RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the relationship.

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the ... - 1/11/2009 4:30:46 PM

gbperv

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/22/2008
Status: offline

Thanks Colouredin - I missed that in his footer. I'll check it out!

(in reply to colouredin)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the ... - 1/11/2009 4:43:07 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It wasn't the style of writing, it was the entire thought stream.

Yeah, I have to agree. It seems like even he doesn't know what he wants, but he wants his wife to fullfil it.

So, my first advice would be: figure out what exactly it is you want.

Your wife seems pretty open based on her previous exploits, so, I would say that she would probably hear you out. I mean, it pretty much sounded like you want a bedroom submissive and your previous activity was pretty close to that. But, I don't know her.

Here's the rub, though: If she says "No", you'll need to either accept that or determine what's more important to you. Your kink or your marriage.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the ... - 1/15/2009 3:46:09 PM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gbperv
...I have very little ... interest in dogma...

Well, in that case, I'd just remind you that you two can do whatever you'd like to do!
You don't have to follow any previous models - though you can study up and see what you might like to incorporate from them.

For you two it sounds like a matter of discussing how far you want to extend the D/s dynamic.

Maybe consider a bdsm checklist. It's good for at least a conversation or two. I also think it might be useful because I'm not sure that 'not being the one to initiate sex' makes your wife a submissive, exactly. I like checklists for couples because they give you a chance to talk about why something appeals or doesn't appeal, which can help you find out if your concepts of submission are similar.

(in reply to gbperv)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the ... - 1/17/2009 9:24:01 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

Or... perhaps a "D/s checklist" would be more appropriate.

Not sure if such an animal exists.

Seems like somebody in this modern world would have taken the time to compile one, though.

The idea of a checklist, it seems to me, is to consider things as though they were items on a menu, rather than a script to follow, which might appeal more to your 'undogmatic nature', OP.

(in reply to Jeptha)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Finally posting... questions about progressing the ... - 1/18/2009 11:11:11 AM

everhope

Posts: 2179
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gbperv

Other than Gor, would any of you recommend any good literature on the subject that really focuses on actual psychology, especially with a scientific approach? I ask because I feel I lack the real language and vocabulary to both define myself and our relationship as well as communicate here on the subject without crossing certain lines or creating confusion.

look in Alternative Lifestyles in the News section. the ResidentSadist started a thread titled BDSM Book List that many have contributed to. it could be a good starting point for you. sorry... i don't know how to do the link thing.

may we all find our bliss.

_____________________________

may we all find our bliss

Resident VWB

We all die.
The goal isn't to live forever.
The goal is to create something that will.

(in reply to gbperv)

Profile

Post #: 25