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RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 8:35:58 AM

CatdeMedici

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Musicmystery

quote:

I will never marry-- (A) My reasons are simple, I have far too many assets to be tied up in community property

Be careful. Common law marriage cases do see the light of day--including palimony.

That's why Im staying put, NC has no common law recognition--however it DOES recognize anyone common law from any other state as married.

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RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 8:41:21 AM

Reigna

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After my divorce, it was a specific goal of mine to remarry. (I'm boringly monogamous, and actually liked being married; just didn't care for the man.) I had a small handful of criteria for evaluating partners and potential partners, and one of them was, "Could I marry him? Would I?" For some reason, though, my urgency to marry has subsided. My sub and I aren't married, although we live together [under the eyes of our (late adolescent) UMs!!].

But our relationship is so solid, settled, and drama-free that we may as well be married. (This is exactly what I was looking for--squeee!!! Don't fall asleep on me, now.) I expect that we will eventually sign the paperwork when the spirit moves one of us.

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Post #: 22

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 8:44:43 AM

bluepanda

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quote:

Submissives: How many of you enter into the relationship hoping for marriage as an end game?

Me. I don't necessarily enter into every relationship thinking that's where this one is going to wind up, but if I don't have some hope that that's where it might go, I usually won't even bother getting involved. For two reasons.

First of all, I do very much want to be married again (it's the incurable romantic in me), so that's something that's always on my mind as I'm getting to know someone - is this a woman I think I could be happy spending the rest of my life with? Does she have the values, the character, the personality I could be happy being around every single day for the rest of my days? If the answer to those questions is "no," then I'm not getting involved with her in the first place, because she's not someone I could be happy with for a few months, either.

So if I'm entering into a serious relationship with her, that means I've already determined that she could be someone I would liike to marry, so yes - I enter every serious relationship with the hope that this at least may end up with us marrying.

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Post #: 23

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 9:18:01 AM

Lashra

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Marriage has never been high on my "to do" list. I was never the little girl to spend hours daydreaming of a long white dress and Prince subCharming waiting for me at the altar. I married once and it was a disaster.

However my sub has proposed twice and twice I told him that I would think about it. I love him with all my heart but as I told him,
I do not really know that I want to get married again. So for now, we are in a holding pattern.

~Lashra

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Post #: 24

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 9:35:35 AM

PanthersMom

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marriage wasn't the goal. it turned into a possibility after we were together awhile, but it wasn't our intention from the start.
PM

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Post #: 25

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 9:42:33 AM

aidan

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A common law marriage, maybe. I don't forsee a big ceremony or any some-such though, no.

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Post #: 26

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 10:06:38 AM

ALAstella

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The only thing I ever hope for in a relationship is the happiness of the other person. When your expectations surpass the reality of your relationship that's when you leave yourself open for getting hurt.

If when considering the relationship I needed to ever pick up a calculator or speculate over what I'd do if the relationship ended I wouldn't take the relationship further.

My kindness, friendship and love remain without any conditions. This is the way I live. I'm not prepared to compromise this for the sake of any relationship.

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Post #: 27

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 10:36:21 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I am looking for a life partner, yes. However, I have had one of those amazingly bad years too (my first one back in the game, nearly my last!) and the two men that interest me at the moment are minion material, not henchmen! I have always made the distinction between the categories.

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Post #: 28

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 10:41:29 AM

BondageBarbieX

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I was married to my MasterDaddy but we mostly got married because I was 15 an he was much older...we loved each other but I wanted him protected legally and so did my parents.With my new Daddy I am in it for keeps but will not marry him ever in respect to Jess.
Marriage is just a piece of paper to me anyway,it has nothing to do with the commitment to each other we have.

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Post #: 29

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 11:19:20 AM

Coupleofwhats

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I figured I didn't want to date around for the rest of my life, so I started only seeing people who have long term potential. It seems to be working out.

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Post #: 30

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 11:27:03 AM

KatyLied

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I do not enter a relationship projecting into the future. I would consider marriage under the right circumstances. But I would prefer to have a long term relationship, perhaps co-habitation, but not necessarily something legally-binding such as marriage. Approximately half of them need to be undone and it's a huge hassle to go through that (been there; done that). I'd rather not subject myself to that scenario.

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Post #: 31

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 11:42:16 AM

Reigna

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aidan I don't forsee a big ceremony or any some-such though, no.

Hum, yeah. In general, I like marriage and loathe weddings.

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Post #: 32

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 12:01:25 PM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Ladies:

How many of you entered into your relationship with the hopes that marriage would be Your end game?

I've never entered into any relationship with marriage being a goal -or even a thought. I ended up married because that's where this relationship went.

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Post #: 33

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 12:06:29 PM

T1981

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

I've never entered into any relationship with marriage being a goal -or even a thought. I ended up married because that's where this relationship went.

That's how my husband and I wound up married. We were together for 10 years before we finally tied the knot - it just eventually went there. But looking for marriage, that seems fraught with danger to me. Way too many expectations.

Granted, most people don't wait 10 years to get married, but still - a few years, at minimum, is what I recommend.

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Post #: 34

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 12:39:11 PM

MistressTaboo

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I wasn't looking for marriage either when I found my husband. He was supposed to be an occasional FBuddy and part time submissive while I got him trained to go meet other women. He was much younger than I am. Hell I was engaged to another man at the time.

We did everything wrong in the beginning. Threw all our cards on the table the first night. Slept together the second. Had BDSM full swing in our relationship before anything else. I knew more about his kinks than I did about his life and likes.

But it all worked out in the end...my feeling is If it's meant to be it will work out. If it's not we all had a good time.

*celebrates 6yrs married next month and 9yrs together in May*

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Post #: 35

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 12:40:23 PM

lateralist1

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I'm already married.
For me marriage is vanilla.
I'm looking for a lifelong committed BDSM D/s relationship.
The two sorts of relationships are very different so I think I ought to be able to have both. Just need to find the right person lol.

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Post #: 36

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 1:30:51 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix
Marriage was, at one point, something I was open to as the result of a committed relationship, but after this past disastrous year, I can't even bring myself to go on a date.

V darling, please tell me you are bad enough to dust yourself off, and try again. Remember this is life, and these are lessons. You're aware, and you've grown, and next experience won't likely be the same.
It would be a sin and a shame to hide that fabulousness away.

As to the OP, I no longer need marriage as a validation tool, and I fear marriage simply because of the divorce potential. Other than that, I think marriage is a wonderful thing, and might at some point consider it again. M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 1/9/2009 1:32:39 PM >

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Post #: 37

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 2:21:08 PM

Venatrix

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M,

Thank you so much. That cheered me up. I thought I found someone fantastic last year, but it doesn't matter how fantastic he is if he won't show up. We'll have to see who turns up in my in-box. The in-person pickings in San Francisco are surprisingly lean, but I still have a shred or two of optimism left.

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Post #: 38

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 2:28:12 PM

slavemick63

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Marriage is a must for me.It makes being cuckolded much more meaningful.

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Post #: 39

RE: Marriage? - 1/9/2009 4:13:51 PM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

M,

Thank you so much. That cheered me up. I thought I found someone fantastic last year, but it doesn't matter how fantastic he is if he won't show up. We'll have to see who turns up in my in-box. The in-person pickings in San Francisco are surprisingly lean, but I still have a shred or two of optimism left.

Share your shred? Please?