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International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:34:16 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		I am curious how many of you entered into an international relationship, maybe I should use the term bi-continental relationship that you intended to make real?
 
Did it work?
What were the challenges?
Is it even, given the world today, a realistic expectation?
Were the D or s's really serious about relo? Was their intent sincere, or was it more a means to lie to get what they wanted?

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:37:33 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici
 
Did it work?
What were the challenges?
Is it even, given the world today, a realistic expectation?
Were the D or s's really serious about relo? Was their intent sincere, or was it more a means to lie to get what they wanted?


It worked; 5,000 miles and the Atlantic ocean were a challenge; it was completely insane and unrealistic; but we ended up hitched.

I recommend it  .

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:38:21 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		*hollars for Greedy*

p.s yes i am stalking you KS i have to do it occasionally

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:38:30 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I was in a relationship that began as long distance with visits. Then temporary living together, then back to long distance, then ended. Then she moved to Europe, we began again, with me seriously considering relocating, and then she died.

Had one of us not been seriously, mega, cash loaded (not me) it would have never began, let alone me consider moving.

As for whether or not the distance had anything to do with the problems, yes and no. There were so may other issues that the distance was just another one.


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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:43:45 AM   
GreeneGoddess


Posts: 59
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline 		I wouldn't even consider it.  

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:44:54 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Love is above frontiers, borders and nautical miles. When it's the real thing... different countries and continents don't make any more of an obstacle.

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:45:35 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline 		I had someone last year where the connection was just amazing.  He'd even bought his ticket from London to come for a visit.  He lost his backbone five days before the visit and cancelled.  At that point, I'd spent literally hundreds of dollars and days of work preparing for his arrival.  The vast majority of men I've been in contact with this past year haven't been able to muster the courage even to get together for a meeting, so I'd be very careful about getting involved with someone internationally.  Make him make all of the effort (the most I'd do is clean the apartment) and incur all of the expenses if you proceed on this basis.  If he checks out, then why not take things slowly and see where they lead?

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:47:51 AM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Love is above frontiers, borders and nautical miles. When it's the real thing... different countries and continents don't make any more of an obstacle.


Wow look at KS being romantic, who'd have thunk it.

OP To be honest I dont think someone being international would ness be and issue for me, it would of course depend on the ability to travel which for me currently is near on impossible (student-ness) but very strong emotions can and are formed at a distance using less physical communication. I have friends who live in other countries who I love to pieces so I dont see why I couldnt have a relationship with someone just as far.

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:47:58 AM   
ALAstella


Posts: 253
Joined: 12/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

I am curious how many of you entered into an international relationship, maybe I should use the term bi-continental relationship that you intended to make real?



It's the same continent, both either side of Europe, so it can be bi-continental in light of Europe being divided over 60 years or so. Ala is Polish, I'm British.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

 
Did it work?



Present tense, it's working and working well.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

What were the challenges?



Differences in language, culture and society. Plus the fact that Ala has a family (UMs). Our language is Polish, currently our only common language. Polish doesn't have the BDSM terminology of English, therefore you have to explain and describe when discussing the dynamic. There's also a barrier between Ala and our part of the community which is broken down by my translations. However Ala is learning English. Plus the fact that we're managing two homes a little over a thousand miles apart.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Is it even, given the world today, a realistic expectation?



Why would it not be realistic? The bottom line is we're both human beings. Just because someone doesn't come from your background doesn't make them an alien.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Were the D or s's really serious about relo? Was their intent sincere, or was it more a means to lie to get what they wanted?


I don't know because I never think of it. I just find it sad to go through life constantly suspecting people's motives, as if that is going to prevent anything anyway. If you go through life constantly worried that someone is going to screw you over chances are someone will.

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 7:51:23 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline 		Well, I wasn't planning on moving to Canada but as someone who was born in the US, went to school in Australia and now lives in Canada, yes, international relationships can and do work if both people are committed and willing. It's just not as easy or convenient as meeting up with someone from across town. (Or the state...) 

Rain da travel junkie


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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 8:11:52 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Love is above frontiers, borders and nautical miles. When it's the real thing... different countries and continents don't make any more of an obstacle.


Wow look at KS being romantic, who'd have thunk it.


Actually, I was thinking of sex  .

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 8:20:48 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I had almost a two year relationship with a man who lived in Australia.  The plan was that I would join him there after another three more years when things here were ready for me to leave, with plans to visit often because my family would be here.  Then we knew that my daughter did indeed have some of my illnesses and she needed me in ways she hadn't.  We had to call things off.  But it was amazing while it lasted and to this day we can feel one another when they are struggling with something.  Sometimes some hard choices have to be made and we had one choice too many.  I don't regret a moment of it but would not do it again because I want something now... not waiting for something later and I am not leaving even this area because of family needs.

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 8:27:28 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline 		I was actually approved to immigrate back to Australia, Lockit, and still have friends there. However, 2 months after getting notified I qualified to move back, I met Lumus and went east to Canada.... Best thing I ever did though I never thought about moving to Canada. Maybe one day we'll visit Australia and I can show him around where I lived, in Victoria. 

_____________________________

"I have sold my soul to the devil for You, will You still love me when I am soiled, stained and souless in my love for You?
Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 8:36:31 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I was headed to New South Wales in the Bega/Bemboka area.  Very small town.  I still would like to see so many things there.  But besides the experience and the memories... I created a book out of it that has gotten some publishing interest.  I just lost heart in it.  But... I am very happy that I am where I am, doing what I am doing!

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 10:38:05 AM   
BondageBarbieX


Posts: 495
Joined: 4/1/2008
Status: offline 		I would not consider it .

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 10:42:41 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I would look at Canada without hesitation.  I have lived across the river from there my whole life, and there's not much to adapt to.   Europe?  Not so much.  Too far away from the parents, and even though I can get an EU work permit because of my background, I would literally have to relearn my profession.    I adore the UK,  but I will settle for postcards from Greedy!

Long distance relationships are a lot of work, but I have had some worthwhile ones.  I still push for realtime meetings ASAP, and as Venatrix says, I would not go crazy setting up for a visitor.  We'd hit the grocery store AFTER he arrived! 

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 10:48:52 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I would not go crazy setting up for a visitor.  We'd hit the grocery store AFTER he arrived! 


Absolutely.  Can you believe I got stuck with coffee beans and muesli?  Hate coffee, hate muesli.  On the other hand, I did wind up with some incredible Nazi reproduction things for the interrogation scene that never took place.  One of these days, Fraulein is going to find her little prisoner and then we'll see what he has to say for himself.  Jawohl! 

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 10:57:00 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I adore coffee and muesli!  AND have a little darling with a Germany and uniform fetish!!  Road trip! 

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 11:05:29 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I adore coffee and muesli!  AND have a little darling with a Germany and uniform fetish!!  Road trip! 


I gave the coffee and the muesli to a co-worker.  I didn't think she'd have much use for my Nazi armband and reproduction dagger.   But, road trip, indeed!  Bring it on!  We've both had bad luck with men lately - it's time we made our own luck.

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RE: International Relationships - 1/9/2009 11:25:30 AM   
Coupleofwhats


Posts: 280
Joined: 6/4/2008
Status: offline 		I'm a practical kind of girl: I need my significant other to come home to me every night. Keeps things simple.

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