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Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/11/2009 4:33:18 PM   
mikierotten


Posts: 20
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		 I would like to get some feed back on the subject of  extreme degradation, and extreme V.A.
I was wondering if there are any Dommes who enjoy the lowering of their slaves via degradation/V.A.

I genuinly love being made to feel inferior to others and verbally debased in a very extreme manner, but find that most Dommes find this Fetish too extreme for them. Are there any Dommes who enjoy this fetish? Or am i alone, lost at sea here in San Francisco?

< Message edited by mikierotten -- 1/11/2009 4:35:08 PM >
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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/11/2009 5:02:12 PM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline 		I think there are people out there who find it extreme.. I don't particularly.. but its not for me.

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/11/2009 8:12:32 PM   
AlexandraLynch


Posts: 778
Joined: 3/24/2008
Status: offline 		I don't, but I readily admit that it is due to having endured extreme verbal degradation and humiliation growing up, and a consequent decision to not go down that road at all. To each their own, and I wish you well in your search.

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/11/2009 8:28:37 PM   
hereyesruponyou


Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		I'm just not very good at it. I prefer harmonious communication when possible. But i am sure there are people out there if you look long and hard enough

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 4:01:15 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		I'm not very good at it in person.  But I write one hell of a mean email.

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the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 4:11:48 AM   
MistressRouge


Posts: 876
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Birmingham West Midlands UK
Status: offline 		I love it, and really enjoy administering all forms of  emasculation, but only with those into that particular senario

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 4:20:39 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		Got to say that I love it too, especially with those I know fairly well. Doing it with someone you don't know too well is a bit more tricky because its such a personal thing and the wrong word/action can so easily just kill the whole thing.

I think the problem for extreme degradation, verbal or otherwise, tends to be a difficult one for many for the simple reason that we were brought up and conditioned never to be so horrible to people.



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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 4:40:56 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Not for Me, I save it for the politicians.

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 5:01:53 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		 . . . we were brought up and conditioned never to be so horrible to people.

I've had the impression that this is a general problem for people who want to be in any way sadistic.  Perhaps especially so for women.  Is it more difficult to be sadistic with words than, say, with a whip or a paddle?

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 5:28:28 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Oddly, yes.  Women know first hand that words can hurt way more than whips and paddles.  The sting of a strike is quickly forgotten, but harsh words stick with you forever.  I always tell my husband that it takes 100 "You're Beautifuls" to make up for one "You're Fat."

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 5:37:42 AM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		*sigh*  I've been getting the WORST C-mails lately.  If Mod 11 didn't yell at me every time I C&P a private message over here... I'd be happy to Extremely Humiliate these dip wits.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to MsStarlett)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 5:46:04 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		So how many "you're beautifuls" would it take to make up for someone saying "you eat too much chocolate"? 

But I see your point.  I watched a programme some time ago which focused on a brothel in the USA which specialised in S and M activities.  A lot of the customers wanted to be abused verbally rather than physically.  Things had to be very carefully discussed beforehand because said customers wanted precisely the right degree of insulting - no more, no less.  One customer was an orthodox Jew who wanted a Nazi scenario.  One can only imagine how cautiously that level of insulting had to be discussed beforehand.

My personal preference: just leave out the stereotypical dommy insults.  Being called a "worm", for instance, sounds just silly.

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 7:57:57 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

 . . . we were brought up and conditioned never to be so horrible to people.

I've had the impression that this is a general problem for people who want to be in any way sadistic.  Perhaps especially so for women.  Is it more difficult to be sadistic with words than, say, with a whip or a paddle?


In my case, the issue stems more from the fact that if I thought you truly were worthless, I wouldn't waste my time on insulting you in the first place.  So, I can fake it for a while in the occasional scene, but on a regular basis I wouldn't be very convincing.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 8:04:28 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		Its often guys with small cocks that want to be called a worm!

I knew of a couple a few years ago. He was the 'D' and her the 's'. D wanted to really degrade what he called 'his bitch'. s said she was up for anything. They went along to a BDSM club. He tied her up and put her on her knees in the mens toilets with a funnel down her neck and a sign round her chest saying 'piss whore feel free' and left her for over an hour. I think the girl is still in therapy and I do know for sure that they broke up that very night.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 9:08:48 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

...I think the problem for extreme degradation, verbal or otherwise, tends to be a difficult one for many for the simple reason that we were brought up and conditioned never to be so horrible to people.


Women typically are raised by nurturers to be nurturers - the cheering section, the ones that safeguard, the ones that kiss away the boo-boo's. .
 
I went thru a phase where I had to rely on sheer force of will even to speak to a  male submissive in anything even close to a 'harsh' tone. Obviously its far easier now but, to this day, I can't accomplish the extreme.  There are women who are very, very good at it and they cater to a specific mindset. 
 
Somewhere in there is compromise - between the nurturer who fixes things and and the iron-spined Domina who knows what turns the submissive into a puddle.


< Message edited by MsFlutter -- 1/12/2009 9:10:33 AM >

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 9:10:25 AM   
MsVanessaNY


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline 		Personal favorite here, but it depends on the sub.

As a rule though, yummy...

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 10:36:28 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I knew of a couple a few years ago. He was the 'D' and her the 's'. D wanted to really degrade what he called 'his bitch'. s said she was up for anything. They went along to a BDSM club. He tied her up and put her on her knees in the mens toilets with a funnel down her neck and a sign round her chest saying 'piss whore feel free' and left her for over an hour. I think the girl is still in therapy and I do know for sure that they broke up that very night.
 
Ye gods. 

I think that man's wooing techniques needed a little polishing; also that a sub should use his or her imagination - strenuously - before using a phrase such as "up for anything".



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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 10:46:31 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

a sub should use his or her imagination - strenuously - before using a phrase such as "up for anything".



Exactly why I laugh at men's profiles that say they have no limits.  My first thought is Oh, I bet we can find a few if we try hard enough.

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 10:51:58 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

a sub should use his or her imagination - strenuously - before using a phrase such as "up for anything".



Exactly why I laugh at men's profiles that say they have no limits.  My first thought is Oh, I bet we can find a few if we try hard enough.


I think that way too! But since they hit upon a hard limit of mine... we shall never know! 

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RE: Extreme Degradation and Verbal abuse - 1/12/2009 11:12:06 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		I guess it's obvious really - though hard to do: one has to try to think of the potentially unpleasant, as well as the pleasant, implications of a phrase like "I'll do anything". 

For me, it worked the other way around.  At one time, back in my early twenties, there was only one, tiny, specific thing that I thought I'd enjoy.  I just found myself collecting more of such things as time went on.  The times I've read something a dommie's said in passing here and thought, "Oooh, really?  You like to do that?  Great!" - it's been enlightening and . . . enjoyable. 

I can have fun with insults (plus a whole range of styles of verbal communication in a D/s context).  Words, though - yes, I agree that they can be damaging - and, no doubt, sometimes much more so than with physical wounds.  I agree with the policy taken at that brothel  I mentioned earlier, in fact.  I know I'd have to define my limits and demand that they're respected.




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