RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (Full Version)

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LokisBrat -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/8/2006 8:14:14 AM)

The funniest letter we ever received was not on CM, but wanted to share anyway.
This letter came from a swingers site, while searching for a bifem.

And I qoute:


"This what me fish look like when we eat"


Any translations on this? Maybe a hidden language that I don't know about. Needless to say, we were never sure how we should have responded to this.



NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/8/2006 11:54:37 AM)

I don't know what the funniest was, but I got one today that said "need me 2 be toilet slave? looking 4 someone to serve. female preferred. can switch"

Yesterday I got one that said "get on your knees bitch. you need to relocate here."

Yeaaaahhhh, about that...



Quivver -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/8/2006 6:58:54 PM)

I think I just got my #1 funniest.
I *think* I was supposed to be impressed when he said how hot I was
and that he'd do me easy.... but the best part was how he just couldnt
wait to get me online! ......... it's really apparent he knew how to read
a profile!
sigh.....

Q



artglfr -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/8/2006 8:05:43 PM)

Your reply is priceless. laughed so hard . did he ever respond?



DesertRat -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/8/2006 8:22:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: artglfr

Your reply is priceless. laughed so hard . did he ever respond?


Thanks, art. Yes, my reply triggered an exchange of about 20 messages that were pretty damn funny. I wished I'd saved them. I think the guy started off with the idea of messing with me, but it ended up being a pretty good-natured and very wacky encounter for both of us. I don't mind getting screwball emails. To me it's just another opportunity to be entertained.

Bob



NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/9/2006 11:06:45 AM)

Yesterday I got another two. They were both from the same guy and they both said simply "wanna be spoiled?" I wrote back and, being in a foul mood said, "Was that message so awesome that you needed to send it twice? Read my profile before you contact me again."

So today I have another message from him in my mailbox and it says "wanna be spoiled?" Aaaahhhh. The irony. And the lovely block button.



miticantenslaved -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/9/2006 12:24:34 PM)

quote:

I wonder what kind of response that would generate.


ummmmm.....

NON ANTI SEPTEM DIES PROXIMA SQVIRI
[ Not For About A Week, Squire ]
Guild Of Plumbers And Dunnykin Divers


~miti



knees2you -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/9/2006 8:56:40 PM)

Hello all,
Last night I recieved a message from an 18 year old.


"Hello and before You think I'm to Young
then your to old to know the difference."

What this meant I haven't a clue?

Sincerely, ant[;)]



NakedOnMyChain -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/9/2006 10:42:52 PM)

I think it might be something along the lines of the bumper sticker, "If it's too loud then you're too old." Either way it sucks.



submystik -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/10/2006 8:50:44 PM)

I have too many funny one liners to really count, but this one was really pathetic

i`m NAME DELETED BY ME and i would love to be your daddy and put a diaper on you and treat you like a bad little baby are you into it

Things that make you go eeewww!!!




EriaeMelody -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/11/2006 4:00:18 PM)

I received this letter the other day, it brought a really good chuckle from me. I am kind of interested to find out which book he got this out of lol.


quote:

Well My dear little girl, I was wondering if you are available to discuss your situation. I expect you to answer a few questions of course before further resumption of O/our discussion.


<remainder deleted>

[Mod Note: Folks, please don't copy emails here in their entirety. Feel free to quote humorous (or pathetic) excerpts, but not the whole thing.]



knees2you -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/19/2006 9:38:15 PM)

Ok What does this mean?

Must be seeking ownership for my pleasures or you will be forced.[&:]


Sounds like I have no choice!


Sincerely, Ant[;)]



champagnewishes -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/19/2006 10:10:06 PM)

How NOT to win friends and influence people....

In a recent email I received:
"It has been My observation that most submissives are not very intelligent or secure. It is these qualities that allows them to be a sub."

I know...you all are wondering where the line forms.... ROFL



Hohoho -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/20/2006 6:00:24 AM)

What great reading! Its nice to know those weren't in my mailbox.

The weirdest one that I remembered for more than a moment is from a man telling me to change my profile orientation status to "lesbian". Huh? What did he know that I didn't?

Oh, I almost forgot......the double/profile switcheroo.....from a "female" in Utah with the exact profile (other than name and sex) as a male in WV..."Why do you not talk to my friend? He is in WV."




k



Meistervoneinem -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/20/2006 11:33:08 AM)

I got one the other day from a "Domme". I laughed my ass off as everyone knows there are "NO" such things as dominant females.



girl4you2 -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/21/2006 3:32:25 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you
My question is what is the Funniest letter or one/two etc. liner
that You have ever recieved?

finally i can post to this thread when i've got a fresh one (and my answer to it follows):

"greeting Girl4you,,

i was reading your profile and you sound very interesting.I was wondering if you enjoy cyber sex.i have this cyber whore house where i pimp out women to men and women..this is all in good fun and no money is involve,if you like get back and i will tell you more,thanks."

my hourly rate for emails is $500 for 50 words or less; it goes up to $1500 for 600 words.

amazingly he actually wrote back. i sent him a bill for $500.



IceyOne -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/21/2006 4:21:56 PM)

LOL girl4you2, that's a pretty good one

I got one the other day from some guy who was willing to pay me $100 if I would urinate on him. The sad part though is that he was dead serious

/shakes head

it takes all kinds I guess



WickedFemale -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/22/2006 9:12:22 AM)

I get a lot of subs and slaves from Northern states that post they would like to relocate to warmer weather......and I am in Ga soon to be returning to Fla...hint hint hint



FelinePersuasion -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (1/22/2006 12:25:32 PM)

Icy one I would of taken the 100 dollars but that's me* bwahahahaha*



RedRedWine -> RE: Funniest letter You recieved on CollarMe. (3/7/2006 3:02:08 PM)

Lol I had this one guy just..out of the blew didn't even KNOW him tell me that he wanted to see me suck him and masturbated to the thought. I sat there thinking WELL! At least it was a different pick up line. I mean at least it wasn't like he was gonig, "did it hurt? When you fell from heaven."



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