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What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/9/2009 10:10:30 PM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
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Just curious...

If you go by Domme instead of Dom, because you are a female, then what do you refer to a female submissive or slave as? Don't they deserve a gender specific term too?

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

Post #: 1

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/9/2009 11:37:08 PM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

While I myself use the term domme on occasion, I tend to use female or woman dominant. I think that the term is, at it's root, an attempt to make the idea of a female dominant as less than the male counterpart by specifically differentiating between the two. : Look at it this way: why is it a Mistress and not a Master, with the negative connotations associated with the term mistress (example: the other woman or a kept woman)?

The above is my opinion, no facts were abused (or even touched) in the forming of this opinion.

_____________________________

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if only to keep me to herself.

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(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 2

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 12:28:38 AM

LadyTeazer

Posts: 225
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde

Look at it this way: why is it a Mistress and not a Master, with the negative connotations associated with the term mistress (example: the other woman or a kept woman)?

Yup. Exactly what he said. *nods head vigorously*   That is the reason that I do not like to be referred to as "Mistress".    I know that I am one definition of the word (a dominant woman), and not the other (the 'other' woman), but still, it has a very negative association to me.

As for why there is no gender specific 'title' for a female sub versus a male one, I dunno. Being a hetero Domme, I never thought about it, really.

Just a quick thought.... Could it be because a sub is seen as 'inferior' to a dominant, and therefore does not deserve a gender-specific reference? I most certainly do **not** believe that nonsense for a moment. Personally, I see a sub as My equal, but opposite. Two halves that form a whole. I cannot be dominant if I have no one to submit to me, he cannot be submissive if he has no one to dominate him.

I know that many Dom/me's feel that a sub is inferior to them. And that's great. It just doesn't work for me. I mean, if I felt that a sub was inferior to me, why on earth would I want to have anything to do with him?   I deserve the best, not second rate.

Lady Teazer -- proud and happy Owner of [saberwolf34]
and still a WOW - Wonderful Older Woman

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 3

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 1:38:42 AM

Politesub53

Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
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My view differs from the two above. I just see the terms Dom and Domme as refering to masculine or feminine, without any other connotations. Its the same with the word Mistress, a female Dominant, no more and no less. I dont view it as a term for a kept woman precisely because I am using it in the D/s context.

(in reply to LadyTeazer)

Post #: 4

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 4:00:55 AM

chezzy71

Posts: 412
Joined: 4/19/2008
Status: offline

i just cut through the chase and say Mistress or Ma'am.

(in reply to Politesub53)

Post #: 5

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 4:22:07 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darchChylde
Look at it this way: why is it a Mistress and not a Master, with the negative connotations associated with the term mistress (example: the other woman or a kept woman)?

Who says it's not?

Master Fire

_____________________________

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(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 6

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 4:48:59 AM

JoeVanilla

Posts: 22
Joined: 6/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Who says it's not?

Master Fire

Exactly. In our relationship, we both know she's a woman so a term which means "woman-who-is-master" would be redundant. I usually address her by her first name or a cherished nickname. When I need/want to be extra-extra, I use Master.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 7

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 6:05:55 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

I don't know why there is no female version of 'sub'... but then, I joined CM to learn terminology so I wouldn't sound like a total dumb ass in public.

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the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to JoeVanilla)

Post #: 8

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 6:31:56 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline

I prefer Ma'am simply. Mistress is acceptable, though not preferable, and I definitely don't want to be called master, because I myself associate it with arrogant guys grabbing their crotches, and ascertaining "I'm da master." Of course this isn't what Master means in this forum/lifestyle, but it just isn't something feminine moi wants to be.
I'm a baddass lady, but a lady always.

As to the OP, being hetero inclined, I never considered that the fem subs might want a name of their own.... I suppose we could make the males submissivs, and the females submissives to go with the french theme. (un/une) M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 1/10/2009 6:32:30 AM >

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(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 9

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 7:01:24 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Ditto. I don't have femsubs, so it never crossed my mind that they don't have a 'title' of their own.

I don't have a problem with Dom/Domme - it's sort of like Actor/Actress to me. It does not denote 'more or less' just 'male and female'.

