with. I wanted a partner able to do the things I do not like to do.  I have no problem building furniture we buy, but I detest vacuuming. Fox vacuums. I do not like dishes, so Fox does them. That was what was important to me, making my life easier by doing the things I didnt care for, rather than things I cant do.

Manicures and pedicures are lovely, and massages are wonderful. Clean dishes and carpets, however, are equally lovely.

DV


_____________________________

Separately we are DiurnalVampire and DVsFox

10/18 Wedding date. 1 year and still blissfully happy

10/13/10 3 year anniversary of his becoming my Fox

Talk impolitely to me, baby - Thanks sunshinemiss



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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 7:05:31 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Isn't it possible to "mould" a service-type of sub?  Ordered, commanded, controlled the right way it should, I'd have thought, be possible to expand the range of services he'll offer. 

His main object is to get a certain sort of feeling, not perform a particular kind of act, after all.  Is it really that difficult to tap into the average sub's psychological make-up?  

I guess this is me being simplistic again, though . . .

_____________________________

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(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 7:06:34 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

Sadly, I've never been a grease monkey or carpenter, but am able to do simple things and figure out some more complicated ones. I've always struggled with this when responding to a woman, I try to highlight what I do have to offer, but it's not always something tangible. Do you ladies find it attractive for a man to develop such skills on the fly to meet your needs and make you happy or would that be lost on most women?

An example of this was someone I was seeing mentioned that she needed done on her deck. I had no idea what she needed done, but asked around and tried to accomplish the task as best I could. Unfortunately I didn't have the proper tools and she had to get it done professionally, but in her eyes, the fact I went out of my way and tried to improve my skill set solely for her benefit went very far with her. I'm thinking (well, hoping) that the fine ladies on the board would agree and see this as a good thing as well?



No one can do everything! lol  You gave it your all and that is what I like to see.  Someone who is there beside me dealing with whatever it is... and hopefully laughing through it all.  People can be hired to do things!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 7:09:33 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Isn't it possible to "mould" a service-type of sub?  Ordered, commanded, controlled the right way it should, I'd have thought, be possible to expand the range of services he'll offer. 

His main object is to get a certain sort of feeling, not perform a particular kind of act, after all.  Is it really that difficult to tap into the average sub's psychological make-up?  

I guess this is me being simplistic again, though . . .


I think it depends on the people and dynamic's.  You cannot get anywhere with someone fixating on one thing or another.  But then... we wouldn't get that far if there wasn't something going right in the first place!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to PeonForHer)
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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 7:09:57 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveBlutarsky

Sadly, I've never been a grease monkey or carpenter, but am able to do simple things and figure out some more complicated ones. I've always struggled with this when responding to a woman, I try to highlight what I do have to offer, but it's not always something tangible. Do you ladies find it attractive for a man to develop such skills on the fly to meet your needs and make you happy or would that be lost on most women?

An example of this was someone I was seeing mentioned that she needed done on her deck. I had no idea what she needed done, but asked around and tried to accomplish the task as best I could. Unfortunately I didn't have the proper tools and she had to get it done professionally, but in her eyes, the fact I went out of my way and tried to improve my skill set solely for her benefit went very far with her. I'm thinking (well, hoping) that the fine ladies on the board would agree and see this as a good thing as well?


I absolutely get what you mean.  It's one of the reasons I've come up with the saying that a sub doesn't have to be able to cook, as long as he can order a mean take out. 

What's important to Me isn't the fact that someone can do everything that I could possibly want.  All he has to be able to do is find a way to accomplish the task.  (Special note.  Personal assignments or things that need to come from himself are not included here.)  I've had boys who could do fix it projects around the house, deal with car problems, cook, and a number of other things.  None of them could do every single thing that I ever required.  I don't hold it against anyone that they can't be good at everything.  All that is needed is to get the task done, whether that be by him doing it himself or finding someone qualified to do the job.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 7:29:00 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
I would rather be with someone who could fix my car than paint my nails.
I agree completely, but mostly because I don't "love" my feet, and don't love anyone touching them, unless I'm paying them for it. I'd rather have a boy who can just drive me to the nail salon and watch it done, or one who can afford to pay for my pedicure, rather than one who is in love with or needs to do my toes. *A foot fetishist I am not*

quote:

It seems that service or in living out every day life, the offerings to please tend to go in a pattern.  I want an all-around guy... who will bathe with me or take out the trash and work on the things that are harder for me to do.  I can paint my nails.  If I am going to have service, I would rather someone bring me a drink or serve me dinner than to sit at my feet and only sit at my feet and paint my toe nails
I agree with this as well. While it is cute and romantic to think of someone sitting at my feet some evening, most days, I'm not at home in the evening, or not sitting and chilling on the couch... So, I'd rather skip that portion of the fantasy from the start, and simply let things happen naturally. My expectation is that my significant other will be service oriented (think housework and errands) as I need, not according to his list of desired duties.

