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Lockit -> RE: "Discreet" Male Subs for Dominant Women (1/8/2009 10:06:54 PM)
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ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1
quote:
ORIGINAL: Lockit
If a bunch of dominant's play with a submissive and he gets a bit lost in it... Are we talking about an adult who knows what he wants and what he is attracted to? Or are you saying that a submissive will take any and all dominant attention that comes his way, because after all, he is just a submissive, ?incapable of decision to say yes/no, and choose for himself what he wants?
I am not saying that at all. I am saying a lot of attention can pose some confusion to anyone. Hell, I have been confused at times with some of the swirl around here. I would not find fault with anyone who got confused... I would however understand it and that was my point. Not that a submissive will take any attention they could get being 'just' a submissive, nor that they could not be adult in any decission making. I find that rather degrading and those were not in any way my words.
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one sentence, question or whatever shouldn't be enough to crucify him. We all played a part in the situation. It's true we don't know names or the whole story. I don't call what we're doing crucifixion though either. I think it's easy enough to talk with someone and meet them without any further commitment or restrictions like "please keep this quiet." True I personally don't share these types of personal information with other people before meeting, but if I were romantically interested in someone, I suppose I would find it hurtful if he were also trying to romance someone else.
I would find this hurtful as well. My point was we didn't know the whole story and that there may have been more to it all. As I knew that there was a lot of respect for person's involved in the situation and I will not comment further on the situation in respect for both people. I only asked that we consider there might be more and things unknown or misunderstood and give some space for an emotional and painful time and finding some way through it.
It seems we do jump very quickly... and I did say we, as I do as well... when the word discreet is used. We automatically think something is being hidden and it might have been, but we couldn't for sure know that and I had my questions about it all because I knew the respect was there. I saw people I cared about being hurt and only hoped that since so much had already been said, that maybe we could slow things down and give some time for working things out, however they did that.
This is a tricky situation only because at least one of the parties wasn't aware of plan for multiple meetings and a need for keeping it under wraps. Was she also considering others? That is still not the point though. If I am considering someone as a potential, it is usually because he is able to arouse romantic interest in me; if I later find he's doing the same with others, I tend to lose interest. So this game, which is entirely acceptable to some, really isn't with me; I would prefer to be the focus of his attention until we meet (which I always want immediately), than he can determine yeah or nay on any further dating/exclusivity thing. M
This I cannot and will not make comment on.
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