Like others, I do have a problem with "Mistress". I accept it but don't relish it. It does have that "Other Woman" connotation that I just can't quite shake. I prefer Ma'am or Lady. I like 'Ghoddess' best, but only if the person using it believes and feels it. Otherwise, it's just empty rote.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 10

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 7:10:24 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Just curious...

If you go by Domme instead of Dom, because you are a female, then what do you refer to a female submissive or slave as? Don't they deserve a gender specific term too?

Easily solved. How about subbe? Pronounced like "sub" for confusion's sake.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 11

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:04:56 AM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Just curious...

If you go by Domme instead of Dom, because you are a female, then what do you refer to a female submissive or slave as? Don't they deserve a gender specific term too?

Easily solved. How about subbe? Pronounced like "sub" for confusion's sake.

Exactly! I was hoping someone would propose this ;) But I think it would be even better if we forced everyone to pronounce it "sub-bay" so that in conversation you could be absolutely certain they were referring to their female sub and not a male one.

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 12

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:19:58 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

Well, after participating in the third annual "Take A Submissive To Work " day,
a very enlightening ride-a-long with a group of rambunctious Dominant males
had me thoroughly convinced that the proper way to address female sub/slaves,
especially from rolled down car windows, accompanied by a chorus of whistles
was, "Hey, Smack". (apparent translation, 'suck my almighty cock kitten')

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 13

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:27:07 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

Just curious...

If you go by Domme instead of Dom, because you are a female, then what do you refer to a female submissive or slave as? Don't they deserve a gender specific term too?

Easily solved. How about subbe? Pronounced like "sub" for confusion's sake.

Exactly! I was hoping someone would propose this ;) But I think it would be even better if we forced everyone to pronounce it "sub-bay" so that in conversation you could be absolutely certain they were referring to their female sub and not a male one.

You are deeply, deeply evil.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 14

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:28:14 AM

DominaSmartass

Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Well, after participating in the third annual "Take A Submissive To Work " day,
a very enlightening ride-a-long with a group of rambunctious Dominant males
had me thoroughly convinced that the proper way to address female sub/slaves,
especially from rolled down car windows, accompanied by a chorus of whistles
was, "Hey, Smack". (apparent translation, 'suck my almighty cock kitten')

chia* (the pet)

LOL. You think anyone actually calls it a "cock kitten"? Seems kind of...the opposite of intimidating. Like cute. ;)

_____________________________

“These S&M people ... they are bossy! There’s also a creepy connection between leather sex, ‘Star Trek’ and the Renaissance Faire.”

- Comedian Margaret Cho

(in reply to chiaThePet)

Post #: 15

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:39:24 AM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

I think it would be even better if we forced everyone to pronounce it "sub-bay". . .

Anyone calling me a "dommay" will get kicked in the nuts. Oh, wait. I think there might be a flaw in my reasoning. Never mind.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 16

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:44:10 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

I think it would be even better if we forced everyone to pronounce it "sub-bay". . .

Anyone calling me a "dommay" will get kicked in the nuts. Oh, wait. I think there might be a flaw in my reasoning. Never mind.

From now on, we should just look around innocently and say "Did you hear something? Was someone talking to me?"

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Venatrix)

Post #: 17

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:49:18 AM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline

Speaking of "domm-ey", is the word "domme" pronounced differently than "dom"? We have a couple that we cam with, and I always wind up saying "Dom and Dom" and it sounds so silly to be repeating what seems like the same word!

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"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:54:51 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

It IS pronounced the same. "Domme" is a made-up chatroom word. Do you pronounce "femme" FemMAY? You do not. This has to be my biggest

thing, and it's all I can do to not correct it every time I hear it.

I am driven mad by those who use apostrophes to pluralize, as well. I need to find a hobby.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to T1981)

Post #: 19

RE: What's the submissive version of "Domme"? - 1/10/2009 8:56:02 AM

T1981

Posts: 557
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline

lol - thank you, LadyHibiscus! At least I know that while I may sound silly, it's a correct kind of silly!

_____________________________

"Nothing is pointless, every single thing you do resonates." -Pintsize

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 20

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