As has been pointed out by submissives in the past, it is about two people getting their needs met, and for that reason, I don't entertain folks who seem intent on serving me their way, unless their way happens to be what I need/want. M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Lockit)
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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 7:38:37 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		*agreeing with the other ladies*

Peon, of course in the ideal universe the sub learns what the dom likes.  What we are venting against is those subs who present US with their list of what THEY want to do for us, then get huffy when we refuse that list.  No one will be doing my nails, except maybe a polish change on the toes.  Foot massage is excruciatingly painful, when I want a pain experience I will go for something that I *enjoy*.  I love scalp massage.  I love having my back scratched.  Putting lotion on myself is a chore that someone ELSE can do for me.  And while we're at it, where's that cherry Coke?  Extra ice, please!

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[page 23 girl]



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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 8:35:25 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		*agreeing with the other ladies*

Peon, of course in the ideal universe the sub learns what the dom likes.  What we are venting against is those subs who present US with their list of what THEY want to do for us, then get huffy when we refuse that list. 
 
I know, Lady Hib. 

What I'm saying comes from something I've been thinking a lot about recently.  I've been recalling what I was into, as a sub, in years gone by.  I wouldn't have agreed to do more than a tiny fraction of what I'd do now.   My sub nature hasn't changed so much as deepened and expanded.  Sometimes that's happened very rapidly.  The "service" side of me, in particular, expanded extremely quickly indeed in the space of a month, some years ago, with one partner.  If that could happen to me, I'm suggesting, it could happen to others - and there might be ways in which a domme could help the process along.  Granted, as Lockit says, some are going to be fixated on a few specific things and won't hear of anything different.  Yet others, maybe, could be amenable.  I have a strong feeling that the lack here is in a dose of psychological understanding - mostly regarding certain subs' self-understanding, but also a little in dommes' understanding of subs.

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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 8:49:35 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think it goes beyond dominant and submissive understanding Peon.  It can be a people thing.  How people communicate and how secure or not that they are, where they come from in life and sometimes the level of physical attraction comes into it.

There can be a break down in communication.  I have talked to a couple of men in the last year where they projected what I might think or feel and then believed it. There is going to be a serious challenge in that type of situation. 

Then there are some who you are on the same page with, communication is good and it just flows.  That's when I feel all sorts of things could happen.  But you just have to be on the same page.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 8:52:02 PM   
MissJana


Posts: 112
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline 		What the sub is unable to do on his own, he should be eager and willing to pay to get it done by a professional.

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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 9:08:40 PM   
OneMoreWaste


Posts: 910
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
After a lengthy conversation today... I started talking to myself and said aloud... I would rather be with someone who could fix my car than paint my nails.


You should look for guys at the auto parts store, then. Spray on a little WD40 as perfume. srsly.

quote:


How about you?


The last time I took a vehicle to the shop because I couldn't solve the problem myself was in 2003. And at various points during that time I've owned/still own vehicles from each decade from the 1960s through 2007.

But I can also paint toenails, as long as that isn't defined as "exclusively the toenail, not to include portions of the cuticle or toeflesh"


_____________________________

-and the few still remember passion over rage-

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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 10:17:12 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Yet others, maybe, could be amenable.  I have a strong feeling that the lack here is in a dose of psychological understanding - mostly regarding certain subs' self-understanding, but also a little in dommes' understanding of subs.
I agree with this. Many people go into this with so many misunderstandings about who they are and what they want...
Agreed that people become increasingly amenable if you've got what they want. I am an obey or leave type of lady, but there have been times when I've dealt with some passive resistance. I suppose the same is true for all dominants and submissives, as we are after all people in relationships, which always require some adjusting. M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/5/2009 11:27:05 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I prefer that they have a good skill set to start with and a willingness to learn new skills.  They do not have to be perfect with everything but willing to give it a good try at least.  As with so much in submission, attitude goes a long way.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

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RE: Someone painting your nails or your house? - 1/6/2009 4:36:16 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I'd rather have someone that can paint my house and I do, that is what my sub does for a living lol. He is really handy around the house and that is something that I do look for in a sub as I have similar interests. He has learned how to give manicures and pedicures because he knows that I enjoy those. So I guess you'd say my boy is multi-talented.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 20
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